Can I ask a question to all people over 30?

Question

All these doubts, uncertainties about life, what to do in the future in matter of career, will we find someone who loves and understand us, what's the meaning of life, and all those individual questions about life and the world that people say is normal in your early twenties... - Does it gets better as you get more mature, do you became more at peace with your life and with yourself and the surrounding world and find happiness
or it's more or less the same feelings all along your path in life but as the years pass you learn to deal more effectively with them, and learn to look more calmly to doubts and all the uncertainty about life?

I'm not depressed or anything, I'm just curious if it's common feelings all through your life or if it's just common of going through the twenties.

Answer 1

I think it does for some people. What actually happens is you get more skilled at dealing with issues in your life, so they don't have the huge bewildering aspect that they do when you're younger. Don't get me wrong, huge questions will be with you your whole life. That is good news. A famous quote is, "an unexamined life is not worth living" and I believe that is true. Some people just give up. Get into the grindstone of work, don't continue to educate themselves, make new friends, settle into a relationship that is comfortable if not fulfilling, and become full of regrets, "what ifs" and bitterness. To learn to accept, even welcome, the questions in your life is part of the process. Huge questions should be welcomed with open arms and a happy spirit. This is the challenge that has been given to you to solve in your life, and that is terrific. Another saying that I like is, "it's not the destination, it's the journey that matters." And learning to either accept that journey with joy and a sense of wonder, or to become bored and embittered with life is a choice you get to make along the way. I wish you a journey filled with wonder and I hope your life is never free from the big questions. It's called being alive.

Answer 2

I will be 39 in a few days, and I was never realy at peace until after I turned 30. I don't know if it is a magical age or what. I married too young the first time, but had three beautiful children. I have been remarried for 6 years and am very happy. Life's problems don't just go away. I have just learned from my past that not everything is in my control. I learned new ways to deal with things. I do feel more mature in many ways, but I also still feel like a teenager at heart.

I have changed jobs many times, because I like to try different things. I have been a dental assistant, an office manager, a buyer for a large food distributor, a customer service rep, and I have even torn down transmissions. I recently took a class to learn how to draw blood, because I wanted to learn in case I ever want to go to nursing school. Once my youngest graduates from college, my husband and I are thinking of joining the Peace Corp. I have found that I do not like Corporate America, and I am very content with what I do now. Make sure whatever career you choose, it is something you like. Life is too short to settle for something you don't really want.

My husband on the other hand figured it out a long time ago. He is the most stable person I know. We are the same age and he has been at the same job for over 12 years.

My life is not perfect and I am okay with that. I am happy and that is all that matters. Don't sweat the small stuff - most things will work out just like they need to. I may never find out what my "purpose" in life is, but I am having a good time trying to figure it out. I am almost 39 and I still don't know what I want to do when I grow up. LOL

Answer 3

Ah! yes, the meaning of life. everyone while have their interpretations. I'll tell you the meaning of life. The meaning of life is to be happy! There! plain and simple. You will go thru life doing what you desire the most. always looking for the things that make you happy. You will go to the show with your friends to see a movie that makes you happy, you will take friends not that will bore the pants off of you or make fun of or belittle you! You will go with friends that make you happy. The clothe you shop for and are proud of wearing are the ones that will do just that, make you happy. you will persue an education in a field that will be rewarding to you, you know, Make you happy! and you will meet someone someday and many along the way that will make you happy!. You will find that making such a person happy, will bring you more happines. And should the day come that you decide to have your own family they too will make you happy. and at the end when you have done all that, and can look back at your life with the biggest smile and say "I've done it all and If I had to do it again, I wouldn't change a thing" Then you will be truley happy. Ok now for all the other stuff. Life of course has it's downs also. As you age and mature, and become more refined, you are able to handle life problems with a more clear mind. Most problems to young adults just venturing out seem like the sky is falling. Looking back on those times always brought a chuckle out of me cause I just couldn't believe I was so worried about them back then. All of life of course is uncertain. Are you sure you're going to be ok tomorrow? Is anybody sure? Not really. All we can do is our best with what we have right now. And the best I can do right now is to be happy. :) R.TORRES

Answer 4

I can only answer from my own experience - I can't generalize or speak for anyone else or give you a general calming statement about how your life will come out - that will depend on you.

One gernal thing that I can say is this - the older I get - the more I realize that I don't know everything. When I was young - no one could tell me anything - I had it all figured out I was right - well now I know that is just not true. I know more facts than I knew when I was young, but I am less confident about my beliefs about my own nature of life/death/friendship/love/hate and am more unsure about things that ever.

I think as people get older they are able to deal with stessful situations better - due to pure repetition of the behavior.

We have been through it so many times it becomes second nature. It still hurt, we just deal with it better, and appear more calm on the outside - we have learned through experience that certain behaviors don't do any good, so we don't display them - going into hysterics, ranting/raving, uncontrolled rage - well some of us anyway. I guess that's the maturity you're speaking about.

Answer 5

You have beautifully expressed the very normal feelings for someone in their early adulthood.

Yes, it usually does get much better. The people who stay stuck in these feelings are people who don't question, don't grow, or get trapped in addictions.

Some of the questions you have raised are questions that people grapple with all their lives, but usually in an enriching, seeking way rather than in a confused, scared way.

As you understand your own self better, especially if you do so with integrity and honesty, many things will fall into place over time. However, if you come from a background of abuse or serious dysfunction, some time with a therapist can be very helpful.

Early adulthood is a vulnerable time, and there are some people who exploit that vulnerability. Therefore, it is important to remember that easy answers are not usually the best answers. Get reality checks from people you know, trust, and respect. Use your head and your heart in combination. Trust your gut feelings.

I have found that although physical health declines with age, mental health, perspective, and wisdom come with experience and maturity.

Though there are many things you cannot control, you do have power in your inner life and attitudes, and there is some choice in external factors. You can have much influence in creating your life and its meaning.

You are on the right track. Be honest, try to do the right thing in any given situation, pay attention to others and what is going on, observe, and choose wisely. You will have many experiences and opportunities. We all evolve. Some more than others, but that will be up to you.

My best wishes to you for a meaningful and rewarding path.

Answer 6

I'm fifty now, and I can unequivocally say that the things that you worry about when you are fifty are very different from the things that bother you when you are in your twenties.

Career? Well, I have to say that the perspective of time plus the deaths of two family members (mother and brother) and deaths of several colleagues and friends have led me to conclude that work-related issues are nowhere near as important as the people you care about. Which means that a lot of the career-track, promotion and earnings issues that chafed me when I was twenty aren't even on the radar screen now.

Someone who loves and understands us? At 50, I understand that I am the only person who is responsible for my happiness. That means that whether I am partnered or not, my outlook on how happy I am and whether I am understood, appreciated, or loved is wholly my own, completely independent of anyone else. I know that I have to understand this, because having seen people close to me die, I understand from a gut level that anyone close to us can be taken from us at any time.

Meaning of life? The older I get, the more humility I get about this, because the more I learn, the more I see that there is to learn and that life is an infinitely large and wondrous thing. And I accept that I am not charged with defining it or understanding it's meaningfulness, just accepting it as a gift and letting that acceptance allow me to enjoy it.

Paradoxically, having gotten to the point in my life where death is no longer an abstract concept but something that has taken people my age and younger, I find that one of the focuses of my thoughts is coping with the end of life and coming to peace with that.

I don't know that I have any more answers to things than I had when I was in my twenties, but I do know that I'm better able to be at peace with the fact that I don't have answers to everything, and to accept that even if things don't go the way I planned them, they still can turn out pretty well and be okay. And maybe that's all that's necessary from me and for me.

Answer 7

Life is indeed what you make of it. For me it only got better as I aged. I'm 57 (soon to be 58) and would not go back to being 20 something again even if I had the chance. As you mature you begin to realize what is important and what is not. Life is meant to be lived and not analyzed. In our youth we spend soooo much time worrying about stuff that means so little. I've learned that everybody goes through the same worries about life and all it's meanings, but then you realize life is just living one day at a time. You can make plans for tomorrow but tomorrow may never come. Live for today. Don't worry about what might happen tomorrow because if you do how can you enjoy "right now"? You'll see.

Answer 8

My out look is you have to take each day at a time.At each decade there will problems some harder than others. You have to face life head on no matter what age you are. Life isnt a bed of roses and dont let anyone tell you any different. Sure somedays are better than others. I will be 55 this June and i can assure you i wouldnt want to go back to being 20 again. I have gained of lot of maturity since then .. I never , ever regretted having another birthday. What's the use in fretting over something you dont have a control over.

Answer 9

I am 39 y.o. I am Mexican and male.

When you are over 30, not all the fears and uncertainties of life are resolved. We may feel the same concern about the expectancies in future than a 20 y.o.

In my country specially we have to add the economical factor. More unemployed people, lower wages but more hard work all the time.

I know (for references from friends living in U.S. for example) that in developed countries worries are concentrated more in emotional issues (the sense of solitude all the time, finding the right person to live with the rest of your life, sense of sucess in workplace, etc.) than in basic ones, a quite different situation we see over here where additional to the emotional issues you have to think all the time if you have enough money to keep your children and wife, the insecurity in streets due to higher violent living in the cities, etc...

On the other hand, what I think is that it is wonderful that the more you really grow, the more you realize that destiny is in your hands. Maturity in all situations coming from your experiences (good or bad) helps you to take better decisions and assume the responsibility to do it.

One fear (in my case) is passing by this world without leaving my mark. The need of being recognized by future generations or my descendants as you have had a valuable life. Time goes faster and faster in our current world and I feel that if I do not hurry up I will miss the oportunities for reaching that goal.

Saludos desde México! (Greetings from Mexico!)

Answer 10

Some things you learn to deal with more efectively with , some not. Depends on the person.
Really depends on the person and persons expectations and the support group one has. Sometimes Compromises are needed, sometimes being uncompromising works. Definitely an attitude of any day above ground is a good has a plus side. And never give in, and always persist no matter what ... don't accept any alternative to what you aim for, but be open enough to see a chance when it comes by... you never know what can happen after all " Life is what happens to you whilst you are busy making other plans".