i am in the miltary and just had a baby is four months old to soon to be away from your baby for a year?

Answer 1

I completely understand where you are coming from. When my firstborn was less 5 1/2 months I left for Iraq and did not come home (except for leave) until she was 17 months. It was the longest and one of the hardest things I have even had to do. While I missed my daughter I did know that she was well cared for and the biggest thing I was afraid of was that she would forget me. When I came home she payed me no mind. That was very difficult for me. After about a month though you couldn't get her off me. She is almost 4 now and she is still a Mama's girl. She would rather be with me than anyone else (even those who cared for her while I was away). And if you ask her who she loves the most she will say her Mommy. My father was gone much of my childhood and I am NOTHING but proud of him for protecting the freedom and country that I love. I hope that one day she will understand why Mommy left her and appreciate what the soldiers that fight our wars give up for her and others like her. I am very proud of myself and I now have a 7 month old son. I cherish every minute with him because of all that I missed with her. But I know that one day they will understand, when they see the pictures of me over there and know the good things that I did, they will understand. God bless America and thank you for your service.

Answer 2

I was in the military for 7 1/2 years. I had two children while stationed in Colorado, then I got sent back to Germany for another tour. Once there, they wanted me to go to Bosnia(I think) for some peace time mission. My younger daughter was only 7 or 8 months old at the time. I looked at them and told them that as much as I love the ARMY, I love my children more and I decided to get out. Every person is different, some women can leave their children, and there is nothing wrong with that. You have to make that decision on your own. Do you want to come home in a year and your baby not know who you are? Can you handle that? People can show pictures of you to the baby all the time and tell them that is mommy, but do you really think that when you return you will get a big hug and kiss? I doubt it, that child will look at you as if you were any other stranger. You have to be a very strong woman to leave a child that young. Search deep within yourself and find the answer.

Answer 3

That is too personal of a choice for each woman. Sometimes you just have to try to see how it goes. If there are questions about it then I would rather error on the side of safety than not. For myself, I went back to work at a nursing home after 8 weeks. I was misserable for 8 months and then decided to quit and stay home. It was the best choice for us. Now he is almost 2 yrs and more ready for me to go back to work. I never would have thought that I would prefer to be a stay at home mom untill it was time to make that decision. I wouldn't have missed a single moment. Good luck in making your decision. Remember, you have to do what seems right for you and your baby, not what seems right to everyone else. God Bless.

Answer 4

Yes, I do think it's way too early! On the other hand, in a year your baby won't recognize you anyway!

I am talking from my own perpective, though, and I don't know your circumstances, but I quit my job to spend the first year with my baby! It's tough not having my income in the family, but in the long run, when you think about building the foundation for your baby's future development, I think, it was a good decision for us! I would not have changed it for the world!

Answer 5

Absolutely (in my oppinion)...This is the time in their lives when they are being shaped. Several years down the line they might not even remember this, however when you return your child probably won't even remember you. They need their mothers at this point...especially if you want to be an important an strong figure in their lives/minds. I wouldn't suggest leaving your child for that long until your child is closer to two...It might still have a negative effect on you and your child's relationship...However, at least this way you have made in impression in your childs life.

I can tell you My daughter is two and her dad was absent from her life for 3 weeks and while she still loves him, misses him, and asks for him...She does not have the same connection with him. She doesn't want to be left alone with him as long and she needs me to comfort her.

I don't know what to suggest...I can understand a demanding career however...However your family is number one. If your child has a strong father figure then the transition wouldn't be quite as hard.

Answer 6

I could never be away from my baby, no matter what age, but not everyone has the luxery of a job that they can take time off, or even stay at home. You have to do what you have to do, right? I work shift work and that is hard enough, so I wish you the best.

Answer 7

In my opinion, yes. At four months your child needs you, and if you are going to be away from your child for any long length of time your child will forget who you are, it's a proven fact. Your child will bond with whomever is their primary care giver and you will have to re-bond with them, which is not an easy task. Your child needs you to be with them, to care for them, until they are at least age 5, and even after that being gone for a long time, such as a deployment, will hinder your relationship with that child. If I were you, and I know I am not, I would consider this very carefully and do what you can to stay with your child.

Answer 8

I think any age is too young to be away from your baby for that length of time. But since your in the military you really have no choice if they are deploying you.
My husband is navy and he is going to miss the next 7mths of our daughters life and there isnt much we can do about it.

Answer 9

Only you can decide that. Women do it. I couldn't, that is why my husband is military and I stay at home. If you are dual military, you have the option of getting out (maybe). Its something only you can decide. Think about it really hard before comming to any decision. This choice will be an important one for your life and your child's.

Answer 10

That would be a personal decision. For me that would be way too early. I've never been away from either of my kids for more than a couple of days and they are 10 and 14.