Does saying I find black men (that I don't know) intimidating make me racist?

Question

I am a white middle aged female with absolutely no axe to grind. When a younger female colleague suggested the idea (in the context of a discussion about the Notting Hill Carnival) and I agreed, another colleague said we were racist. This really bothers me, because I don't think I am. But I would be interested to see what others think. I DO have black male friends!!

Answer 1

What you FEEL is usually the result of upbringing, culture, etc.
How you BEHAVE determines whether you are or are nor racist.

You do not sound that way to me.

PS You might be better asking some of those black friends if they find your attitude racist....and, if so, deal with it.
If not...relax and be yourself.

Answer 2

At first glance I would say no, but on further thought, I guess it boils down to WHY you are intimidated? Do males of another race that you do not know intimidate you as well? If so, it is most likely a natural defensive mechanism. If not, then the fear is probably based on stereotypes. This does not necessarily make you racist, just maybe culturally sheltered, or, to use the word again, stereotyping. The fact that being called racist means you are probably not truly racist, maybe just ignorant. (I am not using that word in an insulting manner. All of us have areas in which we do not have an excess of knowledge, and is part of what makes us diverse. As long as we acknowledge that, and continue to learn, it is not a bad thing.) If you find many unknown males intimidating, look into taking some type of self-defense class, or something like that. Sometimes if we build our confidence in our ability to protect ourselves, it changes our outlook on other people.

Answer 3

Hello,

(ANS) There is a massive difference in stating your honest feelings (i.e. such as I feel intimidated by some black men) & racism.

To understand the difference, one is your honest feelings or honest responses. However racism itself is more a condition of mind or a fixed negative attitude, a set of assumptions based on totally irrational ideas about an entire racial group of people. Its like says all black people are dirty (or all white people) why? how do you know that?? fact is you DONT but the point here is that its assumed even before the black person even opens their mouth to speak. Its a pre-conveived idea, usually a negative one.

**Your statement of honest feelings wasnt racist at all as far as I can see.

**Racism can work in both directions you know! a black person can be racist too (that would be called reverse racism & that's actually happened to me once along time ago). Some black people do sometimes accuse others of racism when its NOT true or its used as wind up.

IR

Answer 4

Yes, you're racist. Perhaps not consciously so, and all well and good having black friends, but you could only be intimidated if you somehow felt threatened by them. As the only thing you know about these people is that they are black men, you couldn't possibly have enough information to judge whether they represented a threat. I take it you are not "intimidated" by any other group in the same way. That means you are presuming something negative about black men solely because they are black men. That is racism. Now you've identified it, you can shake it out of your system. No-one knows where the threat out there is. Can you think of a black serial killer?

Answer 5

I am mixed with black and white, and still find groups of black people intimidating. The same goes for too many white people in one place. It just seems like the latest trend in black and white people (who wish they were black), is to prove that they are the most dominant presence in the world. I have seen all sides of both cultures due to the fact that I sit right on the fence. I mean I've seen them go to the extremes of almost killing someone just to prove that they are hard. I've once thought that was the "cool" lifestyle, but its just the vibe they give off. I'm pretty sure if you see a black man in his "thug wear" but speaking proper english, you wouldn't be intimidated. I am a professional now. I have a good job, and a college education. I've since learned that that lifestyle leads no where, and that if I want respect and people to be afraid of me, it's going to be in a professional sense. Don't know if this helped, but its my perspective on things.

Answer 6

if you find rappers on TV or young teens on the street that emulated that lifestyle intimidating, why not. But to just find a strange black man in a sweater and slacks intimidating is kind of weird. Unless he's a lot taller than you and very, very muscular. Some women find very masculine men intimidating

Answer 7

No, it does not mean that you feel superior to another race, it just shows that maybe you need to spend some more time around them to get to know them more and feel a bit more comfortable. Its easy to keep hearing all the statistics and rubbish about black crime and feel affected by it. The problem is caused by society, not the colour of someone's skin!

Answer 8

No, you've just been conditioned to feel like that by a racist society. I mean it's always a black person on the news who's done this or that. It's always the black guy in the movies who's murdered, raped or robbed. It's not your fault you're intimidated. It's just drilled into your brain. You're not racist.

Answer 9

Stereotyping ...Come on ....lets stop being PC - have you been watching the news ...all you see is the evil Black Men - lets describe them - Growling features, Big Black Bonces and that look of - Blankness in their eyes.. and the way they walk talk behave is nothing short of Animalistic.... Sorry to offend but the truth will obviously hurt some people ... Put it this way - if you are a Black Male hanging with your Homeboys in your neighbourhood ...and a the lovely Antonia passed by ....are you saying you wouldn't accost her in any way,...!? Thats the type of Black Males that make us Honky's feel intimadated & a tad racist - if you want to use the R word... Ordinary Blacks who want to live a law abiding integrated life with other races ...are just normal people same as us Honkys...
**To Black Females - do you ejnjoy being portraid in "Black" Music Videos as just peices of meat with big Butts ?

Answer 10

A racist? I don't know. Someone with some serious hangups? Quite possibly. If you found some men / people in general to be intimidating then I would say that's normal.