I am a 30 year old woman that has always enjoyed sex. My husband had an affair on me and now I have NO desire to have sex. My self esteem is hurt by his affair of course, but the fact the woman was so overweight and ugly (I modeled for 10 years and am very pretty) it hurts even worse. Every single time we have had sex since I have found out, I think about what he did the entire time, now I just don't want to do it at all.
2007-01-10 04:19:48 · 9 answers · asked by Pretty Girl 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
i think it may be time for a divorce because it seems that you will never forgive him
2007-01-10 04:23:11 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't necessarilly agree that once a cheater always a cheater. Have you asked him why he cheated?? Its not all about looks. Maybe something in your relationship is missing, I am not by any means agreeing that cheating is ok, I'm just saying that it usually has underlying reasons like not being happy in your current relationship. Try counselling, talk, talk and talk some more. Lack of communication is a major poison to a relationship. If you find after trying everything you can think of you still can't forgive him then for the sake of the both of you I would end it. Good luck.
2007-01-10 12:34:03 · answer #2 · answered by MJ 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I hear you. I also lose my sex drive for the man I'm with if he doesn't treat me right. Then I get blamed for withholding sex. Who wants to sleep with someone who is doing you wrong ? I would never be able to move forward with a cheat. Never. I think you need to get a divorce and get your sanity back. Your too young for all this crap. And please dont feel bad about yourself because your husband is nasty. An ex of mine cheated on me with a fat nasty women too and I'm also attractive and thin. The whole neighborhood found out about it and was wondering what I wasn't giving him that he needed to go to the fat chick. Its amazing that its always the women's fault. I gave him everything and more and I realize that its not about me but about him and that's the way you should look at it.
2007-01-10 12:30:52 · answer #3 · answered by JustMe 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is easy to understand. For us sex is all in our head, not in our genitals. Obviously it has affected you, and why shouldn't it? The problem is that you seem to be taking the blame (not literally but affair wise or sex wise) for what he did. You didn't do anything to make him stray. Although you may know its not your fault, its natural to internalize this. It seems like you've decided to work on your relationship, and it'a going to take time to work yourself back up there, to where you don't think about this other person anymore. I say time, and communication to get through it. Be patient. If you're already trying it may come back.
2007-01-10 12:27:21 · answer #4 · answered by Brandnewshoes 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its natural for you to feel that way, the pleasure is gone with him, you have been betrayed and hurt, if you want to make it work out, ONLY IF U WANT, then you will have to come to terms with it and try to forgive not forget. Also a trust issue is there, wheather you can trust him not to do it again. Dont stay in a relatinship if you cant trust and forgive him, it will only get worse. I choose to leave when i found out she cheated, i could not look at her the same, it was best for me..Hes the one that has a problem not you..Live happy not in doubt or it will torment you, do what you feel is best for you only..
2007-01-10 13:20:11 · answer #5 · answered by P_a94 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is it possible that you were too high matience and hubby got tired of it? I'm not saying you are I'm asking. Judgding by saying your very pretty, are you too full of yourself? If you are, maybe he got tired of it and went for the fat lady. I can understand why your sex drive is in neutral, fat lady or not if my hubby did that I wouldn't want to bump either. try seeing a sex counselor, if that doesn't work, well then go out and find better, chick. Once a cheater, always a cheater. Good Luck!
2007-01-10 12:28:47 · answer #6 · answered by All I have to do is dream... 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'm trying to figure this out, you're a 10 or a 9 and you'd have sex with him all the time (I take it that's what you meant by "always enjoyed sex"), and your hubby finds time and a way to find another partner, and wanting to put up with a new persons baggage and she's ugly.... yeah this adds up.
or maybe it doesn't.
2007-01-10 12:38:48 · answer #7 · answered by JRSK007 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Once a cheater always a cheater. You have no sex drive with him at this time because of what he did. If you do not think you will be able to get over it and forgive him, you will have to move on and divorce him. Your sex drive will return in time.
2007-01-10 12:25:44 · answer #8 · answered by mvas800 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I feel for you as that is likely something that will be in your subconscious forever. Just curious and I am not suggesting this, but if you imagine sex with a different man, does that do anything for your sex drive? I was just curious if it is totally a mental thing with your mind and your hubby himself.
2007-01-10 12:25:49 · answer #9 · answered by Rod Rod Go 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋