Appearance vs Reality. Do you find that others impression of your family's life is different than it really

Question

is. I married for 11 years and three young kids. We are in our early 30's. She is a stay at home mom and I have a good management job that pays well. We are all healthy. The point / question is that I sometimes find it funny when someone comments on how they perceive our family. But as I think about it we put a lot of work into that perception. Kind of sad when you think about it. I know that in a lot of what we do one of the factors is normally how others will view it. As I get older I believe more and more that there everyone really is the same and most families are going through the same issues no mater what their income or social status. Money allows you to put better window dressing on it but that is all. So, how surprised do you think we would all be if just for a little while you could pull all the fluff aside and look into what was really going on in other people lives?

Answer 1

You seem to be admitting that you are, to a certain uncomfortable extent, putting on a show for the benefit of others. But since their comments are (I am supposing) pleasant, you feel like a fake? While I don't think you have any reason to hide the wonderfully positive things you and your wife are doing for your children and your future, you can perhaps benefit from a reflection on your achievements. Recognize your hard work, but don't reward yourself for it. Donate to a charity, but keep it to yourself. Make your family the topic of conversation, not your lifestyle. You have much more control over how people perceive you than you think. Good question.

Answer 2

I'm a single stay at home mom who does daycare and i get told all the tI'me that its not healthy for my children. but you know what at least im not sending them to some stranger who ignores and neglects them at daycare...i only do daycare for family members and friends so the kids already knew me very well. but yeah i know what you mean i hear it a lot being that i have fully tattooed arms and a mohawk and i live like a housewife from the 50's most of the time.

Answer 3

I too am a stay at home Mom who wishes people would be a little more real and a little less "look at my fancy car". We aren't rich but any means, but we pay the bills, raise our two girls, and are happy in knowing that our kids are just as happy as kids with lots of "stuff".
My favorite part of the simple life is when our phone company calls, as they do often, to upgrade our services.
Them: "How much is your average cell phone bill?"
Me: Free, we don't use them.
Them: Oh, what about cable, would you like to save on cable?
Me: We don't have cable.
Them: Oh, would you like to upgrade your phone service for caller ID, call waiting, or international calling?
Me: Look, we're pretty simple people. Thanks for calling.

I chuckle everytime I get the call. God help me that I never become so important that I need all those crazy services. We aren't dumb folks, I have my MBA, my husband is management at his company. But I like my 50's lifestyle. My kids are happy doing crafts, reading, and playing with lego's.

There's a peek into my life. I would be thrilled to know that there are others like us.