I have been dating my bf for 3 years, tomorrow. I am still waiting for him to ask me to marry him, like he said he is going to. The thing is, I want to have a baby. I am young (only 20), but I believe that I am ready to be a mom. I don't think he wants a baby, yet. How can I bring this up to him without him freaking out? Serious answers only please.
2007-01-10 07:41:30 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
I would say that if, as you seem to indicate, he's going to propose soon, then wait til that day. When he proposes it'll be big and you'll feel all warm and fuzzy etc. Always a good time to discuss future plans. If he loves you enough to marry him, then he'll compromise and respect you. But don't push it on just one day. Talk gently and make sure he's in a serious mood, not one of those funny-guy moods.
It's an important matter to you, and you need to share your thoughts/feelings with him. Best of luck honey.
2007-01-10 07:45:26 · answer #1 · answered by purplmonkeez 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
If he is not ready you need to respect that. He is your "would be husband" & what kind of marriage would you have if you can't respect him?
You may very well want to be a mother & there is nothing wrong for a young woman to want to be a mother, very natural. But if you put that "want" above everyone & everything else you are being selfish. (I am sure you are NOT a selfish person) Wait until you have a support & accountability system in place...What I mean is, wait until you are married, when your man is ready then he will be just as excited as you (all good things are worth waiting for!) Wait for the support & excitement of your families, they are a huge asset, and great to have them on your side...
As far as telling him you want to have kids, you SHOULD tell him you are excited that you feel you have found someone worth having children with & that he will be a great father when you both are ready. Making a child takes 2, raising a child takes an army, wait until you have everyones blessings, you'll be so much happier, I promise!
2007-01-10 08:09:14 · answer #2 · answered by Boppysgirl 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Why do you want a baby at 20? That is the bigger question. Why not college? A decent job? And THEN a baby??? You could finish college by 24 and have a baby at 25. What is the hurry?
I had a baby at 17, it's not fun trying to take care of a baby work two full time crappy jobs and go to school. You should be able to take care of a baby without a man - even if he agrees to it - can you handle it without him? You should be able to answer that question yes before you have one. Anything could happen. Death, another woman.........the only thing harder then being alone with a baby is being POOR alone with a baby. At least if you have a good job, you can handle everything yourself.
2007-01-10 07:48:18 · answer #3 · answered by Chula 4 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Ask him his thoughts on marriage and family where he sees his self in the next year or 5 but dont be pushy just because you have been together doesnt not mean that he will turn out to be the family man you hope he will or he could surprise you and say i have been thinking and this is what i want in the however many years or near future it will help you see if he is really serious or if you were a constant for him in high school but dont blow up over it if he says im not looking for kids or marriage
2007-01-10 07:48:39 · answer #4 · answered by sexy b 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You cant force the issue that will only send him out the door. How about if the two of you talk and say for instance you suggest to him that if 6 months from now he hasnt proposed then it is time for the two of you to go your seperate ways--------by being apart for a bit this just might get him to realize he really is in love with you and wants to be married or he 's not. Then you know where you stand-------sure it is gonna hurt for a while, but it is better to give yourself a time frame as to wait for 10 more yrs. and wonder .
2007-01-10 09:24:34 · answer #5 · answered by nickle 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie, I dont imagine its achieveable to truly freak out your pyschologist, as this probable isnt the first time shes heard that, and if shes been a psychologist for a lengthy time period shes probable heard fairly a lot each little thing, so I wouldnt project too a lot about her reaction, fantastically on account that she wouldnt choose you anyhow. i might want to concentration a lot more effective on how your going to inform her and what your going to assert. and then perchance make some psychological notes on techniques to artwork consisting of her in this concern and get handed it, without hurting your self. also, you may comprehend that in case your below 18, your psychologist may could tell your father and mom, if she thinks your a danger to your self or to others. good success sweetie!!
2016-12-28 15:29:53 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know how old your boyfriend is but I assume he is close to your age. If so give it some time he is only 20 something and still wants a life and to settle down , he is probably still in college. I know i wouldn't want a baby. If you love each other you both will wait.
2007-01-10 08:01:51 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
If he hasn't asked you to marry him yet... then he's not ready for the life-time commitment of a child. You need to talk to him about the reality of your relationship ending in marriage before you bring a kid into the mix.
Happy Anniversary.
2007-01-10 07:45:13 · answer #8 · answered by naenae0011 7 · 7⤊ 0⤋
ASK HIM HOW HE FEELS ABOUT HAVING KIDS AND IF HE'D LIKE TO HAVE KIDS SOMEDAY. ALSO MENTION THAT YOU LOVE HIM AND YOU'RE READY TO TAKE THE RELATIONSHIP FURTHER, WHEN HE IS ALSO READY. JUST BRING IT UP SOMETIME WHEN YOU SEE SOME KIDS OR WATCHING A MOVIE OR SOMETHING, DON'T JUST BRING IT UP OUT OF THE BLUE FOR NO REASON, HE MAY GET SUSPICIOUS.
2007-01-10 07:53:40 · answer #9 · answered by Jen G 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
wait till he pops the question and u get married to him. make sure it's right before u bring a child into the world with him. you both may change over the next 2-5 years(i did at 21 and divorced from my childs father) all i'm saying is yes your grown but your mind may change about things over the next few years, u never can tell!!!! take it from me, i had my son at 16. married his dad at 18 and was divorced by21. we just both grew upand grew apart. good luck!
2007-01-10 08:16:06 · answer #10 · answered by Mz. Tanning Bed Junkie! 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋