Is it worth it to study constantly and not have fun in college?

Question

I am 20 years old and I am in one of the most difficult majors in my college and I have to study so much that I don't see the light of day. Some people are telling me that I'll regret it one day if I don't have some fun in college but my parents tell me basically it's too bad if I have to be anti-social to get good grades. I'm now absolutely hating college because I have heavy-handed parents breathing down my neck to perform at the top and I have officially had no life since high school. What should I do? Mostly looking for answers from people who have finished college. It would help if you were also an engineer/scientist/other ridiculous major (since that's where I reside).

Answer 1

I think that realizing that you do have choices, even if they aren't choices that you want, will help to relieve your sense of being trapped in a life that you don't enjoy. You have the power to change it, but the repercussions could be pretty unpleasant, depending on what you decide to do.

Ten or twenty years from now, you're not going to be looking back at your college years thinking, "Gee, I wish that I had spent more time hung over wondering what I did the night before."

That said, balance in your life is important. Do you HAVE to get all As? Why? If you're working toward a grad school goal, take a look at the entrance requirements at some of the programs you'd like to get into. They might be interested in your extracurriculars, too, and if you don't have any . . .

If you're just doing it to keep Mom and Dad happy, that's the wrong reason. If you are paying your own way, either via scholarships, work-study or student loans, then it's time to define your boundaries with your parents as an adult. Of course, if they're paying the bill, you don't want to bite the hand that feeds you.

I spent the first 30 years of my life trying to be something that I wasn't in order to make other people happy/proud/accepting of me. I was an A student, but I did that for me. I chose a rather painful exit from that life and damaged myself, caused hurt feelings and alienated friends and family. But now, twelve years later, my life is my own. Anyone who loves me or is a friend now, accepts me for who I actually am.

If you are not living at home with the folks, protect your privacy. There's a difference between lying to your parents and simply not sharing every detail of your life. They don't need to know how you spend every minute of your time.

This is what I tell all of my nieces and nephews: “Disappoint the people who love you just as soon as possible, so they can get over it and you can get on with living YOUR life rather than the one that they are living through you.” It's harsh and hyperbolic and it’s meant to make you laugh. The point is: You're an adult. You get to make your own decisions. Some of them will be good, some of them will be bad. Some of them will please your parents and some of them won't. But in the end, you get to make them, and learn from them, or not learn from them and make the same bad decision again and again.

What should you do? You should take control over your life. You do that by realizing every day that you are choosing what you are going to do and what that implies for your future. Choose your own consequences.

Every day that I choose to drive a car that isn't paid for and live in a house that is mortgaged, I'm also choosing to go to work so I can pay for my choices. I can choose not to go to work, but then I am also choosing to let my life change very radically.

It may be that the choice you make is to simply change your outlook, and continue to study like the scholar that your parents expect you to be; but if you decide to do that, you’ll feel better about it because YOU made the choice. It may be that you decide that it's not necessary to graduate #1 in your class, because the master's program you want to get in finds it acceptable for you to be in the top 10% of your class. It may be that you tell your parents off, quit school and become a panhandler on the beaches of Mexico.

Once you are doing what YOU decide to do (even if it’s no different than what you’ve been doing), you’re going to feel a lot better.

Best of luck to you!

Answer 2

What I do is I get all of my paintings performed earlier than I do some thing. When I get again from elegance for the day, I do my paintings. Then I cross hang around with my peers. I do not permit myself out till I am completed. My weekends begin at four:20 on Thursday, so I go back to my dorm and get the whole lot I ought to get performed. I most of the time conclude through round 6-eight after which I am unfastened all weekend to have amusing! As for learning is going, I speed myself. If I have a experiment Tuesday on five chapters, I begin learning the Tuesday earlier than. I research a bankruptcy an afternoon and overview the final two days. And on account that one of the crucial learning can be performed over the weekend, I most of the time supply myself a couple of further days for wiggle room figuring out that I would no longer research in the future. It's all approximately stability and doing what demands to be performed first.

Answer 3

I am 49 years old. I had a great time in college, but my only real regret in life is that I did not have more fun in high school! I was so worried about getting into college that I focused solely on that. You have to make time for some fun in life - I don't mean getting into trouble, just enjoying your time on Earth. It's called "balance". You don't want to be burned out at 21, when you will just be starting out in the world. Your parents mean well - they want you to have a successful life, and sometimes you need to sacrifice a little of the present to secure a good future. But you shouldn't sacrifice EVERYTHING. Life is short - enjoy it! Best of luck to you.

Answer 4

You just need to have better time management skills and know that you can not be involved in everything. If your major is too difficult to manage think about getting a tutor to relieve some of the pressure. I have plenty of friends that graduated with degrees such as yours that were able to go out and have a life as well.

Answer 5

You need to form study groups. My engineer friends rarely had time to have fun. So, they had study sessions. Had fun talking during that time, took breaks to watch tv or play video games together, etc.

It wasn't much of a life, but they got their grades and made the best of a rough situation. Had what fun they could, altho it was mainly limited to stuff in our apartment (or someone's) or the school labs. I hung around some time and it could be fun.