How do you help a sensitive boy (age 9) not to cry all the time?

Question

My step-son will cry for no reason and we know he is really sensitive. We think it is because his mother treats him like an infant when he is with her. Like when he leaves our house after the weekend he will start crying on his way out the door and his mom thinks we did something to him. At Christmas he told us he didn't want to leave his step-brothers and started crying and she thought it was because he missed her. What can we do to help him? What if something is wrong at his house and he wont tell us?

I know we had problems this summer with his mother questioning him about new things we have at our house but we never put her down. I just want to know what to do when he does cry... and how to make him toughen up. We have 5 boys altogether and none of the others do this.

Answer 1

He is crying for a reason. It's normal for a boy of nine to feel torn between Mom and Dad's house. It's developmentally appropriate to cry when you are upset. Nine is still young. Sadly boys are encouraged to choke down their emotions. Some perfect this earlier than others. If he's crying a lot outside his family circle and it embarrasses him, then it might be time to try to help him learn not to cry. If not, just give him love support and unconditional love. Eventually he'll get used to having 2 households. If you think something is wrong at his house watch for other clues. Be careful not to criticize his mother so he feels safe telling you his concerns.

Answer 2

I feel that your step-son needs some type of intervention because he is 9 yrs. old & still doesn't know how to use his words & rather just crys. The sooner the intervention the better able he will know how to get his feelings out without crying. I can understand you thinking he just gets babied with his mom & that may be where the conflict is & he is unable to talk about what's bothering him. There is probably a school guidance counselor at his school & if there isn't, I suggest you go to a mental health center & have him talk with a trained therapist to get to the bottom of what he needs. Hope this helps!

Answer 3

Is he crying because you are putting down his mother and there is always stress involved in moving between two homes? Can you speak to his mother about your concerns without being judgmental and arguing and blaming? Maybe he really wants to be both places, with his mom and with your family, and he is feeling anxious and conflicted? Why do you suspect there is "something wrong" at his house? This boy needs your support and love and part of that is putting aside whatever anger you have at his mother, for his sake.

Answer 4

It sounds like something unhealthy is going on, and the trick is to teach the boy to control his emotions without turning him into one of those grown men who thinks men can't ever cry for any reason. A mother who babies him certainly isn't helping. While you're not responsible for him, his dad carries some clout. Let Dad talk to a child psychologist, maybe, for some help. He could consult an attorney for the right to do that. He shouldn't have to stand by and watch Mom turn this child into a simpering sop.

Answer 5

does he act like he is afraid of his mother,does he have a step-dad,if you find nothing wrong at home start playing sports with him when he begins to cry ignore him keep playing ball sounds like he is use to getting the attention he wants by crying the more you ignore him the more he will realize he cant have his way

Answer 6

Try a concular at school or around town ask the person to tell u what he says and u might beable to fix it

Answer 7

I think you should seek help for him. It sounds like there are bigger problems for him then just being too sensitive.

I really wish you and your family the best of luck.