married men please answer?

Question

How can a man who just ended a long term realtionship (4 years) and claims he still love the person but telling someone else that he just met he love her too??men please spill ur secrets

Answer 1

Answer this for me. Why do some women fall for it?

Answer 2

When you are married and you develop such a strong bond with a single person your love starts to become unconditional. When that bond is broken or interupted for any reason the first instinct is, I can't be alone, I have to find someone. I mean lets face it, nobody wants to be alone!! A new girl who give a guy something that he did not get in a past relationship is easy to fall in love with quickly. After all don't we get out of relationships, even long term, if we feel something is missing? Once we find it it doesn't matter if the best thing that ever happened to us is sitting in the house by herself, we got what we needed and for a split second we are happy. Until of course, you ladies come back saying I want to work things out, I miss you!!! Then we don't know what to do. Guys are jerks and don't really care, we will try to keep both of you if we can getting caught later is not something we worry about a lot!

Answer 3

I hate to be the first to answer, but I think it is a great question that you ask. I am not sure what strategic secrets I can reveal, my membership in the mens club is still in good standing.

I have been in situations where I thought I might have love feelings for someone but having desire for someone else. And depending on which beliefs got the most thought in my mind that is where I usually ended up. As humans we all tend to try to escape pain seek comfort. Pain comes in alot of forms. Even being intimate and feeling close can be expericenced as painful to some people men and women.

Sounds like the two of you of different expectations of what love means. It could mean for him, that he loved sleeping with one and loves sleeping with the other. Certainly if we look at the what might be the truth, he is wandering around without making or keeping commitments to either; so how much pleasure could he gain from that long term? The "feeling" of being in love can be intoxicating. In four years he could certainly get to know the girl and love her not be in love with her.

Answer 4

Losing the lover doesn't mean you don't love them anymore. If you've been in a relationship with a lot of deep emotions, then even though the relationship is over, you still care about what happens to that person. I've been married for ten years and I love my wife as much as humanly possible, but I also have an old girlfriend that I hope is healthy and happy, even though I don't want to be in a relationship with her.

Answer 5

Is this hard to figure out?

He tells you (his ex) that he loves you to avoid getting you angry. It leaves a door open to return to the relationship if the new one doesn't work out and he doesn't feel there is any reason to upset somebody if he can avoid it.

To the new girl he says he loves her so that he can have sex with her. Maybe he feels something, such as the excitement of being with a new person.

Basically, he tells the women what they want to hear to avoid conflict or get what he wants. Why else?

Answer 6

It isn't love...it's lust. Love is just the word women want to hear. Makes 'em feel safe, protected, wanted and exclusively yours. Sort of like the way you felt when he kept telling you this and now you find out he was a liar, a cheat, a wretch and a male whore. Now he's schoomizing this other woman with the same lines that worked on you. In fact...that works on all of you women.
Problem is that nowadays you never know if a man is being sincere in his terms of endearment.
So you see my pet. There's no big secret. Its just that there are men (and women too...I'm not excusing them either) who are manipulative and will twist and play with your emotions to get a swell piese of as*, a warm place to sleep, a comfortable apartment and have their meals cooked and laundry done.
He's been having an affair with this woman prior to all of this. You know that right? he no doubt has told her (if she even knows about you) how you don't (pick a catagory...cook, clean, sex, oral sex, stop complaining, work, save money)...any will do. That's how men work it sweetie.
So...best of luck to you. Be glad you're rid of the jerk. Watch...give him time...he'll want back in. Lets see if you allow it. Oh...you say "no" now but I know plenty of women who knuckle under because "they love one another". Yeah....kick me once, shame on you...kick me twice...shame on me.

Answer 7

I've never been divorced, but if it ever happened, I think I would still love my wife in 4 years or even 40. Part of this man will always love his ex. It doesn't mean that he can't love you.

Answer 8

It's guy talk. It's like a girl dumps a guy and he is heart broken to the point of being disfunctional. I mean can't even think straight.

When he sees his buddies and they mention it, he says,
" Ah, whatever; I couldn;t care less about her anyways."

Guys do that because they won't show thier feelings because they feel it is a weakness. It's a guy thing. I know it doesn't make sense, but it's the truth.

Answer 9

There's no secret. This man just doesn't know anything about relationships and commitment and what "love" really means. He's just confused, that's all.

Answer 10

He is confused. If a man gives heart and soul to a woman he does not have room in his heart or time for anybody else. Be careful with this guy

Answer 11

I don't believe in that. The bible states a similar situation like that. You cannot have two Gods. You will love one more than the other. He has to make a decision. He can't love two equally.