I love my husband, but feel like something is missing. I think about seeing other people, but do not want to end my marriage. I don't know what's wrong with me. I have it all. Great husband, nice house, great kids and a job I love. Boredom doesn't quite describe it. Out sex life is good but I can't help wondering what it would be like with someone else.
2007-01-10 05:22:54 · 21 answers · asked by content26 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The grass is not greener on the other side. I know a few other women in long term marriages that think the same. Having been married for over 11 years then having to go out in the dating world. after being divorced..it really sucked!
If your marriage is great, don't chance it. You are looking for that "newness" or sexual bliss from having sex with someone you do not know. It's a great feeling but very quickly dies out and you will be left divorced, sad and possibly with some STD. Don't chance ruining a good thing.
2007-01-10 05:39:36 · answer #1 · answered by mvas800 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You need to keep your hormones and emotions on check. Going outside the marriage could not only destroy you, but also your marriage and your family. If you know you have a great man and a pretty good life, then keep it that way. See a counselor or even a doctor. You may be going through some hormonal changes and you need to get checked out. Above all, don't do something you will later regret. The grass is NEVER greener on the other side. Stay true to your commitment and your vows. If you feel you're missing something in your marriage, then talk to your husband or go to couples counseling. Again, going outside the marriage is never the right answer. Hope you make the right decision. Good luck!
2007-01-10 13:33:13 · answer #2 · answered by jazz_lover_25 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't tell you husband. More than likely nothing he can say is going to change how you feel and it will probably crush him. It sound like you have an ideal life and that is pretty rare.
I was married for 10 years when this feeling hit me. My feelings stemmed from curiosity, not boredom. When I found out my (ex) husband was cheating, I saw this as an opportunity to retaliate. I did and even to this day (15 years later) I regret it. He never found out but I had to live with the fact that I cheated, even though he did it first. It was not worth it.
Find something to keep you busy. Start running, volunteer at your kids school, go back to school, just do something that will keep you from cheating. Good luck!
2007-01-10 13:35:45 · answer #3 · answered by katydid 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no one or thing that will MAKE anyone happy.
Happiness is the result of choosing to see the good in things.
No one can make you see the beauty in a sun rise, but you can make the decision to get up early to see it. I almost was hit by a car (I was really lucky OR that get was a real stupid SOB). Its kind of amazing how focusing on the positive changes one's mood.
You have a "Great Husband", "Nice House", "Great Kids", "Job you love". Are these the things you are willing to risk losing?
Great Husband into Upset Husband into Ex-Husband
Nice House into an emotional war zone into sold property into an okay smaller place or apartment
Great Kids into upset kids into what? You are their example/role model.
Job you love into a place you have work while your life is falling apart, heaven forbid you get laid off and lose it too.
Happiness and wealth break down to a simple equation.
If you WANT MORE than you have you will be poor and sad.
If you WANT LESS than you have you will be rich and happy.
Life and happiness is all in how you choose to see it.
Its you choice what you do.
2007-01-10 13:46:32 · answer #4 · answered by snack_daddy10 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, quit your worrying about that. You made your choice 19 years ago and now stick with it. You will have to ask yourself this question is it worth losing the great husband, nice house, great kids and possibly the job you love for something else that might not be all that great. Think about it. Some women dream their whole lives to have what you have and you are willing to throw it away just like that. Think about it.
2007-01-10 14:29:40 · answer #5 · answered by kitcat 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What a foolish idea. You committed yourself to him for so long and now you want to throw it all away. Whats missing in your relationship is LOVE AND RESPECT and the only way you will get that is if you start showing him unconditional respect. HE will soften towards you and things will start falling into place. THere is an excellent book on the market called Love and Respect by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs from Michigan. I suggest you buy this and read it before your entire world falls apart. You have the 20 year itch! The grass is NOT greener on the other side and this thought is not good at all.
2007-01-10 13:30:54 · answer #6 · answered by uniquechild 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think everyone goes through this at one time or another. You didnt mention if there is someone in particular? Anyway maybe you could try and spice up your marriage a little (vacation, dates, ets) before you do something you may regret. Usually when woman have affairs it is about attention and not about the sex. If you feel that you arent getting enough attention from your husband maybe you should try talking to him about it. Bottom line if you do decide to cheat just be prepared for what may happen if he finds out and how it will affect your family.
2007-01-10 13:33:58 · answer #7 · answered by mom of twins 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't have your cake and eat it to. If your bored you should be focusing on ways to spice up the life you have with your husband. If you feel like going out and having sex with other people then divorce sounds like something your headed for. I doubt your husband is gonna say sure honey the kids and I will be right here waiting for you to come home after you done f**king your friend.
2007-01-10 13:35:35 · answer #8 · answered by Lucinda M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him or divorce him. If you go for it and he finds out (which he will) then you will have just ended the marriage very bitterly and destroyed your husband. Why don't try and be smart for just one second in your life and think about other options....such as bring in a third player or ask your husband to try swinging. Bring in another women once and bring in another man once....let your husband be part of the fun. People with your attitute make me sick....selfish selfish selfish.
2007-01-10 13:37:00 · answer #9 · answered by Cyber Stalker 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is this some type of female "middle life crisis"? I would think long and hard before acting on those thoughts. Talk to someone who you respect about it and see what they say. But, unless you are willing to risk the great life you have going, keep the someone else in your fantasies where he belongs.
2007-01-10 13:30:21 · answer #10 · answered by hotgramma 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋