I Still Love My Ex, Should I Call Off My Wedding?

Question

I know that I still love my ex and I dont want to hurt my current fiance. I tried to express my feelings to him and he has been an emotional wreck every since. I didnt want to lie to him and pretend to be happy because he said he could sense it from me all the time. I would even cry after sex because I miss my ex so much. My ex was married last summer in an arranged marriage and I was devastated by it. He is from Bangladesh and I am American. I tried to move on and start dating again. I didnt know I was going to get proposed to that soon. (Within a couple of months)

I told my ex about the engagment and he doesnt want me to get married and has turned extremely jealous too. I feel so trapped because I love my ex, but he is married now. I can not marry someone and look them in the face at the alter knowing that I love another man.

What should I do?

Answer 1

What should u do?? Lets see.. u have a man that loves u yet u cant seem to love him back the way he deserves because your still hung up on a man that is now married to another..

First thing u need to do is not marry anyone.. because not to be rude, but u shouldnt even be speaking to your x , not in a romantic, stroll through the past or what could of been way, out of respect for the marriage he is now in, whether its arranged or not, u need to show his marriage respect.. how would u like it if u were married to a man and the ex gf and him were still in touch talking about would of , could of been type stuff ??? Nor if ur engaged to someone else should u be disrespecting ur husband to be in such a manner either. And u'll never get over him if ur going to sit there and let him string u along.. and thats what he's doing, by still talking to u and getting jealous of ur new bf etc.. making u feel like he still wants u, when he should be focusing on his wife.. although ur not cheating on ur fiance physically u are mentally, and so is the x bf on his wife.. so in a sense ur both already committing adultery and ur not even married yet but you've promised urself to another...for marriage so its pretty much the same thing..

You need to let your finace go.. he deserves someone that will love him 100% and not just settling for him..

You need to stay away from the x cut off all communications with him, i know thats hard, but its the only way u'll get over him and move on , and give yourself a fighting chance of a future and his marriage a fighting chance. He's not going to leave her for u, he already proved that by marrying her that u werent worth fighting for, not his family nor tradition , and im sorry, if he "really " loved u nothing would of stood in his way of being with u .. so he's already shown ur not worth fighting for.. time for u to wake up .. and realize that infactuation, and love are totally 2 different things..

Do both of them a favor and go do some maturing on your own before u ruin everyones lives , ur's , the fiance's , and the x bf's...

Answer 2

Why would you even consider marrying someone if you have unresolved feelings for your "ex"? You need to learn to deal with your feelings so you can "move on". Until you are able to work through those issues, you have no business being in a relationship with anyone, let alone being "engaged". You are emotionally unable to "commit" to anyone.

You may not want to hurt your fiance, but you will be doing much worse to him if you marry him. Doesn't he deserve better than you are able to offer him? Of course he's going to be hurt, but you owe him the truth, no matter how difficult it is to tell him. You allowed him to believe he had a future with you, so it's up to you to resolve the situation.

Marriage between two mature and commited adults, who love and respect each other, is difficult enough - why do you think something like half of all marriages fail? You are setting yourself and your fiance up for failure if you marry him.

You are being immature and selfish, why else would you tell your "ex" that you are going to get married? You did it solely to obtain the response you were hoping to get from him. He has no business being "jealous" or asking you to not marry someone else. He gave up that right when you divorced and he made a commitment to someone else.

Both you and your "ex" sound like you need some serious counseling. He obviously should have received some before he married someone else. You should learn from his mistake and not make the same one by getting married to your finace.

I think you could really benefit from some professional counseling, if nothing else it can help you to resolve your feelings so you will be able to make an informed decision about your future. You owe it to yourself, good luck.

Answer 3

Well, the facts are that your ex has moved on and is in fact married. For him to be wanting you to not get married is his way of keeping control over you and your activities. If you do not love the guy that you are engaged to then call it off but for the right reasons.
You need healing time from your ex relationship-so ask your fiance to give you time-just cut all communication with your ex until you figure out what you really want and don't let others make that decision for you.

Answer 4

First of all your ex should shut up, he has no right to tell you not to get married! He is married, arranged or not. If he does love you he would not get married in the first place or at least he wouldn’t mind you marry someone else. I think that you should brake with your ex, he does not seam like a person worthy of your feelings.

You must talk to your fiancé, tell him all about it. You must have some feelings for him; otherwise you wouldn’t be together with him in the first place!?

Is your ex your first real relationship? Maybe this is the underlying reason for your mixed feelings; it may not be affection for him as much as your own mind sort of being a bit scared?

What ever you do, you must be very open to fiancé, don’t hide anything.

I hope it will all work out fine for you!

Answer 5

First, don't get married unless you're totally commited to your future spouse. Second, get over the married guy, if anything he'll cheat on his spouse to be with you, just as you would cheat on your fiance. If the married guy doesn't love his wife, why did he go through with being married...even if it was arranged? If he is still married, why doesn't he file for divorce, if he loves you? That's the biggest question, does the married guy love you? If so, why is he still married to the other woman instead of you? I think I would pospone your wedding just so you can figure things out. If your ex has no intentions of divorcing, then you definately should move on.

Answer 6

Do you even favor to ask --- What a fashion to inform someone that the marriage off because i love my ex--- Why do you adore your ex- fantastically pondering he's you EX and that issues between you 2 did not artwork. you've someone that you SUPPOSEDLY are in love( or love) and wanted to spend a life-time with yet now you pick to get lower back with some thing that did not artwork in the previous. Do you extremely imagine that it would want to very last the second one time round???!!!!!

Answer 7

I suggest you not get married until you can sort out ALL of your feelings, you might want to focus your attentions elsehwere than on a married man. Obviously even HE married his wife under false pretenses. If SHE were smart she would know that she has him "over a barrel" and could walk away from the marriage with just about everything because of it.

Answer 8

You shouldn't get married if this is how your feeling. Just know though your ex is now married so he's off limits. You have to first deal with this though and get over your ex. I think communicating with him is the wrong way to be doing this since you can not get over someone you keep in touch with. Good luck to you ;o)

Answer 9

I disagree with the previous answers.....I have been divorced from my first wife for 15 years now and am in a relationship now....and I have always loved my ex-wife....and always will...but that does not say that I should quit loving someone else or does it say that I should be alone forever.....its just simply saying that she was the love of my life....but that life is over!

So you go on and get married and be happy....and remembering what you used to have and the love you have or had for your ex is perfectly OK.

Answer 10

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