i think some mught hav emisunderstood me, he use to watch porn, not since we married. i am just concerned taht he is still really wnting to do it again. ome time htere was one ot those X rated girls gone wild comercials and he got all turned on and left the room. i just cried. i dont think he gets turned on by me because if im in the mood (rarley) he pushes me away. somtimes if i notice that he is turned on i just go along with it and get rejected. i think he is think of somone else. one time (while i was pregnant) i cought him goin over to another girls house. i talked to both of them sepratly and they both said they never had sex but my hubby is a lier. i cant ever trust him. he lies about eberything. i catch him alll the time. we didnt get married out of love either. yeah i do love him very much but he is very controlling. i cant evern have friends without him yelling at me. i just dont think my husband is really into me for love but as an object that he can control. PLEASE HELP ME!
2007-01-10 02:39:21 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The problem is not with him.
You should really examine your lack of confidence in this area.
Try some individual therapy to deal with your self issue.
You must understand that you accuse him of things which may or may not have happened and he lies about them to avoid the inevitable fight that comes.
You seem to be projecting your attitude of him onto him. This is a recipe for disaster.
2007-01-10 03:14:17 · answer #1 · answered by Flagger 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why did you get married in the first place? If not for love then I will guess kids are involved. Which is not fair for them because it sounds like you are headed for a divorce. People get married all the time for the wrong reasons and it sounds like your in that trap. I'm sorry to hear that things are not really working out. Just find what makes you happy in life and stick with it. I am guessing your husband is probably not going to be in that picture.
2007-01-10 03:01:18 · answer #2 · answered by "the Otter" 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That sounds like a previous relationship i was in. My bf at the time was very controlling and abusive both mentally and physically. I felt like the only time he wanted me was for sex and then he'd tell me how ugly and fat i was and how no one else would want me. He would also call me different names during sex and then laugh. He also lied about EVERYTHING. He couldn't even keep a job because he would call into work and say that his grandma...dog...cat...mom...was sick or dead.
Don't feel too bad about the porn. It's better he watches porn then has sex with other women. If he really loves you though and respects you he would stop watching it. My bf that I have now (almost a 2 year relationship) watched it and i told him how upset it made me...now he doesn't even look at other girls. Have you considered divorcing him? I know that might sound crazy but do you really want to be with him FOREVER and it might get worse as time goes on. He might start abusing you. Really evaluate the situation and don't just settle for him.
2007-01-10 02:55:23 · answer #3 · answered by xox1sexyangeloxo 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Everything you have said matches the description of an abuser. There is nothing missing. The best thing for you to do is to take your children and get out. There are women's shelters that will help you.
No one who controls you is good for you. You really need to get out and start over.
Take care,
Troy
2007-01-10 02:55:34 · answer #4 · answered by tiuliucci 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you didn't marry for love, then you screwed up. You shouldn't have married someone who you don't feel completely comfortable and in love with. Get out of the relationship and move on...it's way past time.
2007-01-10 02:47:01 · answer #5 · answered by I heart pineapple soda 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
well if he is lying to you and obuseing u thats a bad marriage. if he thinks he is the head of your life u need to fix that. a marraige is a team so u need to get things fixed. and if your not turned on when he is u can do what ever makes u feel that way so things work. hope that helps
2007-01-10 02:46:00 · answer #6 · answered by mbjack0407 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Those type of guys never change...Lose the loser and get on with your life. You won't believe the feeling of being free when you get away from someone like that. It is an awesome feeling..so leave his A$$..........
2007-01-10 02:44:27 · answer #7 · answered by jlynna10 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
We can't help you, you have to help yourself by getting out of that situation. You know it is wrong. You know it is unhealthy. Get the hell out and stop fiddle farting around about it.
2007-01-10 02:58:19 · answer #8 · answered by Poppet 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You've got to seek counseling with him. Period.
2007-01-10 03:12:31 · answer #9 · answered by JRSK007 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hello, get out!!!!!! you are clearly not happy. I can't believe that you would take such abuse from a man.
2007-01-10 02:43:42 · answer #10 · answered by Pandora 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋