I was just reading through a question where a man asked what he could do to help his wife of 6.5 years lose weight he said he still loves her like crazy but is now unattracted to her.
So many women jumped all over him about being insensitve to a womans needs and all this crap.
Last time i checked a marriage was a 2 way street and if one or both arent happy then both need to do something about it. A man or woman has every right to be un happy with their partner changing there appearence especially if it is an unhealthy choice. I believe that both parties in a realtionship need to make an effort to keep the others happy this is the only way it works.
what do you all think?
2007-01-10 04:30:05 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I couldnt agree with you more but....a womans physcial appearance is a very very sensitive issue----I think in this case the hubby should continue to affirm her and love her a praise her for any steps toward a healthier lifestyle-----I feel sorry for the pressure women live with each and everyday and perhaps they should begin to tell those who are pressuring them and marketing the "perfect" body to take a hike.
2007-01-10 04:45:18 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
First and foremost - you are obligated to love the other person no matter what (unless they are outside of their vows - abuse, cheating, etc).
I think the problem that women have is: we usually accept when our husbands gain weight and don't really say anything about it. It seems like if a woman gains 10 or 15 lbs after popping out babies, men are unhappy with them. This isn't fair.
Think about it in the long term - you chose to grow old together, are you going to leave when she's old and wrinkly?
Why make such a big deal out of a few pounds? Unless it's like 70 lbs - then it becomes a health risk. Even in this case, you shouldn't tell her that you don't feel attracted to her, this will only either make her eat more or become anorexic.
Then again, the wife may be partially to blame for marrying a superficial jerk.
Now, women who have the attitude that they are married and don't "have to impress anyone anymore" are being disrespectful to their husbands. If they are gaining weight just because they're lazy and don't care what their husbands think - then absolutely he has every right to be mad. Not because of the weight itself, but because she doesn't care enough to be desirable to him.
2007-01-10 04:44:59 · answer #2 · answered by lookinforanswers 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
marriage is a two way street, but it's about a deeper mental connection, and not JUST physical. While the physical aspect is important, it's sometimes a little more "superficial," if you will. A man should approach such issues carefully. Instead of verbally encouraging her to lose weight, perhaps suggest that they hit the gym together. If both take up a mutual interest, it'll be a positive experience with positive outcomes. Otherwise it comes off as criticism. As for whether or not it's "right" for a man to say this to his wife...that's completely subjective. I think it's the wrong way to go about it, but that's just me!
2007-01-10 04:39:00 · answer #3 · answered by should be working 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If he's complaining because she doesn't still have the body of an 18-year-old, then he's just a jerk. But if she's really put on a lot of weight and there isn't a medical reason, I think it's fair to go to her about it in a kind and loving way. I think a wife does have an obligation to her husband to try and be attractive for him. If a woman is overweight, denying it isn't going to make it go away, but it's a natural defense mechanism. (I'm a chub-devil and I know it, so I can say that!)
2007-01-10 04:40:44 · answer #4 · answered by afling78 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I was raised with five sisters and I think everyone has it backwards. Its not men who define how women should look its women trying to appeal to what they THINK men want.
Men are stupid simple creatures, yet women must be even more stupid to NOT understand men.
Which is better to men 110 lbs arm candy that doesn't put out and is high maintenance or a 180 lbs kinky freak?
Women its not how you look its how you make us (men) feel that is important. Look at Marilyn Monroe or May West they were not a twigs, but they had sexual confidence. Men felt like sex could happen any second. Some men are into image and want arm candy, but from my experience most of us prefer someone who can get their freak on.
FYI, I have found that most women who think they are "10" are lousy lovers. Their egos are too big and think its all about pleasing them. Sex is adult play time with give and take. I'm not talking "Simon Says", more like "Tag" or "Twister", just put your body where you will get the most pleasure and enjoy.
2007-01-10 05:28:01 · answer #5 · answered by snack_daddy10 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I agre. both parties need to work hard to keep the "Spark" alive, because quite frankly, a realtionship without sexual attraction sucks. So, in my opinion, she should make an effort to keep her husband interested. If my husband got a belly or started laying around eating doritos, I wouldn't be horny at all.
2007-01-10 04:48:59 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I agree with you 100%
Women need to keep up with their looks not only for the husband but for herself too.
It works both ways, a husband should also do everything to still be attractive to his wife.
2007-01-10 04:44:42 · answer #7 · answered by T 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Exactly. The love is still there but attraction has faded. Marriage is a two way street. It takes two to make it successful.
2007-01-10 04:36:45 · answer #8 · answered by mvas800 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
If the wife wants to lose the weight it sounds like she has the most supportive and wonderful husband by her side to help her.
2007-01-10 04:46:18 · answer #9 · answered by Tasha 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Lover, Best Friend, Companion...
2007-01-10 04:35:15 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋