2007-01-10 02:29:06 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I cannot answer for her, all I can say is: Good for you! You are seeking help and you can get through this rough time in your life whether she comes to the meetings or not. Maybe she feels it may be uncomfortable for her.
2007-01-10 02:34:00 · answer #1 · answered by lookinforanswers 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Have you asked her? She is either self absorbed nonsupporting and more worried what people will think of her than being with her husband
or...
Maybe she is worried that she cant handle being disappointed. I am sure you have hurt her allot over the course of your illness and maybe she's not ready to trust that you will change yet. Maybe she is scared to deal with the emotions of accepting that you are an alcoholic. Whatever her reasons you two need to discuss it. Maybe she is a more private person and needs to support you in a private manor. Suggest that you two seek marriage counseling to talk about the things that have happened. Ask her how she can be supportive if she cant go to the AA meetings. Give her some ideas of other ways she can help you get through this.
No matter what happens, I am proud of your choice to try and change. Keep going to AA with or withought her. You are brave and strong and can do this. You will find an amazing support system through AA. Good Luck!
2007-01-10 02:44:27 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she is not an alcoholic then she may not feel it is her place to be at an AA mtg. It doesn't mean she doesn't love you or support you. It just means that she is frightened that she won't belong and will feel out of place. Frankly, I don't know if spouses regularly attend AA meetings. I do know that some very intense feelings come out at AA meetings and she may not be ready to handle some of the ones you may or may not express.
I sat in on a AA meeting when I was in the Navy. I worked on the psych ward and took the patients who were only in for alcohol treatment/detox to the meeting. I sat in the back and just listened. It was very eye opening for me, and I wasn't emotionally attached to anyone in the room.
I'm proud of you for admitting you have a problem and seeking help for your problem. It will be a hard road, but it is worth it. Many have gone before you, the path is clear, you may stumble but you are going forward and that is what is important.
2007-01-10 02:43:56 · answer #3 · answered by Poppet 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
WoW!!! nicely i presumed MY husband turned right into a mommas boy! you've married your self to a very immature mommas boy. The bible even says a guy is to leave his father and mom and cleave to his spouse. you are able to't stay as a married couple and make a kinfolk if he in consumer-friendly words must be up below his momma continually. Is he nonetheless breastfeeding? perchance thats why he's there each of the time LOL. Sorry yet for actual, you'll spend some thing of your marriage in competition consisting of his mom in case you do not positioned a supply as a lot because it now. i'm handling that now and its a no win difficulty. I truly imagine you want to think about different options and seem for a guy who's more effective on your factor.
2016-12-28 15:03:03 · answer #4 · answered by goulding 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would bet she may be afraid... however alcholism is a family problem... and maybe your going to AA alone without her is something you need to face on your own. Does your wife drink? Good luck with your AA meeting! Remember one day at a time... and when it is too rough one second at a time.
2007-01-10 02:38:29 · answer #5 · answered by Tricia P 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A few reasons;
1. The people in these meetings are your support not her.
2. AA is primarily for the abuser, Alonone is for her.
3. Perhaps she would not want to see and hear you speak of the weakness.
Let her handle her part on her own.
And good for you for taking this step.
Good luck-
2007-01-10 02:37:08 · answer #6 · answered by Floss 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
First of all congratulations on your sobriety.You are taking the first step to recovery and bettering your life and your marriage.ok with that said let's touch on your other issue.With all do respect you are the alcoholic not your wife so you need to be attending your AA meetings and your wife need's to be attending Alanon meetings.Alanon is like AA only it for for the non alcoholic.You have your issues to deal with because of your drinking and your wife has her issues to deal with from the standpoint of dealing with the alcohlic.With that said you should not be offended that she does not want to go to your AA meeting instead let her attend Alanon meetings and allow her to get the help and support that she need's as well.You both need support and treatment the only difference is you both need a different form of support..Good luck to both of you and again congratulations..
2007-01-10 02:51:53 · answer #7 · answered by Maureen B 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What is ultimately important is that you do what you need to do.
My wife (at the time) refused to go with me as well. When I got to my first meeting, I discovered it was all about me, not her.
She may want to meet a member of al-anon to help her with her own problems caused by your drinking but that will have to be her decision.
Do what you need to do and remember, a thousand drinks is never enough but one drink is too many. Don't drink. No matter how bad life gets, just don't take the first drink.
Get a solid sponsor (if you don't know what that is, ask someone at the meeting) and rely on them. You're not alone anymore :)
You have helped keep ME sober today. Thanks.
2007-01-10 05:36:36 · answer #8 · answered by Phil #3 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
because you are the alcoholic and not her. you are taking the right step by going to a meeting, but if she doesn't want to go that is ok. this is something you need to conquer on your own anyway. there are meetings seperate fromm aa for family members. maybe eventually she will go to one of those, on her own. in the mean time I hope she will give you the love and support you need at home but I think she is right by not holding your hand thru this.
2007-01-10 03:33:45 · answer #9 · answered by Kelly B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She may feel you need to take this first step on your own so that you are comfortable about discussing it. She may also want to see you are serious & willing to go it alone to prove it. Give her time I'm sure once you've gone a few times she will be there to support you. And I would also like to say good Luck and I'm proud
of you for admitting & taking the 1st big step.
2007-01-10 02:46:25 · answer #10 · answered by earthangel_candy 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋