Big marital problems??

Question

My husband and i met in college which was fun we had a blast.Now we have been married just about three years and i am turning 24 everything seems to be going down hill very fast for some reason.Financially we are fine living very comfortably but still hubby finds something wrong with everything and anything?We have a daughter who is turning 2 yrs old and my uncle who is turning 16 who lives with us.Neither child causes too many problems really my uncle keeps to him self really or babysits for my daughter which is a huge help.Both me and my hubby work but i only work part time.He thinks i am being lazy!and that my house keeping skills are terrible when really he never helps out and i consider my cleaning fair at least.My husband also never wants to talk about anything anymore, he makes decisions without consulting me he bought a Camaro that he crashed!All of a sudden he wants to stay out with the boys all night?No longer intrested in sex?

I have not let my self go really at 5 ft 7 and 114 pounds.I have always taken care of myself and all my efforts to restore his intrest in me(S factor workout i bought a pole) seem to be failing sex only 3 times a month.

I did go for help but he did not attend more than once.

Answer 1

Wow this is a big problem. You need to get some help. I know you are going to be told this alot but marriage is hard work and it takes both people in it to make it work. and it sounds likes he isn't working at it that hard right now. Maybe there is something going on with him. Has he lost a loved one or a job or something? I would say sit down and talk to him about how you feel and if he won't lesson then write him a letter. You have to let him know that you are not happy with the way things are or they will not get better. See a therapist if you can they can help.... they help me and my husband and I know of some friends that got help that way to...... with is not always a sure thing but at lest give it a try.

Oh and if paying for the help is something you can't do where are programs that can help you can ask a your Church or at your SS offices

Good luck to you

Answer 2

Poor choice of a life mate I'd say. I have to laugh. Everybody who has the same complaint as you do is at sixs and sevens as to what to do. Well baby...no one ever said married life would be teddies, silk, candles, screwing all day and kissy-kissy.
The only way you make it last it work at it. However...too many people don't want to because it's just too much effort. Much simplier to divorce you know. That's the great American way. Too much effort? Broke it? Then throw it away. Oh...forget the fact you have property, kids, money that all will now be divided up in court. Making a former spouse hate you because everyone wants their pound of fleash out of the divorce. That is never taken into consideration.
I've been married 23 years. Sure I wanted to kill my wife. I know she wanted to do the same with me. But cooler heads prevailed and we talk...we conceed...and you let your spouse know just what you'll concede to and just where you draw the line and take a stand.
Also...Camaro's are kids cars...no serious adult would even consider owning one unless you're a 50 year old man with your shirt unbuttoned to your navel, have enough gold chains around your neck to make Mr. T green with envy and think women between the ages of 21 and 30 find you irristable.
No sex? Ah well......I have to say that even at this juncture in my old life I've never, ever had that dilema so can't help you there. Finally....stays out with the boys all night. You didn't marry a man...you married a little boy. Good luck. If he won't listen to you and you two can't come to any agreements then divorce or take your lumps and live with it. The choice is yours.

Answer 3

Not to be a fly on the ointment, but you may have picked a rotten apple. The fact that he bought a car without consulting you tells me he is thinking only about himself and his desires. There is a small percentage of men who simply can not withstand the monotony and difficulties of family life, and end up packing it in and leaving. These guys all have one thing in common: Complete self absorption

The other explanation is your husband is a little bored with work and needs additional stimulation. Since he is not getting this at work, he tries to find this with the boys. But the fact that he stays out all night with the boys when he has a baby at home does not bode well for this explanation.

This is of course only my opinion, and I hope this answer finds you well. Good luck!

Answer 4

My answer is for you to ask some questions of yourself:
1. Do you feel loved and cherished by husb?
2. Are you happy the way things are?
3. What would have to change so that you would feel loved and cherished.
4. What heve you told hiusb specifically about your readout of the situation?
5. What is his response?
6. What SPECIFICALLY is his complaint with your housekeeping.
6. Have you asked him why he seems so disaffected and removed from the reationship?
These are meant to clarify the issues. Getting a clearer picture of 'what's going on here' is the first next step. Don't ignore your feelings and intuition that it's not going well.
Best wishes
Magdalen

Answer 5

You married young, and maybe he wants to do stuff he didn't get to do. Hubby and I married young too, but luckily, he got all that crazy stuff out of the way. Best thing to do, talk to him and make him listen. Tell him how you feel and that you want him with you and that having a guys night out is okay, but in moderation...maybe once a month, but not getting home the next morning. As for your house cleaning skills, I think you do a fair job because you don't feel appreciated. It even happens to me sometimes when I throw a little pity party for myself. and definately ask him why he isn't interested in sex anymore. Good luck! :)

Answer 6

i think of you the two want some severe third party counseling, with a bit of luck church based. i could tension the magnitude of staying at the same time if for no different reason than the youngsters, yet i will think of that throughout the adventure that your husband famous out that your son isn't his, which would be too lots for him. regardless of the incontrovertible fact that, he delivered this on with the affair ... yet none of this would desire to ever consequence in endangering the youngsters, that would desire to be the place this is stopped. It appears like an ordeal separation would be so as exceedingly if the youngsters are suffering. this is unhappy that divorces are many times triggered with the aid of one hurting the different and the different getting back and the unique escalating etc etc etc. this is a spiral that in simple terms has one holiday spot. It takes the two one in all you to convey this out of its obtrusive end. As Danny Devito says in war of the Roses, "In Divorce, there's no triumphing, in simple terms tiers of loosing" (or something like that). And this is relatively authentic while there are teenagers in touch. i could strongly, no STRONGLY recommend which you the two get some severe counseling, some refocus on what your relationship is approximately, what a marriage is for, the thank you to construct a kinfolk, etc. in case you attend church, i could recommend looking there first.

Answer 7

Your husband is a boy who has yet to pull his head out of his butt and grow up or there is no way the marriage is going to work, Big mistake was buying a car and not telling you and then crashing it, oh man i would kill my husband if he did that. but we are so poor that would never happen. you guys need help or at least he does, real bad, time for boy to grow up and for you to lay down some laws or there is no marriage, staying out all night no way, tell him he can not go out with out you, if things get bad you can change locks on the doors and get him out.

Answer 8

well- he mihgt be comfortavle with you now - no matter how pretty you are if he's not interested in you anymore then- yyou can't do anythign about it but some reverse psychology- act like you're not interested either and see how it goes. Good luck and i would suggest find a full time job- he probably feels stressed or has recently met another gurl that you don't know about.

Answer 9

sounds like he needs to grow up , and as far as the part that he thinks he can stay out all night with the boys? yeah right, you need to put him in his place, let him know that you will not put up with his childish behavior. kinda sounds like he's found another interest, dig deep and don't let him treat you like that, as far as the house work goes, if he doesn't help do his share , then stop washing his clothes , don't prepare his meals, look after only you and the children, see if he notices it then. happened to me too we worked equally hours and same shifts, same place, didn't take him long to realize somethings not right , he didn't have any clean clothes to wear to work and he didn't have any lunch packed and ready, haha, he took notice right away. worked for me ! good luck!

Answer 10

Well, then its time for you to move your part-time working status to full-time status. Your husband's actions clearly shows me that he is no longer interested in this reationship. Or he could be blaiming you for things in order to cover up what he is really doing. Stop waiting on him to do for you when you can do for yourself. You have a decision to make. Either stay with him and remain misreable. Or start making changes in your life to better yourself and be happy. Your husband has made his decision. What is yours going to be?