my cuz/bestfriend was molested by her dad/my uncle idk what to do?

Question

my friend/cuz was molest by her father/my uncle when she was 3-11 and now shes 15 and shes telling me for the first time. im the first person she has ever told and idk what to say or what to do. she doesnt want me telling anyon,e but she has an 8 year old sister that he might be doing it to her too. and where both scared. and now she cut herself really bad everywhere on her arm and idk what to do HELP

Answer 1

No one has any right to molest a child or touch anyone for that matter if they don't want to be touched. Tell you friend that she really needs to tell someone, an adult, mother, grandmother, aunt, someone that will do the right thing and report this man. If he did it to her he will or may already have done it to her sister and who knows what other children that have been to her house. She definitely needs to tell an adult and have them report it to the police. It is against the law to molest or rape a child and her dad knows the law I'm sure and knows he isn't supposed to do this. PLEASE get her to tell an adult, if she doesn't you should. She may get mad at first because you told her secret but in this case, this kind of secret should not be kept. A man like this is dangerous and does not need to be left alone with any children. If she is your friend and you care about her and her sister be a friend and tell an adult if she won't. If you tell and she gets mad just let her know that were just trying to protect her and her sister because you love them.


PLEASE! I BEG YOU! GO RIGHT NOW AND TELL YOUR MOM OR CALL THE POLICE AND TELL THEM EVERYTHING YOU KNOW THEN COME BACK AND CLICK ON THE PENCIL SIGN AND ADD DETAILS AND LET ALL OF US KNOW THAT YOU HAVE REPORTED IT! IT IS VERY IMPORTANT THAT YOU REPORT IT!


It's been 2 days since you posted this and you haven't let us know if this man has been reported or not. Although I don't know you or your cousin I am very worried and have been thinking about you and your cousins and praying for you. I know that doing the right thing is sometimes hard but reporting this man is the right thing to do. The only way to stop this man from hurting your cousins is to report him to the police.

Answer 2

There is no time limit on child molestation, this must be on her mind, you could save another victim by calling the authorities, in return the authorities will contact a social worker investigator, and the police department which would be a female will sit down and talk to her and help her talk thru the whole situation. She will need when it started the molestation, approximately how many times during each age she was growing up, what he would do, and what he would make her do. If anyone saw him, if he threaten her in anyway not to tell. If he has had a history of this before and has not been reported to her knowledge. After the officials gather all information then he will be brought in for question possibly a polygraph test if he doesn't cooperate. The sister will be taken out the house she will be given to a family member if chosen by the social services and that he have no contact with the sister and also with your friend that is 15 because she is still underage. A court date is set for a preliminary hearing with all evidence, the social service worker would also be a witness since she will be telling her everything also. Do not wait she will not be mad you will be saving her sister from the scars she has.

Answer 3

Having been in the same situation as your cousin (not father but a cousin from 11-14y) I remember never wanting anyone to know. The first person I told was my husband. I'm 32y. now and my family still doesn't know. I kept that secret my whole life, I can tell you it really messed me up. I was so scared so ashamed I still am. I still don't think I could ever tell them.
I do remember hoping and praying some one would find out, just because I was to freighted to tell myself.
Maybe she is feeling the way I did. Wanting/ needing people to know. But she's just to scared to tell herself. she may not even realized this herself. But I can tell you I wish to God someone had figured it out. recovery from this is a long hard process and the more people she has to help support her the better she has.
This is your choice I can only give you my opinion, from my point of view. Good luck to you!! This is a hard choice you need to make.

Answer 4

i comprehend it really is a previous submit yet i'm too tryn to benefit this, i become molested by way of my older brother even as i become 12 all to age 15. An he become in his overdue 20's. It turned right into a terrible journey!! someone I considered as a lot as, ruined my life. My mom knew an did no longer some thing about it an I nonetheless resent her to this present day, I see my brother each of the time an it tears at each of the former wounds… I extremely hv no recognize or love for that guy, i do no longer call him my brother or kinfolk! Bc of him i'm frightened of adult men an my sex life with adult men is nonexistent, i'm lesbian.. i think he pushed me in the direction of it. (I particularly b with a lady) ur daughter would carry alotta anger an resentment to both u an her brother, i might want to call the police officials on him. incorrect is incorrect Idc how previous he become on the time!! Get her into see a shrink bc it truly is been assisting me, or per chance a 'intervention' as a kinfolk positioned it out contained in the open. No judgment, basically communicate it. those kinda issues will mess every person up an will contained in the destiny reason alotta issues for her. take care of her an call police officials!!

Answer 5

First talk to her(your cousin) and tell her how you feel scared for her. You should tell the police or at least her mom better than telling noone. Let her know that when you tell the police to keep him away from you guys. It can only get worse. Has the man even said sorry? He must be dealt with because if you dont you will feel guilty if and when you r cousin gets molested again. Oh make sure that when you tell the police dont tell her father that you are telling them because tht might make things worse. It will be easier.

Answer 6

******DO NOT LISTEN TO THE ADVICE GIVEN BY BROWN HONEY. SHE IS WRONG. THIS IS NOT THE TIME TO WORRY ABOUT RESPECTING PRIVACY. THIS IS THE TIME TO STEP UP AND DO WHAT IS RIGHT AND DO WHAT WILL STOP THE ABUSE.******

PLEASE do not wait one more day to tell an adult...tell someone you feel close to, someone who will believe you and believe your cousin. First you need to flat-out tell your cousin that she needs to be strong and brave if not for herself, but for the sake of her little sister. Beg her. She alone can help to save her sister.

You, your cousin and her little sister should go to the adult you trust and then leave the little girl to watch TV or something and then go tell the adult.

It will be hard, but you MUST do this. This sick man could be hurting your younger cousin or other kids too.

If you are afraid nobody will believe you or your cousin, then go to a counselor at your school or just walk into a police department and talk to a cop. They will have to investigate and they will probably want to remove the kids from the house. So that means that maybe you should talk to your parents first and see if they would allow your cousins to stay at your house. I believe a social worker would be involved and they would make sure your cousin and her sister would be safe with your family instead of with the monster who has abused them.

Do not hesitate. Go tonight, go right now....TELL SOMEONE. This problem is bigger than you. It's bigger than your cousin. She is already hurting herself and she needs counseling and help.

The right thing to do is to tell immediately. You must be brave right now; it will help your cousins survive the rest of their lives and they need you so much right now. Please don't wait to tell.

I don't even know you but I am so proud that you are such a caring person. Your cousins are very lucky to have you in their lives.

Answer 7

Talk to a friend, a minister/priest/rabbi, or call a "Boystown" type hotline. The two of you, and maybe the three of you, need an adult you can trust. Here's a lawyer's tip: set the privacy ground rules before you tell your story, and have your cousin with you. Also, you may be able to get real evidence from the 8 year old's clothing. Also, all hospitals keep on hand something called a "Rape Kit." If you know someone who's been raped/sexually abused, take her/him to the hospital before they shower or bathe. Be strong, be careful, and definitely find an adult you can trust. Good luck.

Answer 8

If she was under the age of 12 when it happened there should not be a time limit, I would have her go talk to someone she trusts, or call child services, talk to your parents, but keep it on the down low, that can really hurt someone for people to know she was molested by her father.

Answer 9

from what I have learned by someone who is a cutter, that they do that becaue it takes away the other pain inside that they are dealing with.. She really needs to see someone, her mental health is at risk. I usually would not give advice as to see a counselor, but in my own experience with this matter, ( my two sons were molested by my ex.. and one son was then raped by his friend for turning him in)
unfortunalely when you turn them in for what they do, they are more protected and we seem to be more victimized, but if it is stillhappening, then your cousin is at risk,, and if you know about it and don't do anything about stopping him, then you may as well be the one molesting her too if your allowing it to continue, these types of men need to be stopped. before any more innocent children are raped of their innocense... you can not replace a child innocent face. or the pain it causes in this case. Something that you can never get back is their innocense of being a child. stop the predator and save a child.. now...... before it's too late... they will arrest him, and depending on the laws in the state in which you live, he will do some time for his crime, once it is on record and he is found guilty he has to be registered on the national list of sex offenders.. please stop him.. I beg of you, for the cousin that is still unsafe. this pain will never go away, Iknow first hand what it does, my oldest son now is 26 and he has major issues and lots of anger which he deals with by using drugs.. dont let this happen to them.... K? please?

Answer 10

If your cousin won't agree to go with you to the school nurse, go yourself. Explain your cousin is cutting. Explain what she told you about the molestation.

Your cousin NEEDS counseling. You can't handle this yourself. You can't keep this secret.

Your 8 year old cousin also NEEDS to be protected. You can't protect her.

I understand that you're both scared. I'm scared for you, and I'm old and far away.

Please. Get your cousin, go to the school nurse (or guidance counselor) and TELL. They will make sure the right things happen and that your cousins are safe and get the help they need.