My mum's trying to make me enter a talent contest?

Question

Hey everyone, Im a 25 yearold advanced guitarist. My mum is always telling me to enter talent contests, and now is putting pressure on me to enter the new upcoming Simon Cowell programme, You've Got Talent. She phoned up and left details and got a form posted out (all without me knowing) I have just told her I really don't want to do it- so I didn't fill the form. She said she is going to fill it out and send it. I don't have a band and I don't sing and I don't give a poop about being famous. But I feel guilty, and hard to explain to mum my feelings about this. I really ain't cut out for this sort of thing, and all it does is embarass and annoy me when she keeps bringing stuff like this up. She just doesn't understand my feeling. I'm not a confident person and never will be, also (as a guitarist) I am not good enough to become professional. Singers dont need music theory and reading ability to become famous- just a good voice. I feel like sh!t, what do I do? Best ansa chosen as always

For everyones info, I came out of a 4 year relationship and sold my house, so only moved back home 8months ago. Thanks for answers so far tho...

Answer 1

Maybe you should just show her this question.
I know how you feel. My kid brother is an exceptional Jazz guitarist, easily good enough to be professional. He used to be in a semi-pro duo, and they were doing ok. In the end though, I think it took too much of an emotional toll on my brother; he's never been a confident person and just couldn't handle the emotional exposure involved in being a performer. So he just quit. He still plays, but only for himself. It's hard for people to understand but I think I get it. I am a confident person, and a professional singer, and I know how scary it can be, and how lonely it is to be on a stage on your own in front of strangers. It is the most exposed place there is.
Maybe you could try to find another muso or band to work with; you may eventually feel that you do want to perform in some way, if it's not so lonely. But don't do it out of guilt, or to please someone else. It's something you have to do for you or it just doesn't feel good. And if it doesn't feel good it doesn't work for anyone; you or your audience.
All that said, don't think you need to be technically perfect to be a pro. There are plenty out there with half a dozen chords; it's more to do with attitude, and that is something you can develop if you want it. So if you would describe yourself as advanced, maybe some of that attitude is already in there somewhere.
It's your call, and nobody elses. Just make sure you enjoy your music, whatever that means to you.

Answer 2

I think you should sit down with your mother and really have it out. As you say you are not a confident person you have probably never done this but just reacted piecemeal each time it comes up. Your mother may well think you are just shy and need encouragement, hence she keeps it up. She is trying to help you but is not succeeding so she keeps trying.

Sit down with her over coffee in a friendly environment and let her know you need to talk to her about something serious. Explain to her that you don't want to be a prefessional guitarist and have other plans for your life, and ask her to stop raising these things.

It is of course possible that she just won't listen, but there is at least a good chance that she will understand what she has failed to understand before and will stop doing it, and your relationship with her will be better and stronger than before.

Worst case is that she just doesn't listen, but then there is still a benefit, because you have dealt with the subject, so next time it comes up, you will be able to just say no and walk out of the room.

Answer 3

I think it's just a miscommunication between you and your mum. If you just tell her how you feel she won't mind, I don't think she's doing it for her. I may be wrong, but you say "I'm not a confident person and never will be". Your mum will know this, in her head she probably thinks, ooh I bet he wants to do that but he doesn't have the confidence to apply. Sit down with her and explain your feelings to her, she'l see your point of view and won't at all be offended. She was putting your best interest first and would most likely appreciate you telling her how you actualy feel.

Hope that helps

Answer 4

If your Mum could read what you've just written, she'd understand.

But as she hasn't read it, and you are 25 still living at home, she is trying to act in your best interest , and give you your "break" like all the TV shows say .

Or are you sorted out with a job etc ?

Even so, when you become a parent , you concentrate on doing the best for your children , and after 25 years of doing this for you. it's a hard habit to break.

Can you encourage her to remember what her hobbies are, and get her to join a drama/art class etc.

It's difficult to refocus on yourself when you've been focused on someone else all that time.

Perhaps if she knew what career/future you're planning for yourself, she wouldn't need to plan one for you. Try not to be cross , she's just your Mum....

M : )

Answer 5

unfortanatly alot of mums try and get there kids (what ever your age) on these talent shows.so don't feel guitly just tell her straight that ur 25 and will not do anything you dont want to..pushing ur self into doing somthing you dont want to do can make you ill. Tell her this..i know its hard but u have to get it out in the open and tell her she cant go and do stuff like this( give out ur details to others) your the only one that know how far to take ur guitar skills and if your happy as you are then stay that way till you and only you deside to take it further..if you wish too..

good luck.

Answer 6

Hi
first appreciate that your mum thinks your talented,secondly, why are you doing this if you dont think it will get you anywhere, thirdly take your balls in your hand if YOU think you are good enough and approach a local band to gain some experience/confidence then do your mother proud,finally if you are that good whats the harm in trying...if you fail who have you let down,cos your mum will always love you no matter what and at least you tried....GOOD LUCK x

Answer 7

in the beginning sing a music which you realize the words to off with tips from heart. You sound like your are literally interpreting the words off a sprint bit paper as you sing and it does not sound organic. additionally your voice is amazingly bland. It replaced into uninteresting watching you sing. Your no longer super yet you ain't good the two.