Prolouge-
craesha and zarm two athom siblings had lived in forest since their parents died. a good friend, zalia tordanis, had taken care of them until they had grown old enough to look afetr themselves.zalia and they had mad a strong freindship in their tim in the forest.
The people of the forest were kind to them and they provided them with food and clothes. the trees gave them shelter and colled them through the heat of the day.
one cool morning they were out learning the language of the trees, for now they could carry out a conversation with an oak,beach,or maple. craesha was speaking with a young birch sappling, when suddenly it refused to say another word to her.she rose confusedly and walked over to her brother, zarm.
they were being watched.up in the bows two figures were crouching.rahasha a sly young womanand kamir an equally skilled young man. they were starring down at the two slender forms standing beneath them. athoms are not very bright but skilled with swords...
2007-01-10 01:10:30 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Arts & Humanities ➔ Books & Authors
The story details, honestly, sound very interesting to me. But, what I can gather of your writing style from the bit you've presented, it is very rushed. I think you're probably excited to get to the next scene which you already have in your head, but you need to take your time leading the reader there. Maybe describe the people of the forest and what's been going on with them. Have some dialog between the siblings or the trees before introducing the 2 shadowy figures. And wait a little before you identify them to intrigue the reader so they are anxious to find out who they are. I have a friend who also has a creative streak, but found the details in writing books tedious. He ended up getting into screenwriting and now wants to move into directing. As long as you enjoy what you're doing, stick with it and see where it takes you.
2007-01-10 01:41:36 · answer #1 · answered by Sam C 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
I was interested in your idea and would read more, but i think there are some things you probably need to work on. There are some spelling and gramar problems in it. Also there isnt a lot of set up here (maybe it comes late i dont know) but there isnt a lot explination to understand what these creatures are what kind of world they live in, just background to get us more invested in the characters and thier plight. Its a great start but keep working on it polishing it, adding where need be, trimming here and there. The best novels go though SO many drafts and what not to get it down to the best story possible. Its a great start though, definately worth spending more time on.
2007-01-10 01:19:40 · answer #2 · answered by Courtney C 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Meh, anti-hero isn't necessarily evil. And, yes, there are plenty of books with anti-hero characters - he also needs to have qualities to root for or like because a completely unlikeable character will be a turn off to most readers. An anti-hero might do bad things, but he's not completely evil. Dexter is an example of an anti-hero on TV. American Psycho has such a character.
2016-05-23 03:44:34 · answer #3 · answered by Nedra 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Clean up the sentence structure and the imagery.
The sentences seem unrelated to each other, so much jumping around. It's difficult to setup a relationship with this world and the characters. Make me CARE about them.
Reads like a bad script instead of just bad prose.
Sorry. On top of a complete rewrite, I suggest you get a good editor.
.
2007-01-10 04:56:47 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Spelling.
Punctuation.
Grammar.
Any editor seeing something this poorly presented would fire off a standard form-letter rejection without even reading the first paragraph completely.
If you wish to be a writer, spelling counts. Punctuation and grammar count as well. Presentation is everything. No editor wants to waste his or her time mucking through your bad composition skills to produce something that can be published, no matter how good your story may be.
2007-01-10 01:21:14 · answer #5 · answered by sewmouse 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Very good concept. Needs a good editor though, to correct the spelling and grammar and polish it a little. Don't be too worried about people who say you need good spelling and grammar, those can be corrected. What you can't correct is pacing, characterization and the "x" factor that makes people want to read more. People put too much emphasis on spelling and grammar -- if the book grabs me and doesn't let go, if I want to read more about it, if it transports me from this world into the world of the book, then I think it's a good book. If you have good spelling and grammar, then great, it will mean less work for the editors. If not, I think people will still take you on.
2007-01-10 01:23:20 · answer #6 · answered by One 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
You need to work on your grammar, spelling, and punctuation.
And so far your story does not go anywhere. If you want an opinion about it, write a synoposis.
2007-01-10 01:19:51 · answer #7 · answered by cirestan 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
2 points
2007-01-10 01:17:25 · answer #8 · answered by klubbandy575 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Sounds like an anime cartoon. Maybe good for an anime story.
2007-01-10 01:17:37 · answer #9 · answered by fan_wan :-) 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Sounds like you have a descent story line going. Different. It'll probably sell.
2007-01-10 01:19:03 · answer #10 · answered by Texas Pineknot 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋