I need help, my heart is still in excrutiating pain from my husband cheating on me.?

Question

We aren't divorced yet, but we will be soon. I just need someone to tell me how and when this searing pain in my heart will end. What can I do? I live in the same small town as them and just can't bear the thought of them together. We were together 16 years and it's been over a year since he left. What am I doing wrong? I just want the pain to end, the sickness in my stomach to stop when I wake in the morning.. all of it. Please.. no rude answers, my heart is broken.

Answer 1

If it has been over a year and you are still in such pain, as this, then please seek a professional counselor to talk to. You probably need to get something to focus on also, such as a hobby or learning a new skill.

Answer 2

there is, unfortunately, no time table to follow for the break up of a marriage. each person hurt by divorce will begin a process for themselves. some people call it a new life. others a journey. and while you are on this journey, you will then begin experiencing just a smidgen less pain today then you did the day before. but the journey won't ne smooth nor relaxing. you will feel the pain and for that i am truly sorry. i know it all too well. only time passing will ease the pain. i'm sorry for what you are feeling. i suks big time.

any chance of your relocating to another town close by? for your peace of mind you see. not to make them more comfortable. to help you avoid having to witness their togetherness.

he's a jerk. she's a fool. they belong together. 16 years is a long time. i know, i served 16 years too (i'm being facitious). my marriage was 16 years when it went kaput. sad, but do-able now. i'm on my journey.

good luck honey.

Answer 3

sometimes we fail to move on because we are in denial, we still hold on to expectations that some miracle will happen and our life will return just the way it was. this person was our life, when he left he also took our idenity, so having a broken heart is normal. but at some point we have to begin to accept it for what it is, if we don't we stay stuck in it. sometimes we really just need to physically move out of the same town where we will run the risk of constantly seeing them. group therapy is also an option for us, this happened because of his choices, and there was nothing u could do to change it, as it isn't about u, it is about his need to boost his ego, sometimes there is no reason it happened, and we will never know the truth, and maybe we wouldn't want to know his truth. the pain doesn't just leave us, we have to begin to see it differently, and know it is over, and know we have to move on, find new things to replace the old things. look at it this way, even if he did come home, would u still love him like u did before, don't think so, would u still want him if u knew there was a real possibbility he could do the same thing to u again, would u really want this other woman in your life? he chose her and not u, the marriage can never be the same even if he did show up today at your door. u just built him up on this pedistole and never even amigined he could ever hurt u like this, but he did, and u can't undo the past, how long u stay i the pain will be determined on getting out of denial, and seeing him for the rat he is. and seeing yourself as a valuable person who played no part in this.

Answer 4

I was in the same situation as you, and I was pregnant at the time. It hurts really bad for a long time, but you'll eventually come to terms with it. It's been 8 years since it happened to me, and I've found an amazing man and my son is great. You just have to take one day at a time, and each day, then week, then month, you'll find yourself hurting a little less. Like they say...time heals all wounds. It's true, you just have to keep yourself busy so you don't think about it. Keep telling yourself that someday it won't hurt so bad anymore, and your better off without someone that would cheat on you. Someday you'll see this divorce as a blessing in disguise.

Answer 5

Sadly but true that sick feeling will never go away. I went through this when my dad cheated on my mother. however she wasnt as strong as you because she is still with him today. There is no advice that can be given to you to ease your heart ache. You need to understand that there is someone better out there or will treat you like the women you are. Keep your spirits high and your head and pride higher. Dont show any remorse because that is what is expected from you. Good Luck and I hope your mind can ease the pain from your heart.

Answer 6

Poor soul, sorry to hear it, and sorry, been there, it will be long
till you are normal again. Try to think about something else, buy a
couple of new clothes and go on vacation (but you still will be
feeling bad, and it'll seem to you that you hear him of just saw
somebody like him out there, or you will think "what is he saw me now,
the way I look"). May be as long as two years, or three,
depends on whether he is successful and happy with the other one.
Unless you'll do better than he and meet someone better looking and
more well-to-do. Just do not even try to meet someone new now, it's of
no use, you'll just feel worse. It helps a little to amuse yourself, I
do not know what you like though. I made videos, played with the
computer, read forums, played games on-line, listened to the new
music, read, watched DVDs, read fashion magazines, wrote and painted.
It'll be tough. I am sorry for you.

Answer 7

I am so sorry for all you have gone through and for all your sorrow---grieving is a process that is different for everyone---so dont put a time phrame on when you think you should be over this---a few suggestions---try to find a support group for either divorced people or even a grief support group--you are not the only one suffering and their are others who could help you----also think about going for some 1 on 1 counseling to work through some of this pain you feel----3rd---consider moving? I dont know if this is a possibility but i know if i was in your shoes it would be hard for me to have them in my face. lastly i would seek God ---He knows how you feel and ultimately He is the one who will bring healing into your life Blessings to you.

Answer 8

Move out and move on that is the best answer that I can give you. Fine an other person to fulfill that spot. I found my ex husband in my bed with a prostitute. That devastated me but I started to date some one more wonderful then he was and I been Happy ever sens, for the last twenty two years now.
Listen to this good proverb. Wen the king dies they find a replacement.

Answer 9

You need to seek some counseling right away. The pain and betrayal you feel is normal. You're not doing anything wrong. You are grieving the loss of a marriage broken by infidelity.

If you have children, please seek counseling immediately as the loss is affecting them too.

Go to your doctor and get a full physical. You may be depressed and need medication temporarily.
Good luck to you. Reach out for help.

Answer 10

I am truly sorry. You didnt and are not doing anything wrong. You dont need that prick, you deserve better you are radiantly beautiful, vibrantly alive and you are a treasure waiting to be found by your true love :) Tomorrow is a new day, a new beginning. No more sadness. Good luck sweetie, your broken heart will mend just give it time. Super glue also helps lol. Keep smiling and keep your chin up :)

Answer 11

Aww sweetie...i dont know when the pain is going to end...I havent been there...and everyone is different...I know that when my mother and father got divorced after 20 yrs(because he cheated) My mom didnt move on for 4 yrs after that...but after about 2 she stopped wondering what he was doing


Maybe what you need to do is get out more...Join something so you have something to look forward to every week

Good Luck