i cant leave my husband i have a baby and no where to go...?

Question

i agreee i dont deserve what an *** my husband is but i cant leave him. i want my son to have the best life possible. i dont have any money or a car or anywhere to go. my baby boy is everything to me and i cant leave him with my husband because he is a bad father. cant i just get help?? i cant seem to talk to my husband without it turning into a fight. he is in the army too so he always gets the police on his side. im lost andi feel trapped. i have no hope for my own future.

Answer 1

There is an organization called "Homeward Bound". It is a place that you can go, and be protected, get help with housing, food, diapers, day care, doctors anything you may need. I was in this program for a year and a half. It provided a really nice two bedroom apartment for very little money, budgeting classes, job training, clothes for interviews, Christmas gifts for my son and a ton of support!! They are nation wide and sponsored by United Way. It could be your ticket to freedom from an abusive relationship, or a ticket to your independence. The best life you can give your son is to raise him in a happy healthy environment, and if the life you are living is less than that--your responsibility is to that little boy. Give them a shot--there are probably a ton of organizations to help you--you are in charge of your own happiness, and you are in charge of that little prince's happiness--make it happen, everything is in your grasp, grab your boot straps, pull yourself up and get moving with your life--you and your son deserve better than to be unhappy!!

Answer 2

I'm wondering if he is a bad father or a bad husband.
And if this guy is so bad why in the world did you reproduce with him?
You had a child so I know at some point you were attracted to this person enough to get nekked.
Did he change when you had the child or did you want him to change something he always did because there was now a child.
Make a list of thing that you found positive/negative of him when you first met, then another list when YOU started having second thoughts, and then during and after the pregnancy.
If you are honest when writting the lists then with this info you might find ways to repair what went wrong.
But it still takes 2, you better find out what he wants and expects. If you give him what he wants he's more likely to give you what you want.
Deny him his needs and he will do the same to you.

Answer 3

Sure you have hope for your future and that of your precious baby boy. You feel lost and trapped everyone does at one time or another in life, in marriage. I know that you can get some counseling from the Army, they offer if for FREE! Call someone on your post and find out HOW. Don't wait another moment. Feel trapped, you obviously have a computer, so take some distance learning classes online, so you can proceed to your future and you arent trapped. Learn how to be married, yes I said learn how, the both of you.

Answer 4

Sweetie, I have been there and done that. I stayed for the same reasons as you and ended up with 2 kids instead of one, and 10 years in the family court, being stalked etc etc.

It was still better living apart being almost destitute taht with abuse no matter how small you can tell yourself it is. These men have a way of reprogramming women into thinking so little of ourselves until we think only of our children and what we are losing etc.

Take that precious little one of yours and get help from domestic violence counsellors, The local police station or womens sheleter is the best place to start. Try a local womens legal service they are every where these days.

There are soooooo many support services out there nowdays, you just have to ask.............. and never never never look back when you finally make that descision. The department of housing will help you get a place in your circumstances, charities help you furnish it in a small way and they will help you with food until you get a single parent pension established. You dont need to worry about a car or money, have some trust, it will be there when you need it!

ALso, the police are helpful in that area, just take the comments with a grain of salt. I have dealt with lovely officers and some that called me guilty and never even listened to me. Keep at it, and stick to your guns! Most are great!

Only you wil know when its time, no one else can tell you that. It took me 5 years, but I pray you will only need 5 days to get your advice. 12 years later I am still getting counselling, so dont let it get that far, it is much better for you son to have a weekend dad and a full time mum who is happy than trying to stay just for him.

Believe me Hon, he wont thank you when he is older, I have heard that from many women!

SO again, get you info, get your ducks in a row, and never never look back! HUGS to YOU!

Answer 5

If you truly are unhappy, that isnt making a good environment for your child. Children can sense that sort of stuff. Do you really think its best for your child that his mother cant say anything to his father without a fight escalating or the police being involved. Do you not have any family or friends you can stay with for a short time until you get on your feet?

Answer 6

Go to a woman's shelter. They are in every town. You only feel trapped because you don't know what to do! My mom was in your shoes-she had 4 small kids and only earned $4000/year as a waitress and no car. Her family wouldn't help, and his family denied his abuse existed.

You always have a way out. Start at the shelter, they will help you figure out housing and support-even if you need public housing and welfare for now (this is the kind of situation it was created for). You can get a job and get yourself on your feet. Your child will thank you, I promise.
My mother is the most amazing woman in teh world to me and my family--because she took charge of giving us a decent life. It was very hard, and she did it! You can too!!!

Good luck, and go talk to the shelter today. This is your chance to make a wonderful life for yourself and your child.

Answer 7

if you check out the places in your area that deal with domestic violence they will help you and they won't charge you for their time. you don't have to feel trapped with all the places that there are to help. there are even places that will put you up until you are able to support yourself if getting out is what you would like to do .l here 7 years ago i stayed in a shelter with my two sons. at the time i hated it and thought tht it was the worst thing ever. i didn't want my boys to be without their father. but now looking back on it all i think it is the best thing that i ever did for myself.

Answer 8

I am really sorry that you have to go through this but I know you are saying that you cant leave your husband financially but thats all in your head. If you tell yourself that you cannot leave him then you are giving him the means to keep hold of you. Tell yourself you can manage. Leave him ...there are benefits you can claim. What about your parents? Its the best for your son ....without a dad like that .........that matters more than money and wicked toys

Answer 9

You want your son to have the best life possible, but yet his daddy is a bad father............
If you leave your husband you can get child support. You can also request temporary alimony until you get back on your feet.

Where are your family members? How about a women's shelter if nothing else?

Answer 10

What country are you in? There are many women's shelters. Is there any one to support you and give you a room? You need to set up a video camera in the house where he can't see it. If he is as much of a #$%# as you say and gets the cops on his side how likely are you to get custody unless you can prove what he is really like? If you are in Australia there is a supporting parents' benefit from Centrelink.
Do you want your son to suffer as you do or grow up to make his wife feel like you?