I'm curious about relationship dynamics of couples in general. I've read accounts on the internet of partners who are in the process of or already have divorced their spouse (the often cited reason is infidelity) but they say that they still miss and care deeply about their spouse. If he/she had an affair, is a abusive or is irresponsible with drugs would those acts not make one dislike their spouse, rather than love?
2007-01-10 01:33:51 · 11 answers · asked by Joseph 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Marriage is supposed to be forever, and there's a bond.
2007-01-10 01:39:21 · answer #1 · answered by Joe C 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need more than love for a marriage to work.
Just living with someone requires certain tolerable characteristics. Addiction is a deal breaker for a marriage, but it's fathomable that one would still love the spouse who's destructive life style is tumbling him down hill, but a smart spouse would be able to seperate that love, from going down and crashing WITH him and walk away from the marriage.
Now in case of the cheating spouse, THAT's a whole other ball game. I can't imagine still loving someone who would care so little about you that they would trade you for a stranger as well as put your health and life in danger by sleeping around. That shows, not only a major prudence issue, but also a major character flaw that can't really be fixed.
Great question.
2007-01-10 09:49:06 · answer #2 · answered by TJTB 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been married, to the only wife I've ever had, for 20 years. So, I don't have an answer to your question based upon experience. However, I do accept that it is possible to be so angry at someone that you can't forgive her, but still love her. There may be factors that make it extremely emotionally difficult to live together, but you could still love the person. There's an old saying about hating the behavior but loving the person that would apply here.
2007-01-10 09:41:29 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you spend a lot getting to know and appreciate someone else, your feelings may change somewhat, but do not necessarily become dead or hateful.
If you just come to the conclusion that you were not really meant to be together, you may end up being the best of friends simply because you both understand each other better than most people do!!
2007-01-10 09:44:15 · answer #4 · answered by donna in wetumpka 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The opposite of love isn't hate, it's apathy.
It's very hard to switch from loving someone to not caring at all, so there's very often a mixture of love/hate feelings. You hate that person's behavior, but there are many aspects of the person you still love (i.e. the man who brings you coffee in bed every morning). Often, the love is felt for the memory. And it is possible to love someone and to dislike them and/or their behavior at the same time. Think of the last time your teenager said something hateful to you. You would lay down your life for them...but at that moment, you really dislike them.
2007-01-10 10:06:49 · answer #5 · answered by oj 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let me tell you what happened to me. I was married for 3 years with a one year old before I found out what my ex was up to. He was using cocaine and had begun a relationship with a girl he worked with who was also married. Well she ended up pregnant and of course after serious snooping I found out. At the time this happened my grandmother had just passed away the day before, my dad went into the hospital, and I found out I was pregnant. He moved out but came back two weeks later to try again. I ended up losing the baby at 6 months and he confessed he had not ended. I kicked him out and we divorced. So afterall that do I still love him. No. I care about his welfare and hope that he can be a father to our son. The feeling of being inlove with him is gone.
2007-01-10 10:10:06 · answer #6 · answered by Loves Ladybugs 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
love and hate are very close, one minute we hate them, and never want to see them again, the next we are wishing we had tried a little harder.my reason to divorce was infidelity, my ego, pride, hurt, and wanting not to be hurt again by him. had nothing to do with not loving him. just had a fear that if he did come back, that he would just leave again since he didn't give it too much thought anyway when he decided to cheat. i just knew there was a good possibility the cheating would happen again, and i did not want to invest and show my love to someone who left me and could very well leave me again. didn't want to put up with the possibility this other woman would continue to be in my life.
2007-01-10 09:52:07 · answer #7 · answered by jude 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No. The spouse doesn't want to deal with the issues so the remove themselves from the situation.
2007-01-10 09:38:58 · answer #8 · answered by sunshine23511 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can love and person and just simply not like what they do or their behavior. Thats like loving your spouse, but this person has a nasty drinking habit or drug habit. You love them and wish they could change, but you may have to remove yourself from them because it is causing you physical & emotional harm.
2007-01-10 09:42:04 · answer #9 · answered by Wisdom 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can care about somebody despite what he / she did.
You know his/ her good side from the past and know that maybe someday that can change back.
2007-01-10 09:40:34 · answer #10 · answered by John Th 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋