Are you open with your spouce about other people you find attractive?

Question

IIf so is it only celebrities feel comfortable commenting on or are you also able to talk honestly about people you know in town? How does your spouse react? My wife and I are honest about these things. I think that it helps inspire me to still want to maintain my appearance for her after 10 years of marriage and also helps both of us not take our relationship for granted. This has added just a touch of competing / jealousy for both of us which has been good for keeping a spark in our marriage. What do you think?

Answer 1

Definately, I think it is good, cause otherwise you end up in a rut and you won't find each other attractive anymore. It takes work to manage a relationship, but you still have to focus on yourself. That's awesome that you still want to impress your wife. Too many times, people get the idea that now that they've gotten her, they can stop trying. So not true!

Answer 2

Why would you need to have a sense of competition to keep a spark in your marriage? To be completely honest, I haven't felt a spark of real attraction for anyone besides my husband since before we were engaged. He is all I need and want, and no one else can even compare. He tells me that he feels the same way about me, and it would be a massive underexaggeration to say that we have a "spark" in our marriage. More like a bonfire... It's true, both he and I may notice that other people are attractive--we just don't necessarily feel the attraction personally. Why would I want to waste my time looking at other men when the one I love (and lust after) is right next to me, and I get to go home with him? There are many ways that I am inspired to maintain my appearance for him--an obvious one being that on days when I take extra care to look really good for him, he *obviously* appreciates it--and he lets me know! Another one is on those days when I *didn't* take that extra care, and I maybe even got a little sloppy (home with the baby all day, didn't even brush my hair in the morning, etc.), I feel it in that when I see women who look better than me, it makes me try harder to look good too. But, to me, it would be totally unnecessary for my husband to point out, "Wow, that woman sure looks good" (translation to my mind when I feel unattractive:"That woman is so much hotter than you!") That would only be asking for trouble, just as it would if I pointed out a more attractive, more "built", or whatever, man to him.

Answer 3

I don't think there's anything wrong with noticing another woman is attractive. It's only wrong when you go chasing after the other woman. A woman's beauty is meant to be appreciated, it's when you give her your heart that the problems begin. Of course it's easier to comment on celebrities without fear of backlash, because your woman will never worry about a celebrity stealing you away. However, celebrities are on my list, now if only Kate Beckinsale gave me the time of day.......

Answer 4

I agree about it keeping a slight spark. But as long as your with your wife and your eyes don't wonder...it shouldn't be a problem. But don't make it a habit to comment on every attractive thing walking

Answer 5

My wife is my best friend and yes I tell her, and she tells me when we find someone attractive. It is a fine line though never say things like wow she is the hottest woman I have ever seen or something like I would love to sleep with her!

Answer 6

i think it mess up your relationship, it good to be honest with each other but not that open minded about it been there and done it nope it not good at all

Answer 7

i think it is ok , even tho someone might look better does not mean u love them.

Answer 8

i do the same with my husband and there's nothing wrong with it