we fight alot and i don't like it. i want to be closer to him. i figured that i would have to be the one to start acting nice since he's making no effort whatsoever. any ideas on what i can do to get him to be friends with me. he's 17 and i'm 15.
2007-01-10 03:52:50 · 15 answers · asked by i totally agree with you!! not 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
i think it's great tha tyou want a closer realtioship to your brother and I think you should always be the bigger person and be nice, but remeber that eh is a 17 year old kid who still has a lot of growing up to do and is going to change as he gets older, so the realtionship may come naturally over time.
2007-01-10 03:57:29 · answer #1 · answered by princesscutesmile 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If your brother started hanging out with you now, his friends would start picking on him. It's just the way society is today. Deep down, he loves you more than anyone else, but for now, while he's still in high-school, he's going to want to protect his pride. But just wait, once he graduates, he'll completely change. Everyone changes after graduating, there's no doubt in that.
Or...
Don't try befriending him during school. That's the worse thing you can do to him. That's probably what sets his frustrations on you. His frustrations are basically ways of telling you to "back-off." Although, afterschool, he won't mind as much because his friends aren't around. Only when he talks to you in school should you really aknowledge him. Other-wise, act like he was just another student.
If you both still ride the bus, when you two get off the bus, wait a moment and ask him how his day went. After a while, when you two become closer friends, start asking and seeing how his friends are. If he starts to think you're respecting him and his friends, he'll start opening up to ALOT more then.
Just don't think you two are going to be best of friends over night. It's just not possible. Give it time and slowly work at it. Believe me, it works! =)
Best of luck to you. And good luck in school!
2007-01-10 05:17:45 · answer #2 · answered by yitogwa 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
:)
I remember fighting with my brother a lot when we were younger. My mom called it World War III in our house...... Now that we're older, we're pretty close.
The thing that helped us the most was both of us growing up and me moving out. I think all of a sudden, we both missed each other.
I think you're doing the right thing by standing up and trying to be nicer to him first. Hopefully he'll see it and start being nicer to you in return. Maybe it will be a few days or weeks, maybe he'll take some time to come around to your way of thinking and it will be years down the road.
I just have to caution you that sometimes, even family members can't get along. At that point, you need to accept it and know that you tried your hardest.
2007-01-10 04:01:09 · answer #3 · answered by Tyler's Mommy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As you both grow older you will become closer. Trust me your brother Loves you and would fight anyone to protect you. He just needs time to realize what a good friend you can be.
2007-01-10 04:01:52 · answer #4 · answered by SHERRI 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It'll be hard. I know from experience, but you just have to kinda love, grin, and bear it. He'll hurt you. (emotionally). He'll annoy you. But you can just show love. Go out of your way to be loving and kind and nice. Do fun things with him. Maybe it'll work, maybe not. Depends on your brother. Maybe go on a long car ride with him and talk...it works for me and my bro when we're kinda fighting tooth and nail.
And me and my brother got SO close when he moved out and went to college. Like I said, I don't know about your brother, but you make the positive effort and you'll just have to give it time. But I value you for trying to mend a broken relationship. Kudos!!
2007-01-10 07:10:51 · answer #5 · answered by purplmonkeez 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep doing what you're doing, but there's no gurentee on what will work. My brother and I were two years apart (I'm the older one) and we fought a lot and weren't that great of friends, but when I graduated from high school we got to be really close and still are, so just keep working on it.
2007-01-10 03:57:28 · answer #6 · answered by accent_01 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
talk to him first about how you feel, but if that doesn't work, don't suck up to him, cuz he's going to start to take advantage of you. Try be friending a friend that you know he likes and make a deal with him about hooking them up. Tell him in order for you to do that for him he has to spend some quality time with you.
2007-01-10 03:59:24 · answer #7 · answered by forever T 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thats tough. It was around your ages when my sister and I became closer. There may be reasons why he acts the way he does. Just tell him how you feel and ask what the problems are.
2007-01-10 03:57:58 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk things out with him. Let him know that you don't want to fight with him. Communication is usually the key. If that doesn't work than stop trying and wait for him to come to his senses .
2007-01-10 04:05:57 · answer #9 · answered by D-NICE 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have three older brothers. I fought with the youngest (who is 4 yrs older then me) growing up. Really just wait. Now that we are older we get along well.
2007-01-10 03:57:40 · answer #10 · answered by strtat2 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋