She is the wife of my hubby's friend. I got married a year ago and met her soon after. Almost immediately she started to exhibit signs of extreme jealousy and competitiveness. Before our marriage my hubby would eat at their place often and it seems she could not bear to cut off her apron strings to him. She wasnt happy he was engaged to me.
She quickly redecorated her place to get an exact living room set like ours (complete with potpourri and other misc items I had arranged) (we were setting up our place then), beat me to hosting a dinner I was planning for our common friends that i told her about, lied that my husband used to flirt with a girl at her flat before marriage, barged into my kitchen and criticised my ginger tea and my cooking in general, claims stronger ties of friendship to my in-laws and hubby's friends than she actually has, bought the exact clothes, shades and other things from stores where I shop, to top it off, is boastful, manipulative and plays mind games!
2007-01-10 07:07:00 · 17 answers · asked by RealChic 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
All of this sounds petty but its exhausting to deal with on a weekly basis! I am at my wits end and find myself getting stressed even after a five minute conversation with her due to the games she plays. She recently took a trip to the exact place where we had been recently!
I mean this woman sounds seriously psycho. But I cant avoid her cause the husbands (there are five to six of them) are good friends and have been socialising for ten years... I cannot bear to take my loving (and very supportive) hubby from so many of his close pals, and all the great stuff we do together just because of this
one nutcase.
2007-01-10 07:07:18 · update #1
Ever watch Single White Female. She sounds just like the psycho chic that died. Maybe watching that will give you some satisfaction.
This woman is obviously deranged, and the sum of her issues does not equal petty. Unfortunately, about the best thing you can do is have fun with her. I've had women try to play mind games with me, and I'll let them have their fun because in the end, their craziness is always revealed. She is very envious of who you are and what you have. She will be the person in the restaurant who wants what someone else ordered. If you can avoid her, do so. Otherwise, smile and let her run her mouth. Eventually, she'll exhaust herself when she can't get a rise out of you.
2007-01-10 07:14:45 · answer #1 · answered by Angel Baby 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is a tough one. It's hard to know for sure but she must feel that you are taking some position that she feels she has held before you. Perhaps she has stronger feelings for your husband than is reasonable. I agree that taking him away from his friends is not desirable. It's not his fault and he shouldn't have to be punished for it. I think the best thing to do would be to tell your husband exactly what you have observed and how you are feeling. Maybe he doesn't realize and it would help for him to see some of it himself. He might even be able to say something to either the woman or her husband because of his close relationship to them, that you might not be able to say. Another thought is that he can maintain his relationship with them, but you try to avoid getting together when there are spouses included. Finally, if you ignore what she is doing and try never to let her know it is bothering you, I think eventually she will stop. She is trying to make you look bad and will start to pick up on it when SHE starts looking bad to everyone, for her behaviour. They'll see some of what you are seeing. She does sound very odd. I'm sorry you have to deal with someone like that. Just don't let it interfere between you and hubby.
2007-01-10 07:19:39 · answer #2 · answered by Debbie B 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The things people must experience all for the sake of a loving spouse get's to be a pain.
Well you could say atleast she isn't getting any sex from your husband, she can't duplicate the service you provide in that area, if she tries smack her a good one with a skillet.
She's definately a psycho, better keep an eye on your husband and keep her as far from him as you can.
2007-01-10 07:15:28 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Definately jealous of you and your ties to your husband. I think she must have a thing for him. Besides all of that, try to spend as little time as you can around her. Your husband can visit his friend, without you, on certain times and places...never, ever allow her to come to your home and bad mouth you. I am sure the other couples see HER problem and will tire of it in a hurry. Just remain the good, upstanding, confident woman you are and learn to ignore her remarks and sarcasm. She definately will chase friends away with her mouth on her own, so don't sink to her level and try and pit friend against friend, like I said, they can already see her jealousy and insane attitude.
2007-01-10 07:27:23 · answer #4 · answered by LaRae 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's good that you have your husband in mind so it shows your character. Unfortunately the world is full of women like her, I have plenty of them at my job and yes they make it hard for me sometimes. I feel like you have the strength and the confidence to go around this nutcase!! Don't allow her to get you to her level, all the copying and rude outbursts are clearly a sign of jealousy and she is lacking in her own self. If I were you I would just continue in your marriage and circle of friends by avoiding her when you can, and maybe she will just see what a fool she is making of herself. Hang in there.
2007-01-10 07:18:58 · answer #5 · answered by livlovelaugh 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sorry but if you don't feel you can stop socializing with this couple (though I don't know why you can't see 1- 2 other couples without including them every single time- you're not obligated to socialize in groups) then you'll just have to ignore her. If she is disrespectful in your home, you have to stop inviting her to your home. I really don't know why you need to include her. Your husband can socialize with her husband, and you and he can get together with some of the others, one couple at a time, rather than in 1 big group. It's your life.
2007-01-10 07:14:40 · answer #6 · answered by Violet Pearl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've got to confront her. Write out the specifics of what behaviour you do not like (so you're clear in your head) and tell her you will not accept her jealous behaviour anymore. Call her on anything she says that may be a lie but don't worry about the things she does to 'copy' you. Instead tell her what a compliment it is that she thins enough of your ideas to duplicate them!
2007-01-10 07:14:24 · answer #7 · answered by Turtleshell 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Much of this boils down to gossip.
The short and easy answer is to actively ignore the woman. And by "active," I mean do not respond even if she talks to you directly. Never again do anything to acknowledge her presence, even her existence. If she hits you, have her arrested for assault. Otherwise, act as if she does not exist.
You've already realized you aren't changing her mind; stop trying to.
2007-01-10 07:38:39 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I tell her to get a life, or get a restraining order on her she sounds like she has a few screws lose in that thick head of hers. From what you told she sounds like a freaking nut. So restraining order might work. Also get your husband to say something to her about it.
2007-01-10 07:12:54 · answer #9 · answered by Victoria B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this women sounds like my mother inlaw. Ya, I've had other women take my ideas and act like they came up with it. I just avoid them all. But for you this is much harder. It seems like your hubby wants to be around them and you need to tell him it's hurting your marriage
2007-01-10 07:13:58 · answer #10 · answered by Monet 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋