It sounds like this is something that has been "brewing" for you for awhile. It isn't easy to suddenly change a behavior you've been doing, especially when there is so much emotion attached to the issue. There are some techniques you can use to ease this transition, and lead you to the goal you desire. Start out with some situations that are low in emotional intensity, (for example, someone asking you for spare change, a comb, or some other personal item) and express yourself honestly and simply. Don't rationalize or apologize; just give a simple answer. Allow yourself to reflect on the situation and learn the lessons from it. Eventually, start applying this to other more varied situations with more emotional intensity. The more you do this, the more you start to change the paradigm, or cycle of behavior. You cannot change others, but you can change your responses to them. Good luck~
2007-01-10 04:20:30
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answer #1
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answered by Finnegan 7
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Its hard really really hard and it depends on how long you have actually been in that kind of relationship as well. You can be at a place that feels familiar and change scary however being abused emotionally and physically is dysfunctional. It is abuse which should not be treated lightly.
In time the abuse gets worse as it goes along.
Do you love yourself Do you care about you
This is where you have to put you first. Its not a selfish act either its called self care.
Care about you to put a stop to it now. As the years go on it only gets worse. There is an inner strength at the time when we most need it and that is what you need to pull on.
Remember you have a right to being treated well.
You have a right to say no
Do it before it may be too late.
Wishing you well and I am sorry you are in this.
Self care is not Selfish.
2007-01-10 04:13:09
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answer #2
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answered by Spirit_Rain_3-SunShineAries 3
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Hi Need Help.... Here is what I can offer you. 1st of all you really need to examine what you are saying no about... and then you need to look at the whole picture and decide when enough is enough... draw that line and say to your self you can not allow this person to cross it. You do not and should not be abused in any form. Take a look from the outside... if this were a friend or child what would you tell them to do? Take your own advise and believe me you will look back someday and will be able to know how strong you are... after all you have delt with the abuse now you just need to take out the trash.
2007-01-10 04:13:22
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answer #3
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answered by Tricia P 4
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Different people have different places to draw that strength from, but in the end, you have to accept that some things should be a given. You should be with someone who makes you feel good, and who you can make feel good. You should be with someone who respects you and encourages you to be yourself, but to be the best that you can be.
Being slapped around, or being humiliated or scared or treated wrong is not something that you should tolorate or consider "normal". Even in good relationships, you'll have arguements, but you should never get to the point to where you don't feel loved, or you feel threatened or scared or like you're all alone.
Once you accept that you deserve to be treated with a certain amount of respect and love, maybe you'll see that you have the strength to get out of a bad situation.
2007-01-10 04:15:31
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answer #4
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answered by CrazyChick 7
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Sorry to say that you won't get the strength until u are absolutely tired of the situation. Until then you will always try and work things out . When you get fed up you'll find the strength. Good luck
2007-01-10 04:12:54
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answer #5
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answered by Anonymous
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Sometimes it is necessary to seek professional help in order to gain the strength to do this. Other times it is a case of having your ego deflated so much that you fear doing this and so need to believe that your strong enough to do so. It is very sad statement of our society that one person would do this to another human being, abuse them physically, financially, emotionally etc. Sometimes it takes a shelter for a women to escape this type of situation and learn to believe in herself once again. Whatever it takes to gain this strength I wish all women (and men for that matter) the power to do so.
2007-01-10 04:18:35
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answer #6
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answered by crazylegs 7
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well you get that from experience remember experience is the best teacher but look at your elders and see how they deal with these situation and if you want to say no just think of your self start being selfish that is another way to go just think that you have one thing that the other person does not have and you are not willing to tell him or her how to do it or help them out just think imagine your self taking a test for which the outcome would be success and you have all these people in the room that are your friends would you let them score better than you and succeed
2007-01-10 04:12:47
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answer #7
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answered by khanaliimran 3
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As a pastor, I can guarantee you that every one folks have instances once we consider we have now failed this variety of experiment. Be transparent to your possess brain approximately your necessities of proper and improper and private integrity. Get a high-quality grounding within the Bible when you consider that so we can support you already know whether or not you might have acgtually denied God or have to ask His forgiveness. Spend plenty of time in prayer, given that so we can maintain you in near fellowship with God, via Jesus Christ. Through prayer, Bible studying, and cultivating near friendships with different Christians, your force will develop. At instances, the fee of ultimate real for your religion might look steeply-priced, however not anything is valued at denying your notion in Christ. Read Daniel three, notably three:14-18.
2016-09-03 19:46:35
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answer #8
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answered by penaloza 4
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I get the strength from realizing that nothing will ever change and that I deserve way better. If you dont stand up for yourself who will ? If you dont say no and leave then its saying yes to everything bad he is doing to you.
2007-01-10 04:15:34
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answer #9
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answered by JustMe 6
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You have to realise that life is short and preciuos. You only get one shot at life and you have to respect yourself first and take care of you as number 1! If someone else does not have this respect for you then you really need to close that chapter and move on.
You will find that if you develop self respect and love yourself the rest will fall into place.!
2007-01-10 04:19:27
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answer #10
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answered by Andy N. 1
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