My husband and I are getting separated. We've both agreed to this. I've been sleeping on the couch for months. There just isn't anything there anymore, we have other issues, but we've been to marriage counseling and we've also agreed it isn't working. I've been very lonely. I was just wondering, is it ok for me to start a relationship with someone else if I find someone while we're separated? What if I fall in love with someone else? Do I have to wait until I'm divorced to have a relationship with that person?
2007-01-10 00:56:32 · 10 answers · asked by Jenna 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
We've been married 4 years. We have 3 kids.
2007-01-10 03:48:07 · update #1
Id wait till u are living in different households, to even think of actually dating someone else.. would be hurtful if either of u started dating while the other was still in the household feelings are still there..even if its not love anymore,.. so if i were u i'd wait till ur actually seperated out of the same household but after that ur not living as husband and wife so do as u will in ur "own" house.
2007-01-10 01:20:52 · answer #1 · answered by brwneyedgrl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi there !!!
Sounds to me like you are going through a lot of pain. Divorce is so painful.I know because I have been there.
Sweetie you should definitly wait until you are divorced. Don't complicate your life anymore than what it is.
How long have you been married for?
I wish I knew more about what is going on to be able to give you some advice.
I would wait if I were you, definitly. You are still married, comtitted to your husband regardless of what is going on. Remeber we are suppose to be with our spouse for good or bad. Adultery should never be considered, ever. That only causes problems and pain. Remember that a man who respects you will not put you through this ( an affair)
but then it is you who has to respect yourself at all times.
I am sorry you are going thru all this pain, I know many times we seek relief from pain but never ever honey do something unmoral like adultery. Get together with friends, and with your family, go to the church of your choice, get a hobby, don;t blame yourself for this happening.
Is there any children ?
If you have kids, is there anyway you can save your marriage? I read that the marriage counsler aggreed it was not working, ok, but why? There always is an answer to a question,
Some times we have to give a little extra to make things work in a marriage,
I wish you all the best,
Love light and peace
2007-01-10 01:19:15 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Only in rare instances does a relationship formed during seperation/divorce last. I would save yourself some trouble and just wait. How long do you plan to stay seperated? After you two decide to proceed with the divorce it should only take 90-120 days if it is an amicable one.
I say that if you know 100% for sure that this marriage is NOT going to work then go on with your life and file. Good luck with whatever you decide and remember - at the end of the day its YOUR life and if you can lay your head on your pillow at night at peace with yourself then thats all that matters.
2007-01-10 01:21:46 · answer #3 · answered by sierraskyesmom 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to your husband. Sometimes a separation is seen as a step towards working things out, and sometimes it's seen as a step towards getting back together, and sometimes it's seen as a "let's see what happens" step. Also, sometimes the prospect of your significant other actually starting another relationship is enough to kick things into gear. At any rate, you'd hate to do it and then end up with the short end of the divorce decision because you were having an affair.
2007-01-10 01:16:25 · answer #4 · answered by Sean J 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Several questions arise but the most important issue is, if you have children, wait until you are living in seperate households before dating anyone, and do not do it in the presence of your children, it could jeopardize your relationship with them and your reputation during your divorce.
Do not move in or allow anyone to move in with you until the papers have been signed and its over with! Better yet, take plenty of time to be single before entering the dating scene. Be a self-sufficient woman so you will stay that way; men do not "complete" us! We can be our own worse enemy by not seeing our own worth and happiness as being important to our children as much as it truly is. You'll have plenty of time later for your sex life, now it's time to take care of getting divorced. It might seem like it takes forever (during the process), but well worth your childrens' respect and possibly pay off with better settlement of divorce.
Good luck, I've been there, nothing can be harder. ITS WAR, treat it as such!!! If you don't believe me now, you will when it's over. But also, nothing is worse than a sad, worn-out relationship that won't die and two people unwilling to do anything about it. God will get you through it, one way or another!
2007-01-10 01:14:10 · answer #5 · answered by Sherry C 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
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2016-05-23 03:43:53 · answer #6 · answered by Nedra 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In order for you to start another relationship you would have to be living in another household. Otherwise there is a chance that he could get you for adultry if he gets a good lawyer.
2007-01-10 02:40:36 · answer #7 · answered by Pandora 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
married is married, if you go to court with a boyfriend in your life you may be in deep dodo wait till the marrage is over
2007-01-10 01:05:12 · answer #8 · answered by bluelitttt 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
seperation is like a trial divorce and its fair game. Go out and find yourself a great guy
2007-01-10 01:03:43 · answer #9 · answered by Mike 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yes you need to wait until you are divorced. If not he can get you for adultery.
2007-01-10 01:03:30 · answer #10 · answered by jeter2 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋