My friend wants me to cover for her while she cheats on hubby?

Question

I've known this woman since middle school. We are both married stay at home moms with young children. Our kids love each other, and we get together weekly for play dates.

She has become very interested in "dating" men behind her husbands back. All of a sudden she's acting like a horny teenage boy! Gone are the talks about child rearing or quick dinner recipes, she's all about sex now. Wanting to have sex, wishing she culd have sex with so and so, and telling me about all these men she's seeing.

She wants me to cover for her when she's with other men, which I will not do. If asked if she was with us, I will tell her husband the truth. She has already told her husband she was with me and my family when she was out with other men. This makes me very uncomfortable.

Considering our kids love each other and get along very well, should I continue the friendship?? Or is it too much?? It's getting weirder by the minute.

Answer 1

Don't let anyone get in the way of your morals. If you feel that you shouldn't lie for her, then don't. If it causes the friendship to be lost, then so be it. It will be hard for awhile, for you and the kids, but in the end you will know that you did the right thing. Her even asking you to lie about something that big is wrong, if she wants to cheat on her husband she needs to find an excuse that does not involve other people. What she needs you to do is to tell her how wrong she is and that if she no longer wants to be in a marriage she should get out. There is no excuse for adultry. If she is having marital problems, she should either work them out or leave the marriage. I think you are absolutely doing the right thing by not helping her out. Lies create nothing but more trouble, they always have a way of surfacing.

Answer 2

If it makes you feel uncomfy, definitely don't do it. I did this for a friend once and felt totally guilty about it. I mean, if I were her hubby (who was a very good man, too) then I would want to know.

Then this past summer I had a friend who just told her hubby she was with me but didn't let ME know. Well, I called over there one day looking for her and her hubby said, "She said she was going out with YOU..." Well, that blew her whole game. I told her never to use me as an excuse to her husband again because it wasn't right. She wasn't cheating on him with one guy, but what she was doing is hanging out at the bar, getting drunk and hanging all over a bunch of guys all the time. Still wrong, just my opinion....because she was prancing around acting like she was single and giving other men the wrong idea.

Ironically enough, I am no longer good friends with either of these two women. We just don't talk any more.

Answer 3

Point blank to her face - tell her NO. You will not be a party to that type of activity, period.

Then have her do some research on the rising cases of STD's.

65 million people in the U.S. have incurable STDs
— At least 1 in 4 Americans will contract an STD in their lifetime
— Teenagers make up one-fourth of all new STD infections
— Herpes is the most common STD in the U.S., affecting 45 million people
— Hepatitis A and Hepatitis B are the only vaccine treatable STDs

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/7268133/

http://www.cdc.gov/STD/

What if she gets preggers by the husband or boyfriend and she has contracted a disease that may affect the baby...what then?

http://www.cdc.gov/std/STDFact-STDs&Pregnancy.htm

Then ask her when her husband kicks her to the curb if the boyfriend will support her and the kids.

Not to mention the pervs she might meet that could jeopardize her safety and that of her children. What if one of them gets out of control and starts stalking or they're together partying and end up driving drunk and having an accident? Really, she's not worth the trouble for you to get involved with. She needs to wake up.

Answer 4

the best friends advice each other.. u are response if she did wrong... i men God sent u to her like an angel to show her the right road.. don't let her cheat her husband because maybe she will get pregnant and she will divorce.. as i see she have allot of free time that she spending time with men.. she is old enough to be aware that she must to care to her children and her husband more than the other guys.. and she must to tell her husband she want sex with him instead sex with others.. and maybe she will have HIV and she will kill herself.. so u must to aware her and she will listen to u even she refuse but u must tell her that u are your sis.. plz save her whole family from lies.
and if u feel guilty when u are telling a lie, just tell her husband take care of your wife and u just laugh that u are joking and then he will realize ok..

Answer 5

Eh... Id tell her to stop being such a SLU* and that she shouldnt be out whoring around with other men and lying to her husband through you. Its not your job to give her a cover story, and its not right to lie to her husband like this. Id call and tell her husband honestly. If she isnt that great of a friend, her husband has every right to know what is going on. Good luck

Answer 6

I wouldn't ask my friends to do anything that I wouldn't do for them. I certainly wouldn't feel comfortable asking my friends to go against their morals for my benefit. I would just out right tell her that you do not condone this and really don't want to be a part of it. If she is gonna cheat on her husband let it be all her.

Answer 7

She doesn't sound like the kind of friend your family needs. Do you really want your children exposed to this person?

Answer 8

tell your friend that you don't feel comfortable doing this for her but she will continue to do it and say that she was with you unless you tell her something. Just let her know that you don't like it and to find another excuse.

Answer 9

just do it let her have her kicks then she can do it for you