What's his problem?

Question

My married friend is having marital problems. She comes to me for help so what can I tell her.
This guy who's supposedly her friend calls her and intentionally tries to make her husband look bad by telling her stuff he's done and bringing up all his faults and drinking problems.Then the guy seems to lead her on and try to hang out with her all the time.I told her that it sounds like he's trying to break them up for some reason. I also told her that he is trying to make himself look like he's emotionally there for her by bringing up her husband so she'll talk about their probs with him and become angry with her husband in the process. She think he's a good friend, but I think something weird is going on.Why is he demoralizing her husband? Why is it so important to make himself look like some hero for telling on him and being there for her? What do you think? What should I tell her?

Answer 1

Well speaking not only from the view of a man but out of experience, it seems to me that your friend "friend" is upset with her husband for several reasons...The first reason that strikes me is that he probably has liked your friend for sometime and is really hurt that she's not with him, so in contrast he is playing the" I'm there for you mode" i noticed you said he would just ask or propose question about husband just so she can reveal her emotional side, and or open emotionally so it makes him seem more admirable...The fact of the matter is he wants more than her friendship, and you have to be very careful how you tend to this matter because if he gets in emotionally he could get her to think that your jealous of her ( that she has the attention of another man and your mad it's happening to you) If you would like to know my suggestion if i were you i would try talking to her again, explain how you feel and what you see in regards of the situation, and let oh homeboy comprehend that your her friend...Just make your presence known around him, it may cause him to shy away if you do that...

Answer 2

Tell her it looks suspicious to be so chummy with with a male friend when she is married. People will think she's skum and it could affect her whole life and how others perceive and treat her. Point out that she is being manipulated and give her specific examples of this. Tell her she is already being unfaithful to her husband by becoming emotionally involved with a man other than her spouse. If she is having problems at home, she needs to talk to her husband first and not be sharing details of her personal married life with another man. If she wants out of her marriage, she would be stupid to get out by having an affair, then she could lose serious ground and end up with far less in divorce proceedings, not to mention her own personal moral disgrace.

Answer 3

Your friend's guy-friend should not be coming on to a married woman, this is true. But, if your friend's husband does have a drinking problem (or any problem that could hurt their marriage for that matter), the other guy may be honeslty concerned for your friend. My mother has a guy-friend who does have a crush on her and calls her all the time to check up on her and make sure she's okay (she had a mini-stroke last May). My father doesn't like this and told her to tell him to never call my parents' house again. The other guy could be harmless in this case. Make sure your friend knows the difference between a good friend's shoulder to cry on and a manipulative person who just wants you to cry.

Answer 4

I think she needs to drop any friend who talks so badly of her HUSBAND! TILL DEATH DO US PART doesnt mean let your friends talk smack about your spouse. I know if I had friends who were always saying bad things about my husband, I'd drop them in a heart beat. That is ridiculous and I think she is totally at fault for still hanging out with this jerk. YES, it does sound like he is trying to break them up, and I bet he is. I think you should tell her that she needs to straighten up, and not let people say mean things about her man. She needs to grow up a little bit and stop being so nieve.

Answer 5

he's definitely trying to break them up for no reason. tell her to stop talking to him. how would she feel if she found out that some chick was calling her husband and telling him all the bad stuff about her? she shouldn't dwell on her hubby's faults, nor her own. this other guy is causing problems and he's no good.

Answer 6

To drop the guy who is calling her at once and work on her marriage, but to be honest, this is really up to her, she has to WANT this herself, and no relationship/marriage is perfect. So if something is bothering her about her husband she should talk with him directly.

Answer 7

The male friend seems to be interested in her. I don't know about any of her marital problems, but this guy isn't helping her very much.

Answer 8

tell her the more the guy tries to talk rubbish bout her husband..to go home and make that much harder love to her husband..and describe what a beautiful session she and her husband had to that friend !!
it'l work and kick that creep of a friend out of her life ~ out out out~

Answer 9

Tell her that if she values her marriage, then she needs to stop communicating with the other guy. Sounds like the other guy has underlying intentions.

Answer 10

Tell her to stop listening to this guy. How much does she love her husband, she should be defending him. If she keeps listening to all that crap, it will slowly eat away at her until she leaves.