How can I encourage my husband to get out of the house?

Question

I love my husband. He works, does the yardwork, helps with the kids & loves to cook dinner. He has animals he loves & takes awesome care of them. However he rarely goes out. Three times a year he/we may go to a pub with mates to watch a final football game- he is drunk after 2 drinks. His friends invite him to golf, skirmish, music festivals, parties... He insists he would rather stay with the animals, visit his parents farm or go hiking with us. I love doing these things but sometimes I would like to go out to the theatre, festival, e.t.c... He always says I have other people I can do that with but I want to do it with him! I admit when we first met,(7 years ago), I said I did not like eating out,(big mistake!), & till this day we have never eaten out alone, only with our kids or friends/family. He picks me floweres & makes dinners but sometimes I just want to go out with him!! He wont go out with anyone! Should I accept him for all his loveliness & homeliness or what can I do???

When I said he gets drunk after 2 drinks, I was trying to make point out that he rarely drinks alcohol- maybe 6 drinks a year. He is completely straight.

Answer 1

this is a tricky one. yes, you need to accept and love him for the man he is and the way he is. i am the same way. he sounds like a wonderful man. the thing is, is he does need to do these things with you from time to time. you aren't asking for much...just a "date night" here and there. so what to do? my 1st suggestion would be this---plan a night, on your own, without his knowledge, for the both of you. make all the arrangements. a babysitter, if needed, reservations for dinner, buy tickets in advance for the theatre. the day of your "date" tell him what is going to happen. tell him how he should be dressed....casual, upscale, etc.. tell him when he should be ready to go. tell him there is no arguing about it. if he refuses to go, tell him you are still going, but the two of you are in for some serious problems.....then go by yourself or with a friend, and have fun. then walk away. get ready to go...dress very sexy and provocatively. subtlely tease him all day. by the time its time to go, he should be rarin' to go, and to get his hands on you. this man has to tend to your needs to a degree, considering he is your husband. you aren't asking for much, and you are not asking him to change who he is. your happiness should be foremost in his mind. good luck.

Answer 2

Don't ever try to change your husband; you never know what he'll change into. Consider: my grandfather was very much like your husband, and my grandmother finally convinced him to start going out more and start hanging out with his friends more. In less than 6 months he became a drunk. This was when my father was 3. My father has no memory of ever being allowed to own silver change. (In the US, that's anything over a penny.) If there was anything other than pennies in my father's penny bank, it was confiscated by his father to go to alcohol. This happened in less than six months time. Before he was going out, he worked 16 hour days six days a week and cooked dinner once a week and helped keep the house clean and in good reair. After? Worked 12 hour days, was out all night at least once a week, somtimes twice or three times (who knows who with and who knows doing what) didn't want anything to do with the kids and never had time or money to help with the house.

You married him the way he is, be happy with what you've got. Don't go trying to change him. If you try to change him, you may never get back what you loose.

Answer 3

It may seem an odd thing in todays world to be very content with the simple things in life but this certainly seems the case with your husband. Your husband has a full life with work, his family and his animals to care for. He sounds tender and sweet. My only concern would be is if he is using his apparent homliness in a controlling or manipulating way to manage and control your behaviour... (passive aggressive behaviour) However since he is happy for you to do these things with other people it does not sound like that is the case...so yes you should be content that your man has a life that is fulfilling and fulfilled and at the same time you can tell him that although you said you didnt enjoy eating out years ago these days you think differently and would like an occasional date with him alone.
Tell him too that you are a bit concerned that he does not go out with his mates and ask him to talk a bit about that, what is it like to be out with mates, what does he like about it and what does he not like about it... you may find he has perception that affects his reasoning for not going out and about..

Answer 4

Well, if this is your only problem, consider yourself lucky!!!!!

I think you should enlist the help of a family member or friend and once a month have them babysit and you drag him out. He may just be in a homebody rut. Tell him that its nothing you want to do ALL the time, but that its nice to get out every once in a while!

-And remind him that marriage is about compromise. If this is important to you then he should give it a try.

Answer 5

Didn't you know him before you married him? Sounds like you got it pretty good and you know, the grass is not greener on the other side. Love him as is and stop wasting time wanting something he doesn't want.

Answer 6

He sounds like a great guy. If this is his main fault, you should consider yourself lucky.

Answer 7

You got it good - dont knock it

Answer 8

do what my wife did, get fat and sit around all night watching tv...

Answer 9

leave the beer out there.