I have a personal issue that has plagued me in all my relationships in the past. I have been married for almost 4 years now. I love my husband to no end. He is now away form job training for 10 months, and he will be home on the weekends. I was raised in a home with a somewhat unfaithful father. Every time we would go out of town, my dad, who was with us, would head out to the strip club when we went to bed. Now, if my dad ever goes out of town without my mom, he is basically, from what I hear from people who have gone with him, the ringleader in their strip club excursions. My mom once caught my dad with his hands on his secretaries rear, and when I was in high school, there were always rumors about my dad's infidelity. I even heard my dad proposition one of my mom's friends. I do not trust men whatsoever. I don't think my husband has ever cheated, but there was a girl who I know gave him a gift (I found it) when we were having problems. What can I do to get over this?
2007-01-10 06:37:36 · 5 answers · asked by Lady in Red 4 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
try to dissociate your father from your husband. they are different people, the present is not the past, you are an adult not a child with a wandering dad and it is unfair on your husband. if logically you cannot work this out, do seek a professional. do not worry, it is not a serious problem
2007-01-10 06:58:37 · answer #1 · answered by mlabhand 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Listen.... not all men are pigs like your dad (sorry but infidelity is gross). While I can understand your insecurities, you really need to get over them. If you were your the wife of a cheater, then yeah, feel some pain, be confused, get angry but still move on. I have never been one to let other people's actions effect ME. They have to live with their, for example, infidelity, not me. I have had two previous relationships fail because of infidelity and walked away from both. Too bad... so sad, I said to them. My self worth is NOT determined by how others chose to live but rather how I chose to live my life.
Get over it................ life is too short!
mb
2007-01-10 06:47:03 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Therapy with a good counselor can help you get in touch with your true instincts vs. your learned paranoia. It's also very important that you communicate with your husband just how serious an issue it would be for you if he cheated.
2007-01-10 06:43:09 · answer #3 · answered by Zebra4 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You should absolutely trust your husband until he gives you a reason not to. If you don't trust him, why are you still married?
2007-01-10 06:42:44 · answer #4 · answered by Roberta 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Trust him and pray for both of you. All men are different.
2007-01-10 06:43:14 · answer #5 · answered by tewarienormy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋