My b.f. of over a year told me last night that he loves me and wants to be with me but he is just not attracted to me. I've lost about 50 lbs since I'v e been with him and have been trying to get myself in to better shape. He says I am the best woman he has ever met by far but my physical state is just not what he is used to being with. I'm a size 14. He is overweight and has gained 50 lbs since we have been together. I love him and want to make this work, however I feel he feels I am not good enough. Isn't love supposed to be unconditional? Can this possibly work out and stand this test? I don't know if I should stay or go. My heart is broken.
2007-01-10 01:44:38 · 13 answers · asked by Sunshine's Pic Is on 360 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
One thing you should be happy about is that he tells you he loves you.......Attraction can just be a little while, he'll get over it and you will be his charming princess again.......
2007-01-10 01:51:19 · answer #1 · answered by J . B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should go. It may be the hardest and lonliest thing you ever have to do, but you should do this for yourself. You deserve to be loved, no matter what size you are, and you shouldn't be with someone who makes you feel that you are more than good enough.
Congratulations on losing the weight! You've worked so hard to get healthy physically. You should try to get healthy emotionally and it's very difficult to do that with someone who tells you that you aren't good enough.
There are lots of men in the world and they all have different ideas about what is attractive in a woman (thank goodness). There are many wonderful men who are naturally attracted to women who aren't stick thin. If you are lucky enough to find a man like that and fall in love, you will feel loved and confident. You will feel loved and sexy at size 14, at 9 months pregnant and even when you have the flu.
Good luck, and I'm sorry you're hurting.
2007-01-10 01:56:26 · answer #2 · answered by heluvagirl1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would have to say that he is being selfish. You are right, love should be more then just looks. He sounds like an immature loser. Don’t ever let a man make you feel that your not good enough. I bet if you dumped him, you could get ten better guys. Your fine the way you are, end the relationship, get in excellent shape. When he wants you back, do the same thing he just did to you! Since he has to loose weight also…
2007-01-10 02:20:45 · answer #3 · answered by AnnaG 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there are men who like to keep their woman fat so no one else is attracted to them, he may be afraid of losing you to another man. He also might be afraid you aren't attracted to him since he gained so much weight, and be trying to push you away to avoid hurt down the road. I would stick by him if I were you and show him that size does not matter if you love the person inside. He has issues of his own that he needs to come to grips with, and if you truly love him, help him, and you will be stronger than ever.
2007-01-10 01:56:51 · answer #4 · answered by Squirrley Temple 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen to yourself! Thisis guy making you have low self-esteem! You said you lost 50lbs and HE gained 50 lbs??! He should love you for who you are not how much you weigh! I cant believe your still with this guy. Does he not understand how hard it is to lose weight and get into shape?
Girl, you need to leave him ASAP! Do you know how many guys would just die to be with you. I think that you are wasting your time with this loser!
Pack up and go flaunt your body off to another guy who deserves you!
2007-01-10 01:52:21 · answer #5 · answered by 88776 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If all he can see in you your physical side than he is a fool. He does not sound like he has room to speak. Love is unconditional . You love him with out any conditions. So if he can't accept you for who you are totally, move on. I bet there is someone out there who will love you for who you are inside and out.
2007-01-10 01:49:26 · answer #6 · answered by caribbeanmeme 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u need to go. if he doesnt love u like u are and already trying to change u then it will only get worse. and its sad that u are trying to be more healthy but it sounds like he wants u to be unhealthier....thus causing physical condition in the future that might take ur life. he might be initimidated bc ur looking and feeling better while he is progressively getting worse. regardless, its not right for him to want to impair ur physical appearance and condition bc of his whims.
2007-01-10 01:49:13 · answer #7 · answered by jenivive 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he really loves u he will except u on the way u r...changing for a person is not having love but having conditions...suit ur self..decision is urs..
2007-01-10 01:52:05 · answer #8 · answered by -friend- 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sweetie im not one to go based on looks but i feel you must be attracted to some one to love them and if hes not attracted to you how does he love you? just a thought congrats on your weight loss by the way. but i wouldnt stay if he wasnt attracted to me.
2007-01-10 01:51:47 · answer #9 · answered by help 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
love should be unconditional.
sounds like he may be the one out of shape
2007-01-10 01:49:26 · answer #10 · answered by Laura B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋