My bf has left again and he told me i`d always have a place in his heart as i`m the mother of his child and he`ll always love me.why did he bother saying all this crap as it certainly doesn`t make me feel any better,he says i`m better off without him and he`ll always only cause me heartache,which i know is true as he`s also said he can`t channge his drinking.
I wish he`d just told me hated my guts and never wanted to see me again.why bother to spare my feelings he never has b4??
2007-01-10 10:38:21 · 16 answers · asked by onlyme 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
foowkin men for you he probs wants to leave on a good note incase his new life don't work out then he can come back and say "iv'e made a mistake" go get yr hair a nails done blow loads on new clothes and get yrself out on the town hunni,
Show him what he is missing,good luck and think positiva xxx
2007-01-10 19:41:52 · answer #1 · answered by robertboozychic 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Easy, because he is looking for the easy way out. He wants to quit. Quitting is a lot easier than standing in the pit of the fire and fighting.
What you have to do is start to understand that anybody who has walked out of your life, you didn't need them anyway. Not to say that you guys still can't get back together. You just need to understand this is your time to put your religion first, accept his/her mercy and allow him/her to handle your battle for you.
This is how you gain a piece of mind to work on you. Fix you. Make you a better person for you. Your destiny had nothing to do with him. Trust me, when people see how you are just fine and doing very well without them....they always come back!
When they do it's either too late b/c you've healed or you have to continue to take charge and allow them to help themselves the way you did. If they can't, you will be strong enough to say no and move on with your savior leading the way.
Be cool.
2007-01-10 19:07:46 · answer #2 · answered by The Internet Is Yours 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know what you mean!! AHHH! I firmly believe that he said that as a cop out, excuse to help himself feel better. While you ARE better off, it still sucks, and only time heals that. I know it would be easier if you found a reason to hate the guy, but hate eats you up inside, and you dont need that. He isnt trying to spare your feelings, he is trying to justify his behavior. Clearly, he CAN do something about his drinking, he is just too lazy. Someone who Truly loved you would try to find a way to fix problems and put you and your child first. Surround yourself with positive friends & focus on your child. It sounds like you are going to be the majority of her well-being. Good luck. I am sorry you are going thru this, but there is someone out there who will be good to you and your child. Set your standards high, and be civil to your ex. Dont go out of your way for him, just be amicable for your child.
2007-01-10 18:59:46 · answer #3 · answered by Cris Tee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it always hurts when the object of our love no longer loves us and has hurt us, and on leaving us he shows some kind of emotion for us, true it would just be better if we knew they hated us, so we could just hate them back. but when this happens it causes us to question the whole breakup, causes us to wonder why they left us if they still said they loved us. think he may just have felt a twinge of guilt about what he was putting u through and reacted to that. but if he isn't willing to stop drinking than what kind of life would it be for u anyway. he is still tied to his demons, no matter what. when they leave us like this it causes us to want to rethink the entire thing and thats where the problems come in.
2007-01-10 19:21:59 · answer #4 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He said it to make himself feel better. You already know you are better off without him and I know it hurts, believe me I know how it hurts, but do you want your child to grow up seeing his/her father drunk all the time? The fighting would just intensify over time. He is very selfish if he is unwilling to put his child before drinking! You can make a better life for you and your child without him. I can tell you that it does get better as time goes by and it may seem like it won't right now but I assure you it will. Smile you can do it!!!!
2007-01-10 22:20:19 · answer #5 · answered by starlitestarbite 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the point behind him saying that is so YOU won't hate HIS guts. He's wanting to sound like he's so concerned about your feelings when in truth he obviously doesn't care enough to get a handle on his drinking. Besides all that he may be thinking if he leaves like that he can keep one foot in the door if he should sometime wish to reappear.
2007-01-10 19:48:18 · answer #6 · answered by color me blue 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Since he is your babies daddy its better to stay civil. But tell him you dont want to hear his sweet talk anymore. If he has a drinking problem you are better off without him. Let him have a relationship with the child but tell him your off limits now.
2007-01-10 18:51:19 · answer #7 · answered by chemky1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, take it from a guy who had to do the same thing once. If he told you all of that which he wouldn't have before? then he really meant it. He doesn't hate your guts. He's holding you down and your better off without him. Thats all he's trying to say.
2007-01-10 19:58:06 · answer #8 · answered by forgiving_madison 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sounds like guilt and emotional blackmail to me. It doesn't sound like this is the first time he has left and if he is drinking heavily he probably has stuff he needs to deal with. It's just a shame for you and your child to be caught up in his world. I'm sorry for you.
2007-01-10 23:23:04 · answer #9 · answered by makehaysunshine 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
iv never been in your position, but do you really think you would feel better if he said he hated you? people have problems and they do things that hurt other people they dont mean it could he be depressed. suggest he gets help and wait untill you know hes better before you let him back. I wish you luck
2007-01-10 19:57:45 · answer #10 · answered by ssmc 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋