what would you do if you thought you would lose either way no matter what?
2007-01-10 03:34:32 · 11 answers · asked by Love hurts??? what to do?! 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
i feel as if i am in the same boat, my husband told me he wanted A divorce and left me ( not even caring about giving me a any money which i didnt even bring up, and leaving the cats behind which he didnt care about either) then as a final aftermath i started seeing one of my good friends, now my husband is saying ( even after he came over and had unconsentual sex with me, if he knew i was seeing someone else, why would he do that if he so did in fact beleive we were over ) that i cheated and i pushed him away. And now the good friend i was dating ( i have now broen up with him to get a goood clear vision on whats going on) is saying i am the love of his life and tht we were always meant to be together, Five years ago he asked me to go to Italy with him and i enever went and ended up marrying a high school friend and having a baby with him. I truly do beleive i love my husband but how to i get him to see i didnt start cheating when things were hunky dory ( which is what he ebeleives ) he pushed me so far back anbd away i didnt think he loved me anymore. So in point, your ex is an ex for a reason, and your fiance loves you for you, you should tell him, and as long as it wasnt a make out session you should be fine, if he loves you he will do anything to be with you. Start out with how you know it was a mistake and make it clear that nothing else happeend but a kiss, and you are to no longer go near this ex because that would be playing with fire
2007-01-10 03:45:24 · answer #1 · answered by Jane Doe 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As all relationships are based on trust, honesty is the best policy. By doing so, it shows your fiancee that you respect him and your relationship and the opportunity to work through it or possibly decide not to proceed with getting married.
If you are truly not over your ex, it is not fair to either or you to proceed to get married then regret it later. By being honest, if you are unsure of what you want if you both decide best to call off the wedding, you have not cut off the possibility of continuing the relationship in the future.
If you lie and he finds out you lie, especially since he said he wouldn't leave if you told him the truth, he is likely never to trust you again and will suspect everything you do, which can erode a relationship down to nothing.
2007-01-10 03:44:16 · answer #2 · answered by bottleblondemama 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have more problems than we can fix here in Yahoo Answers. First of all, I wouldn't put myself in the situation that you are in. Second, why did you become engaged to someone else if you aren't over your ex yet? Third, maybe (hopefully) your fiancee is just saying that in order to get the truth from you - and maybe he WILL leave you (and he will if he has half a brain) once he finds out the truth. You sound like someone with low self-esteem who is insecure, and if your fiancee doesn't leave you after finding out the truth, I'd say he is the same way.
2007-01-10 03:49:52 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You must tell the truth before he find out the truth. He need to trust you and you have to trust him. So lets see what wil happen after you tell him, i know its bad but if you dont want to lose him, then get over with your ex and dont do it again, keep it low.
2007-01-10 03:39:30 · answer #4 · answered by MissGal 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
FIRST- you need to figure out if you truly want to marry this guy. Sounds like you don't, which is OK.
SECOND- no, telling him won't help anything. But if you think you might cheat again, you need to do the right thing and break off the engagement.
2007-01-10 03:41:58 · answer #5 · answered by Milana P 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
thats straight up selfish! you want to people! you just cant choose between them! youre afraid that if you tell the truth! your fiance might leave you..which he should...then youd only have one..but if you dont tell..youll have your fiance...and hopefully NOT the other guy! its not fair for you to do that! you go for one or the other not both!..if youre not over the other guy! why get married to someone else?!!!
2007-01-10 03:41:51 · answer #6 · answered by RiRi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that was wrong in the first place to kiss him and to say yes to the engagment
sounds like youre in a pickle
2007-01-10 03:38:44 · answer #7 · answered by Pam J 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you're not over your ex why are you engaged? are you planning on still hooking up with him even after you get married?
2007-01-10 03:40:15 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him, and hopefully he leaves you because he deserves someone better and someone that actually loves and respects him!
2007-01-10 03:39:29 · answer #9 · answered by I heart pineapple soda 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Never tell. Don't believe him. He is just saying that to make you rat on yourself.
2007-01-10 04:54:06 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋