if your wife cheated on you for a long time, and you got your chance to cheat one her, just to see how it feels, would it be considered cheating. Please analyze before answering, since even my pastor told me that right the moment she broke our vows we are not married under the eyes of God any more...and i'm just ASKING, not doing it.
2007-01-10 05:46:27 · 28 answers · asked by MICHAEL G 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You are married until you get a divorce. 2 wrongs don't make a right. Adultery is not right for EITHER person, and your pastor is incorrect. and misguided. NOWHERE does it say that breaking vows makes you not married.
2007-01-10 05:53:30 · answer #1 · answered by justbeingher 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well, let's first discuss what a marriage even is.... for sure it is respect, admiration, passion, and trust. The trust from you to her is gone--- she shared her body and soul with another man, and for sure the rest of it ----respect and admiration--- you have for her is also in the toilet. You really don't have a marriage, hon, you have a female roommate and occasional boinking buddy... That, is hardly a marriage. You say she has been doing this a long time.. My question is why are you still with her?????? any counselor will tell you that it is at least two years to repair a marriage after betrayal, and that is with no guarantee. Marriages are kindnesses, lots of lovies, spending time together, communication, and solving problems without rage, agreeing how to spend extra time and money, doing little things for the other, dinners with friends, movies, symphony, concerts, walks in the park, shared hobbies, and as well ones that each of you do separately.... and for sure, sexual exclusiveness.... Where is your relationship on this map? It isn't. It isn't even in the same room where the map is!!!!!! And to "get back at her" and "let her know how it feels" just isn't healthy in a marriage. Should you do this? Hell no. Get a divorce and rid yourself of her, not lower yourself to her level. She has betrayed you.... betrayal is the only real deal buster in a marriage. You don't have a marriage, so end it legally so that you can find a lady worthy of your love and trust. You deserve a faithful wife, a wife deserves a faithful husband--- you aren't a husband, and she is not a wife.... YOu are still married -- your pastor is wrong.... marriage is a civil contract, as well as a religious one. The civil one is more important in the eyes of the state, and the law. So, legally end it.
2007-01-10 14:04:39 · answer #2 · answered by April 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes is still cheating. Your pastor gave his opinion. For if you forgive her and she asked forgiveness than God has forgiven and ya'll will still be married. Only you can divorce her in the eyes of God not some tradition or law that a pastor follows. If tell God you don't want her as your wife and divorce her, then are ya'll divorced. But until then you are still married. Besides why do what she did just cause she did it first. What kind of person would that make you? Two wrongs don't make a right.
2007-01-10 13:58:42 · answer #3 · answered by Ydua R 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I can say that if your wife cheated on you, its against your marriage and against what God would want. Doing the same thing as her would be cheating also. I am a little confused about what your pastor said that you are no longer married in the eyes of God. As far as I know you are married until death. Cheating is adultery, a serious sin, but not the end of the marriage, although I am not a priest so don't quote me on that.
2007-01-11 21:11:21 · answer #4 · answered by Dragon 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I just have one question, can you tell me where I can find in the bible where it states " that if a person breaks the marital vow, that he does not see them as married any longer". If a spouse falls or leaps into an affair the other person can forgive and restore the other person(if restoration is possible) or and give that person a written paper of divorce. And the only reason that God allow the written paper of divorce is because the hardness of man heart. God 's desires is that if this is to happen the with forgiveness of the sin that restoration takes place.
No what happens a lot is that people take out of context the scripture Exodus21:24 that says "an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth". Which people interpret as " I do to you what you do to me" But that is a GROSS misinterpret of the script. Instead of looking to repay the spouse back who committed adultery try looking up the scriptures and deal with forgiveness. And the sin (adultery) is snot against you(per say), but the sin is really against God.
Trust me it works, because I went through it by having to forgive me husband not once but twice and he went to jail for 5 years over the other woman. though I struggled with forgiving him,and I realized, it was not for him as much as it was for ME.
2007-01-10 15:37:25 · answer #5 · answered by TBobb 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I'm sure your pastor also told you 2 wrongs don't make a right. I'm sure your pastor also preaches against premarital sex as well, which is what you would be doing if you did it, seeing how you don't count you and your wife as married. In fact if your pastor says you and your wife are no longer married in Gods eyes then your having premarital sex with your wife as well. Gesh guess someone here needs to do some praying.
2007-01-10 13:56:53 · answer #6 · answered by Lucinda M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If my wife cheating on me i would end this marriage and i would never do something to cheat on her after she did to me. that pay back.. I won't be doing that.
That something new for me to know what pastor said and I am not the church guy but i can see what you mean. My wife and I haven't been cheating which is good thing. I told my wife if something going on between us and I would tell you let get help and then if not then I would end it better than cheating.
2007-01-10 16:33:31 · answer #7 · answered by greenbaypackers1920 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Even if she broke the vows you two are still married, she committed the sin which means the marriage is no more. But for you to do it or think about doing it only makes you look just as bad as she does. Don't follow the sinner. Rid yourself of the mess, focus on you, get your life in order, do something good for yourself or someone else and just get you together.
2007-01-10 14:05:53 · answer #8 · answered by uneekqamar2004 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, I am truly sorry for what your wife has done to your relationship. Infidelity is a hard thing to swallow and an even harder thing to move pass. My only hope is that you are able to trust your wife once again--married or not--and be able to move on with your life in peace.
As far as your question is concerned, I would still consider it cheating. Though it is safe to say that what your wife did is wrong, it is also safe to say that you committing the same act is not only as equally wrong, but it would definitely not make the situation any better. Fight fire with fire? Absolutely not!
2007-01-10 13:54:46 · answer #9 · answered by monogamyisgolden 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
cheating is cheating - you know the old saying "two wrongs don't make a right" - and what the heck kind of pastor to you have? Marriage vows are forever - whether one cheats or not! Are you trying to reconcile? If so, don't cheat - if not - at least wait til the divorce is final!!
2007-01-10 13:53:04 · answer #10 · answered by wild_orchid_tx36 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
it is cheating, dude. You've been straight up to now and you need to have a serious talk with her. Either she loves you or she doesn't. If the relationship doesn't work out, that's it. There's no need to try and make her wrong now by cheating on her. That would be lowering yourself to her level and believe me, it won't help you at all. It will just make you feel bad towards her and ruin things further. TALK TO HER! You are supposed to be a married couple and us husbands and wives speak to eachother and resolve differences as needed. Your marriage depends on your ability to communicate and keep it clean. P.S. I agree that you should find a new pastor as one who advises you to cheat on your wife is kinda weird...
2007-01-10 16:35:57 · answer #11 · answered by El Niño G 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋