My husband and I got together 3 years ago. He told me that he couldn't stand when he was with his wife that she would rarely clean the house although she was a stay at home mom and he worked out of town most of the time. When he would come in from being gone he said there was only pathways from room to room to walk. He says she loves their 2 boys and they want to live with her but they just live in such crap. I thought he might be exagerating how bad she lives but I got to see it first hand when we went over to her house to pick his boys up for a visit. When I walked in her house the first thing that hit me was this strong over powering smell of cat pee and sh*t smell. It smelled like the cat box hadn't been taken out in months. The second thing was her house was a mess. Hubby was telling the truth about her. So knowing she does love the kids and they love her we haven't said anything about this. What should we do? We want her to keep her kids but we want their living enviroment clean.
2007-01-10 06:42:28 · 12 answers · asked by Lucinda M 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Part of being a good parent is providing a clean, healthy environment for your children. Love is just not enough.
Either sit down and talk to her, or arrange for a surprise visit from a social worker.
2007-01-10 06:51:27 · answer #1 · answered by Kiss My Shaz 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Answered other question first, didn't understand fully. Sorry. Seriously, that is just unhealthy. If she's keeping her house like that, how is she at taking care of the kids???? Could be some form of child neglect/abuse. If you are concerned about their health and well being, contact the state or whatever agency is over child welfare, and make a complaint. They will have to go over there. If it is indeed a problem, they will threaten to not let the kids stay there. If she really does love them, she will get her act together. -OH PLEASE- don't go do it yourself. You're not a doormat. Plus, she has to learn it and never will if someone is always there to do it for her.
Good luck to your family
2007-01-10 15:48:23 · answer #2 · answered by Get it Together 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well first of all how old is the boys, if they are old enough to help pick up then don't you think that would stop some of the clutter? If your husband and you are that worried about the environment they live in then why not teach the boys your selves to pick up after them selves?Maybe you should have a talk with her about this, I think that would be the adult thing to do, if you smell strong Odor's of cat pee and feces,that's not good for the boys no matter what their ages are. could make them very sick.
2007-01-10 14:58:28 · answer #3 · answered by sissy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay, here is my suggestion.......the boys should NOT be with her until things are cleaned up. First and foremost....with their being animals in the house...whether pee of feces....that can make the children sick, very sick. The children should be the main interest of everyone involved. I would NEVER,EVER pay for her house to be cleaned at all. You are only enabling her NOT helping her.So,she's not a clean freak or even motivated to do so. If you are and have a good relationship with her,maybe offer your help in showing her how to get orgainized. Alot of times,people who are slobs are motivated to be and stay clean once they see how easy it can be which is where the orgainization comes in. Everything should have a place as well as being easy and simple to KEEP/STAY organized.Check out the home made simple website for great tips.***if she is unable to keep up the animals,encourage her to adopt them out to loving familes who can and will take care of them properly***
2007-01-10 16:06:32 · answer #4 · answered by julibell_75 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All I can think of at the moment is for him to hire a cleaning lady for her who comes in once a week. He should not give the ex money for it but pay the lady himself .
First of course you have to talk to her and see if it is OK . Obviously she has done that all her life . She is not going to change because YOU guys suggest it . Those poor kids will grow up to be just like her . The pattern repeats itself .(In most cases); It is very unhealthy .
If she refuses to make an effort , and if it is really unbearable think about reporting it as a last resort of course . I still think the kids are better of with her, dirty or not.
Good Luck
2007-01-10 14:57:27 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some women just aren't motivated to keep a clean house. If you are sincere about keeping a good relationship with her and want to help her for the benefit of the children, why not hire a cleaning service for her? To keep her from getting all bent about it, just tell her that you both understand that having children is tiring and you want to ease her load a little.
2007-01-10 14:50:41 · answer #6 · answered by Royalhinney 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should not say anything to her because she might get offend if you tell her house is not clean. Your husband she talk to her and offer some kind of solution. Instead of criticize her your husband should do all he can to make sure his kids live in safe and clean home.
2007-01-10 14:59:59 · answer #7 · answered by Disha 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like she needs help. Both physical and psychological. As a physical help, it would be wise to invest in a maid - but what you're describing sounds psychologically dysfunctional more than anything else, perhaps she's clinically depressed, or has some other mental condition that is preventing her from reasonably managing herself and her environment. It sounds too extreme to result from simple laziness. I think she needs medical help.
2007-01-10 14:49:22 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She can't love her kids that much if little Bobby has to eat a PBJ sandwhich next to the the cat sh*t.
2007-01-10 14:52:50 · answer #9 · answered by Floss 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Express your concern to her. Offer to help her. Pay only once for a cleaning service to come clean it.
2007-01-10 14:52:11 · answer #10 · answered by Blu 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋