Spinoff: How Do You Move On After A Bad Break Up?

Question

Hi, this is a spinoff of my other question. Thank you for everyone's input. I cant answer on my own thread so I'm asking here:

How do you begin to pick up the pieces after you've been basically dumped? I tried to move on and forget about the past but it is sooo hard. When I'm out places and see a guy that reminds me of my ex or I imagine him being with his wife, it tears my heart apart. I am 30 years old and I have been through all the normal phases of make-ups to break-ups, but this is more intense. I feel stupid for the most part because I used to get drunk alot and argue with him constantly over petty stuff. He kept warning me that he was going to stop dealing with me, but I kept on. I keep getting confused because he just got married maybe 6 mos ago and he says he feels like he f*cked up his life.

We talk and the feelings are still there on both sides.We didnt have sex though,but it has been discussed.I dont believe in adultery, but my goodness I've never been this tempted.

Answer 1

if u have been dumped, and he married someone else, he is basically saying he doesn't want to be with u anymore. basically we just need to stay away from temptations, stay away from him, in all areas, as he did marry someone else, and why mess up her life, because u want him. u need to focus on your behavior, and how u act in relationships, if u expect to ever have a good one with someone. this one is definitely over with, why complicate your life any farther here, by having an affair with a married man. it does tear our hearts apart when we love someone, but stay out of the past, focus on your future and how u deal with life. keep away from him, as u may only get hurt worse. don't set yourself up for heartache and disappointment, and don't ruin his marriage.

Answer 2

He has gotten married, he is off the market. If you are no longer drinking, be proud of where you are in your life and the accomplishments you have made. If you are still drinking, maybe it is a problem and you should stop. You are tormenting yourself. Find a group of friends to help occupy some of your time. If you see someone that reminds you of him, introduce yourself. Generally speaking, it is a person's phyiscal features that you are first attracted to, unless you fall in love with your best friend after getting to know the real person underneath it all. If his life is f*cked up, it isn't because of something you did, but the way in which he allowed it to affect him. Also, be aware that sometimes we just want what we can't have and if we could have it, we wouldn't want it anymore. If he will cheat on his wife, he will cheat on you. Just something else to think about.

Answer 3

I'm so sorry about your break-up. I know that they suck, and you must be hurting.

Try to keep yourself occupied as much as possible. Surround yourself with family and friends, dive in to work with renewed gusto, take up a hobby that you've always wanted to try. Get rid of anything that reminds you of him, and fill your life with as many other things as you can, so that the space left for your memories for him is as small as possible. It'll still hurt, and this plan won't be easy, but believe me, the less time you spend moping around about him, the easier it'll be to get some perspective and move on.

Good luck.

Answer 4

Boil some water, enable it cool til heat, then upload salt. sparkling the wound gently with this known. it is going to sting, consistent with danger plenty, yet that's envisioned. Get your self some TCP or besides the fact that scientific disinfectant you have and make up a vulnerable answer and bathe the wound with that. this could sting much greater. conceal with a gauze dressing and tape the gauze down. you ought to tape it down sufficient to end the wound being pulled aside too plenty. it won't heal by applying the two aspects sticking jointly. The wound will scab over and scar tissue will connect the two aspects jointly. relax the limb and attempt to get to a doctor. He could supply you antibiotics if he thinks it quite is contaminated, however out of your description, it in all danger isn't. It quite won't require stitches, however hospitals can glue some wounds.

Answer 5

definately dont go for him again... him getting married should psych yourself up enough that its over. But its gonna take time no matter what. Find a hobby, or some more friends that can just take your mind off him and focus on good times with other friends.

Answer 6

Things are screwed up enough without you seeing this man. It is not fair to his bride or to you. Leave him alone and if he gets a divorce then try again. If he is with his wife then chances are he is telling her something completely different than what he tells you. Breaking up his marriage will not make you feel better. Date and forget him, he is a MARRIED MAN!