How would you feel if you mate started smoking?

Question

I have known my husband for 12 years and all of a sudden he has started smoking cigars. He doesn't do it at home, around me, or the kids. Am I overreacting? The thought of this makes me sick to my stomach.

He said that it calms his nerves.

I tried talking to him. He said it wasn't a big deal.

Answer 1

I can understand why you are sick over this.I'm a hell of a bad one to preach about this problem because I'am a heavy smoker.Perhaps he can read what I have to say about the subject.I'am an older man that started smoking at 13 years old the biggest mistake I EVER made.I have had 2 heart attacks 2 strokes and emphysema that has turned into cancer.My best Advice to you is to tell him# 1 it stinks #2 you can't stand it#3 ask him to please Quit before it harms his health #4 tell him about the times that I have burned the my bed the dinning room table the Sofa the reclining chair a hole in the seat of my Elect wheel chair #4
The most important of all that you and your children are sickened over it ,that you love him way to much to watch him kill himself with something so foolish.If you have to beg beg beg him to stop.

Answer 2

I could understand where you could be upset if you went through the battle of quitting smoking together and now he has decided all of a sudden to start smoking cigars. Otherwise, I don't see the problem. If the smell on his breath is what bothers you ask him to brush his teeth when he comes home. Talk to him more about it. Explain how you feel.

Answer 3

From what I have observed, smoking cigars is often a "social" thing. Does he smoke them at social functions or something? Or just for himself? I wouldn't be too concerned if it was a once-in-a-while indulgence. I totally hate smoking, and would never marry a smoker; my husband doesn't smoke (hell, he doesn't even drink!) - but he smokes cigars at social events a few times a year.

Answer 4

Lots of men develop a taste for cigars eventually. It is kind of a "status" thing that signals (mostly to other men) that they are successful at this point in life. A good cigar is an awesome thing. I've been known to smoke one myself!

Answer 5

I mean I wouldn't like it but at the same time I wouldn't make a huge deal about it. He could have picked up another bad habit (i.e. smoking, snorting or shooting drugs). I think it's actually respectable of him to do it when you are the kids aren't around. I would say don't worry about it.

Answer 6

Somebody showed it to him. Lots of men start cigars later in life. It's a social thing.
Beats me though. I can't stand them. He brings the smell home, though.

I don't think you are outside of your rights to bar that, because you have to put up with the smell and health problems of his down the road.

I would say put your foot down. I did over my wife not properly quitting years ago.

Answer 7

Unless he is under the age of 18 nothing you can do, he is an adult. Being your married you do have the right to talk to him about it though. Tell him how it makes you feel and if your worried about his health, let him know. Don't nag or down-grade him, for one he is not doing it around you or the kids or in your presence even.

Answer 8

I'd freak out, I mean, no one just starts smoking.. there's gotta be some fire around or something.

Answer 9

he could have been smoking pot.
maybe he feels it makes him more likeable with the corporate people. networking better? have you asked him why he started? possible clients that hang out in smoking bars?

Answer 10

it would freak me out . my husband started chewing tobacco after we got married. it was a total turnoff. he has since quit after a lot of preaching about how dangerous to his health it is.