my husband was a porn addict and i cant seem to enjoy sex with him b/c i keep thinking he isnt thinking about me, just the hoties in the maginznes and movies he looks at. i even cry somtimes. its turned itno an obsession to me. i cant help but to think about it every time he so much as kisses me. i want help so badly!!!
2007-01-10 02:20:57 · 29 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
no its you he feels no matter what the fantasy is it's you and he's not sheating so be happy he feel you not them,and he probably glad its you ,not those porn tramps used up screwed up
2007-01-10 02:25:58 · answer #1 · answered by Me 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Can you have serious discussions with your husband? Is he open to your ideas in other areas? If so, then you need to have a sit down with him and discuss your feelings. Tell him exactly the way it is and ask for his help. It is possible he can help allay your concerns and improve your "state of mind."
I never care much for counseling. In your case, however, if you cannot resolve this issue, I believe it might be beneficial. I think both of you must go. I do not believe you can resolve the problem alone.
I hope he got help for his addiction. It cannot just be turned off so he needs to be sure that it is under control. Again, the counseling could help here.
2007-01-10 02:34:35 · answer #2 · answered by ob_ms_man 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all you need to tell him how much he is hurting you. It really isnt abnormal for men or women to fantisize during sex though. Dont let it get to you so much. men are men! Maybe explain to him porn stars have SEX no feelings or emotions involved. And that man & wife make love, sharing body & soul ...connecting..and THAT'S REAL. If that dont help him change..(wink) next time give Patric Swayze or some other stud a try while your with him lol. Turn the tables on him...JUST REMEMBER TO CALL OUT THE RIGHT NAME thats very important.
2007-01-10 02:29:35 · answer #3 · answered by earthangel_candy 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Your husband has some unresolved issues. Why does he need to look at porn to make love to his wife? I can understand that you must feel devastated every time he makes love to you. Have you tried talking to him about this? Have you told him how you feel? Maybe even ask him why he feels that it is so necessary for him to look at porn so much.
But like drugs, an addiction to porn needs to be treated by a professional. I would suggest counseling for the both of you. He needs it to rid himself of his obsession and you need it for your own self esteem.
2007-01-10 02:27:40 · answer #4 · answered by David L 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do you have any good reason to believe he's thinking this way? Have you asked him? Does he says he's not, but you doubt him?
Look, you've just got to try to be as honest as you can with each other, and then take that at whatever value you feel is right. Don't make up stuff. You can't change the past. Lots of guys like porn, but have no problem getting completely into the person they're with.
2007-01-10 02:26:46 · answer #5 · answered by TimmyD 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
A stitch in time saves nine. you need professional help. cont take it lightly. You can do it without him knowing if you want. As for your information...porn is a part of growing up for men. I seen countless porn. but thats just fun....just like you watch any other movie. May be he seeked refuge in porn when sex was not easily available to him. and now it is. but after all said and done you need to remove the thought that is buried deep in your mind. Professional help is the best for that.
2007-01-10 02:32:54 · answer #6 · answered by Lord Of Lust 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This can ruin your marriage just like the porn can. I think it all boils down to your self esteem. You should be confident and please try to understand that it is not about you.
Men are visual, therefore they like to look; it does not mean that you are any less attractive or desirable. I know this is a hard concept to grasp, but it "save your going insane", and it is the truth.
I'm not sure that there is any man our there that is not at least tempted to look at porn, it's just something that the majority of them deal with.
You cannot change him, therefore you must change yourself . . . be confident in who you are, he will see a difference and it will turn him on. Not to say that porn issue will go away, but you can stop it from hurting you! Much love to you!
2007-01-10 02:33:02 · answer #7 · answered by lady_blu_iz 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does he still look at porn? I know what you mean, and sometimes the only way to get over it is to stop seeing him and find someone new that never had a porn problem.
2007-01-10 03:48:06 · answer #8 · answered by xquis81 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think your concern is valid. It is the same concern a woman may have if she knew your husband had an affair with another woman. It almost seems as if you are talking about another woman. This is an example of how pornography can ruin a relationship. You going to have to talk to him and explain that he needs to work at assuring you that you are the object of his affection. A lot of this is going to have to occur outside of the bedroom. He has to romance you and date you all over again.
2007-01-10 02:27:40 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-12-28 15:01:16 · answer #10 · answered by hanstine 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I enjoy porn; but never think about these women when I'm hot and heavy with my wife. Most men interested in porn are not comparing you to them. They are just watching the actions. I can honestly say: not even knowing you or your husband- he is not visualizing them when he is with you. He merely watches porn for the action of sex. Seriously, it has nothing to do with how he feels about you.
2007-01-10 02:27:40 · answer #11 · answered by Floss 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋