Stepson...13 yrs old. We have had full custody of him since he was 11. He is the most angry person I have ever known. He can walk in a room and make you wish you were not even around...or better yet...he treats you like you are not. My husband and I don't know what to do. He is angry all the time. Gets mad if we ask him to repeat himself after he mumbles a response to us. He is disgusted....mad...angry all the time. To him it would be a perfect world if we never spoke to him. I know all teenagers go thru phases....but I think we have some real issues here.....any advice at all would be appreciated....
2007-01-10 07:59:22 · 12 answers · asked by emotional blonde 5 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
His parents have been divorced since he was 2 years old. We had to step in and take custody of him because his mother had a drug dealer living in her home (with the child)...when he got off the school bus one day she was tied up to a chair and this guy was there waving a shot gun around....
He and I have actually always had a good relationship. I am probably the only female in the world that trusts. I work in the school system that he attends and that has given us a great bonding tool. I help him with school work. I take him shopping and to school events. I am his biggest cheerleader at sporting events. Attend every game...every practice.
It is something that has developed very severely in the past six months....
2007-01-10 08:20:34 · update #1
First off know that you are not alone..........I am 36 I was married to a man for 15 years who had two sons at the time they were 3 and 8. We had custody of the boys, for reasons similar to your own. A boy who doesn't "Bond" with his biological mother......is typically an unhappy child and later man. They have major abandonment issues......I know this because I went through it, for 15 years! One of my stepsons is also "bipolar" and there is a huge difference between the "teenage blues" and bipolar. Here is my advice......try and talk to your stepson..........stay away from "I" questions and answers......lean to "do you" think or "how do you" think, feel, etc. Ask him if he would like to go to counseling, if he doesn't it is a waste of time and money..............find out if emotionally problems, depression, bipolar, run in either side of his family, if so then see a pediatric neuroligist. Our doc, changed our world he was a God send. Most important with any child, never never discuss the child or children with your spouse within hearing range of the child......and remember children have very BIG ears. And last but not least look in your local paper for support groups for parents you will be surprised how much just knowing and hearing other peoples horror stories will help you in dealing with your own issues. At least it did for me. Alas, my boys are now 19 and 24, they grew up and are great men.....although their father and I haven't been married for the past 2 years............I am there only mother and they finally appreciate it! There is a light at the end of the tunnel. .....God speed!
2007-01-10 09:06:40 · answer #1 · answered by imbabyh 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would just pay for the consequenses of marrying a man who would pawn the responsibility of his children off on the women in his life. The poor kids parents didn't want him in a divorce? What do you think should happen to the psychology of a boy who is rejected by both of his parents, on top of the feeling that maybe you were a born mistake becasue mom and dad don't love eachother anymore. You need to lay off the militant stuff and provide a loving home and at least the relationshipi with his father if you can force this guy to to his part as a father. He is no less a father to that boy than he is to your kids. Godd luck. p.s. You shouldn't "whoop" him.
2016-05-23 06:02:26 · answer #2 · answered by Daniela 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My son was the same way....just seemed to be angry, like yours. I was starting to get angry with him too, all the time. And it was a repeat, every single day. Grades were bad, disrespect of his room and us and everyone around him...etc. I sat down and realized that all he needed was some love and attention. I started giving him hugs throughout the day and telling him how proud I was of him (when he'd do something well). Which wasn't that often...but I made sure I started that and next thing I knew he was doing more and more good things just to get the praise. Now, he actually cares if he did something bad. I love the change!!
You may not be open to this...but what else do you have to lose? Just start "spreading" the love!
2007-01-10 08:11:39 · answer #3 · answered by Traci D 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Maybe he doesn't like living there, or NO OFFENSE AT ALL, maybe he doesn't like his step parent, I know I don't like mine and I tend to act like that at certain times. you will just have to leave him be for a while, if he starts to become violent though you better put a belt in action , taking away privileges is funny to most teenagers, contrary to what adults might think. I'm 15
2007-01-10 08:06:40 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should give him a sheet of paper, and tell him to write down everything that makes him mad. or maybe he justs misses his mom, and wants to see her. i'm a 13 year old girl, so i can relate. have you and your husband been showing him the love he needs, are yall two good steparents? maybe he is just being rebellious, but I hope this helps. good luck.
2007-01-10 08:17:35 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Counseling. He needs a third party to dump his emotions on. His anger is stemmed from hurt. Remember that.
Tell him lovingly that you know he's unhappy and you've arranged for him to talk about stuff with someone who is experienced with people in his situation. Tell him you really care about him.
Good luck!!
2007-01-10 08:13:52 · answer #6 · answered by Margie 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He's angry that his dad is with someone else, i'm going to guess.
He's probably really mad at you, and he's acting as if he doesn't want to know You, but he probably Does like you, but just wants to make your life miserable.
it's a phase, definitely. And it should pass .
2007-01-10 08:11:35 · answer #7 · answered by Jam 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some brain disease. It can be start of Bipolar Disorder. He needs treatment , medicines and medication. If it is early stage, he will get recover very quickly.
2007-01-10 08:45:24 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
does he still see his mom? maybe he misses her.have they been divorced long? have his dad talk to him about it. I was 22 when my parents got divorced and even though I was grown and had a child of my own, their divorce had an impact on me. i was mad at both of them for a long time, especially my dad, I blamed him for it. good luck!
2007-01-10 08:09:54 · answer #9 · answered by Mz. Tanning Bed Junkie! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would suggest professional counseling. Do it soon so that he isn't one of those people that shoot others out of complete anger. Good luck
2007-01-10 08:05:49 · answer #10 · answered by Mrs. Always Right 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋