I AM MARRIAGED AND HAVE HAD A BAD MARRAIGE, I HAVE A CHILD SO I HAVE STAYED IN IT. I HAVE FOUND SOMEONE ELSE AND HAVE BEEN SEEING THEM FOR THE LAST 5 YEARS, I LOVE BOTH MY HUSBAND NOW BECAUSE HE IS TRYING BUT I STILL LOVE THE OTHER PERSON IN MY LIFE ALSO. THIS OTHER PERSON IS ALSO MARRIED BUT MAY LEAVE HIS WIFE FOR ME. WHAT SHOULD I DO, HOW CAN I LOVE BOTH PEOPE. SHOULD I DTAY OR GO?
2007-01-10 11:56:29 · 19 answers · asked by twowomanyquestion 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You can love two people at the time. There are many types of love. Which one do you think will last the distance?
2007-01-10 12:10:36 · answer #1 · answered by Charlie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I say that you dont know what the word LOVE really means. If your husband is trying all his best to save the marriage then why would you insist on the other person who is also married? Real Love is Unconditional, no ifs-no buts and because of this you bear a child with him. Loving is accepting the person as a whole, not just for his strengths but loving him especially for his weaknesses.
Think it would be better if you try to save the marriage first. If it wont work out then that's the time to let go. When the scars have healed you can start to have another relationship but make sure to look for a guy who's not married so you wont step on other people's feet. Just think of how much it'd be painful if it happens to you.
2007-01-10 20:17:47 · answer #2 · answered by LadyLuv 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The fact that you are married means that you should not have even been looking for another but you did and he is married also. OMG what a mess !! I'm sure this other guy will not leave his wife for you and so he shouldn't. You both need to fess up, be totally honest with your partners and beg for their forgiveness. Well that is if you want to stay with him (husband ) which is totally up to you but don't leave him for this other guy who will probably stay with his wife anyway. I don't believe you can love two men with all your heart so it's up to you to do what you think is right and will make you happy for the rest of your life !! Forever is a long time, l hope you make the right choice. Cheating should never be an option, if you are not happy, then leave, DON"T cheat !! Best of luck.
2007-01-10 20:21:10 · answer #3 · answered by kazzadanni 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Loving someone and being "in-love" are seperate circumstances. However if you have had a relationship with this other man for 5 years and have talked regularily and spent time together you need to evaluate for YOURSELF what is in your heart and what you want to do. First thought I have right off the bat was if you love your husband, but have had problems and he's living up to his end and working on his issues, then I think you might be giving up to soon. Your marriage and immediate FAMILY should come first. Your mind is clouded and your indecisive because your spending time with both men! You need to take a break from the "boyfriend" tell him you need to work on your marriage and find out where your heart really lies. It will be difficult initially, but if it's meant to be you'll have the rest of your life to spend with him. You need to be sure however before you go seeking another relationship that you have exhausted every effort in your current marriage to make things work out. "The grass isn't always greener on the other side hun"
2007-01-10 20:14:49 · answer #4 · answered by miketoler820 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off you need to realize you are falling or have fell in love with an addiction. Not the person. He did the same thing. You fell in love with something that you lack in your marriage.
If you are in a "bad marriage" you LEAVE that "bad marriage" guess what you made the marriage 5x's worse by what you are doing. You think you are in love, but you are not. You in love with the addiction and the high of what you are doing.
I promise you if you and your lover (who is married) gets together and tried to work on a relationship, it will be the biggest train wreck on the face of the earth. You said yourself, your husband is trying....why aren't you?
Why don't you just be a woman and leave him? Because you are afraid your lover won't "love" you full time like he does part time huh? You want him to pull the trigger first on his marriage, so you can MAYBE do the same on yours?
Your not doing anything but sealing your own fate with Christ honey. Stop playing games. Shut down your marriage and work on YOU, or shut down the affair and confess to the lord for forgiveness and get some counseling asap.
I'll pray for all of you. Good greef!
2007-01-10 20:22:54 · answer #5 · answered by The Internet Is Yours 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
By being involved in another relationship, you can not possibly be giving your husband or your child the love and attention they truly deserve. Don't fool your self into believing the other guy is leaving his wife. In 5 yrs he hasn't yet. He has the best of both of you. Why should he give that up? If you truly do not love your husband, as you have domonstrated in your infidelity you need to let your husband go . Your cheating him and your child of a whole and complete family
2007-01-10 20:09:18 · answer #6 · answered by sweetpea 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am told that yes, you can love to different people. Both people have different attributes that draw you to them. the question you need to ask yourself is this: Why did I marry my husband in the first place? What is it that made the fire between us and how can I get that back. You see, my husband is facing the same issue that you are. He is in love with me, but he also loves someone else. I know that he is not in love with her, but he does have feelings for her. It is not easy for someone to go through this. Don't give up on yourself or your husband. Think about why you did what you did, and how you can address the problem to your husband and make it right. My heart is with both you. I wish you the best.
2007-01-10 20:09:10 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your first priority is your child. I don't think people should stay together for their children, but they owe it to their children to try everything first to make things work before calling it quits. Only one of these men did you make an official commitment to. He is the one you need to work on. If you can say you both tried everything and it still didn't work, then ok. But you can't do that while seeing someone else. End the affair and give your marriage a fair chance.
2007-01-10 20:09:54 · answer #8 · answered by sammiejane67 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If this person is worth leaving your husband for and you feel like you know this person enough then yeah you need to get a divorce. But you have to ask yourself will this man provide for me and my kid. Maybe he will take care of you, but will he do you like he doing his wife, because if a man is cheating on his wife for you what you think he gone do to you!!
2007-01-10 20:12:35 · answer #9 · answered by meme 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you're a cheater and he is a cheater.
If you two both leave your spouses for eachother, you both are going to have trust issues. if you can cheat on one spouse, then you can cheat on another.
Stay. Stop seeing the other guy. After 5 years of cheating...He's not leaving his wife.
2007-01-10 20:13:36 · answer #10 · answered by Dreaux~ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋