My 9 year old son sometimes refuses to go see his father. My son has anger issues with his dad because of past abuse from his dad and other circumstances (my ex husband just lost their home in foreclosure and lied to my kids about it, and also left their family dog in the house to starve to death - the dog was rescued by the neighbors, he also just moved in with his gf of 2 months and didn't talk to the kids about it, just did it). When it is time for his scheduled visitation my ex husband has to physcially force my son in the car and pray that my son doesn't jump out of the car while its moving. (He has done this in the past, jump out of the car while it's moving). We agreed that it was in the best interest of my son to not risk him getting hurt and to no longer force him to go, but now my ex is threatening me with holding me in contempt because I'm not FORCING my son into the car. Any advice? (Legal or otherwise?)
2007-01-10 02:29:13 · 13 answers · asked by thelilred_whocould 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Call your lawyer for sure.
As far as Im aware, your son shouldnt have to be forced to see his dad, I'd say counselling would be ordered to repair the relationship.....in the meantime i wouldnt send him, its not good.
2007-01-10 02:36:32 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't force my son into the car. No way. We can sit there alllllll day and he doesn't want to go he's not going. Not because my son calls the shot, because he obviously doesn't feel comfortable and safe. I think you said you ex had abused him? Is your son going to therapy? I do agree you should call your lawyer, maybe something can be done to suspend the visits. If he doesn't want to go, maybe you could work out some kind of day trip where your son knows he'll come back home in a few hours. He probably feels like he's not being heard, and no one is listening to him, or what he wants. I hope that part time day visit could be arranged, he sounds really unhappy. MAybe even a visit with a judge so your son won't be forced to go with him. Start recording every incident, and making sure that if you do have any witnesses that they can testify on your behalf. It's not about your ex and I hope he can understand that, it's about your son, you seem to have made that very clear. But your ex may not see it the same way, he seems like he thinks everything is about him. He seems careless, and I do hope your lawyer will be able to help make this go away.
2007-01-10 02:53:05 · answer #2 · answered by Brandnewshoes 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
let your lawyer know this the fact that your son trys to jump out of the car when being forced to see his father . OMG any judge in his right mind would keep this child away from his father . Okay you ex has commited animal abuse (get a statement from the neighbor who took the dog in) ,lost your home because he is a liar . Your ex cannot hold you in contempt because your son could get killed doing this . I think he is blowing alot of wind . I would also remind my ex that you could still turn him in for animal abuse . also find out what his girlfriend is doing for a living ,because one of my friends find out that her ex's new wife is an escort and now she can no longer be in the house while the boys are visiting . so now she has decided to file for divorce from him . He is angry about that so he blames her.Do everything you can against your ex forcing you to do things . good luck honey.
2007-01-10 04:38:54 · answer #3 · answered by Kate T. 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Call the lawyer for sure. He is of the age that he can start help making decisions. If you son is not comfortable going it shouldn't be your contempt as he sees how your son reacts.
Maybe there is something that can be done otherwise, like just day visits, or dinners so that your son knows that he will be coming home.
2007-01-10 02:35:57 · answer #4 · answered by DEE 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to your attorney. Are the visitation Court ordered or just by agreement. Don't do anything that might result in injury to the boy. Call the local police and see if they're willing to do a "civil standby' when the dad arrives to pickup the boy. This just gives you and unbias third party perspective - very useful in Court if necessary.
I doubt that a Judge would hold you in comtempt if all you say is accurate. Just be sure the boy is available and videotape the interaction between the two.
Talk to the attorney.
2007-01-10 02:42:40 · answer #5 · answered by jack w 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Write it all down, keep a journal. The only thing he can do to 'make' you force him, is to get a lawyer and take you to court. Until then keep a record of all the things that occur. You can then use it in court as documentation of why you didn't make your son go. That it was for his physical and emotional safety. I would still call the lawyer for yourself and your son, but in the mean time write down all the things that have happened to the best of your memory. GOOD LUCK TO YOU AND YOUR SON!!
2007-01-10 02:43:21 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Call your lawyer for sure. And also try some counseling for your son and suggest to your ex that he seek counseling as well. Because in spite of everything going on your ex needs to get his act together and become stable for himself as well as for the kids. He can threaten you but he can't make the kid go with him. Any way talk to a lawyer and in the mean time try to work things out with your ex.
2007-01-10 02:39:44 · answer #7 · answered by kitcat 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi... wow my ex let our son choose to visit or not... when things got like that! Let me tell you I ended up in court for contempt video tape your son fighting to not go with the father and get him into counseling! He sounds like he might could use it... and the counselor is an outside resource to have help with... move the pick up of visits to the local police station... ask a police officer to watch so that someone other then you is a witness to your sons dislike of his father. How sad for your son.
2007-01-10 02:36:18 · answer #8 · answered by Tricia P 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go with your gut call the lawyer your son should have a right to be where he feels safe. I would also consider counseling for him especially since he has anger issues. Good luck and best wishes
2007-01-10 02:38:17 · answer #9 · answered by fungirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why would any one want to force a child to do something they dont want. I mean if he doesnt want to see his dad to the extrem he would jump out of a moving car. dont make him. I would take him to a professional and find out why he is behaving so skitsih with his father . maybe there is more going on her then you think.
talk with youre son and take what he has to say to heart for this really smells of bad things.Dont risk his life to make his dad happy youre only job is to protect youre child and if that means not making him mgo then that is what you do.Any dad who would move in with his girlfriend and not talk about it with his children is not taking them to heart.And any dad who would force there child into a car knowing this child dont want to go doesnt sound tome like he cares to much for the way the child feels. A child knows what he/she wants and it is obvious this is one of those children who know what he wants and thats not to e forced to go. Good luck
2007-01-10 02:38:38 · answer #10 · answered by furby_lost 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋