3 year anniveersary coming up and it's really hard work right now.
2007-01-10 00:24:40 · 29 answers · asked by Doodle 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Marriage is work. Anyone who thinks the "white picket fence" scenario is the meaning of marriage is clouded. Marriage is compromise, you are putting yourself at 50% instead of 100% for decision making, there is someone else you have to consider. Marriage is commitment, staying loyal and true, and avoiding temptation because of your commitment. Marriage can be tough.....it takes work day in day out. You have to learn to not be selfish, you have to put yourself in a frame of mind to put someone else first......But, there are many, many positives to marriage as well. Who is that one person you can sleep comfortably with at night and never feel "alone"...Who is that one person you can depend on when you are feeling down to be there with a simple hug. Who is that one person that can drive you to work because your car is in the shop. When you are sick, there is someone there to take care of you, nurture you, help you. One person who knows you for all of your faults and still loves you, supports you. The more work you put in to a marriages success, the better off you will be, and the easier it will be. You will learn from your battles, and learn from your compromises. It takes dedication and maturity, but I wouldn't trade it for anything, I feel very blessed to have someone in my life who chose to be with me through every high and low. Congratulations on your commitment of 3 years, put a smile on your face! Marriage is worth the work and effort!!!!
2007-01-10 00:43:02 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, that's a question you will have to wrestle with, but we've been married 36 years and I would have to say YES, it's worth it, but I was also fortunate to have chosen a mate who has a LOT of tolerance, patience and intelligence.
A long term relationship - married or otherwise - is not the easiest thing, because there are just so many people who are not mentally mature enough to make it work.
Couples may not actually have enough common interests. Sometimes there's too much separate activities, separate friends, etc.
Sometimes there's just too much "me,me, me."
Sometimes young couples (or even older ones) are so busy working to pay for all the material things they want, that the relationship suffers from not enough time spent together, so....what happens is you get this mistaken notion of "quality time." Naturally, you want this "quality time" to be great and wonderful and fun, etc., and often it doesn't turn out that way because you're burnt out from work, stressed out, etc.
2007-01-10 08:59:21 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, as someone who has had a 10 year marriage and a 10 year relationship without marriage I don't actually see the difference between them. They are both hard work. If you have young kids then it is very hard work. Find some time to talk to your spouse - communication is the one thing that will see you through it. You need someone else on your side - and as your spouse is probably feeling the same - seems logical to let them be the one.
2007-01-10 09:31:43 · answer #3 · answered by intelligentbutdizzy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why is it hard work? If you married the right person it is definately worth it. It's not always plane sailing but if you make an effort and don't argue about the little things then you should be ok. Don't take each other for granted either. My husband and I have been married for 4 years in July and we still go out on occasional dates (with each other I mean). Keeps the romance going.
2007-01-10 08:31:00 · answer #4 · answered by Jackie S 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just celebrated 13 years on monday. Got married in the first place because I was pregnant, people said they'd give us 5 years tops....
It's been ***ing hard work but YES IT'S WORTH IT! My husband and I have both had our wobblies and have both been over to see if the grass is greener on the other side but do you know what? It so isn't! Unconditional love is so rare these days and it is so sad to see that marriage means so little. Don't become a statistic, as with everything - no guts, no glory!
Good luck and TALK to each other!
2007-01-10 08:30:43 · answer #5 · answered by zweebob 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Married 24 years next month. Hang in there - they say the first 7 years are the hardest in any marriage. If the love is there then it is worth the effort.
2007-01-10 09:09:34 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage is never an easy ride - life throws its ups and downs at you and it's easy to take each other for granted and forget where your priorities lie. Personally I think it is worth the effort. My husband was away a lot with the army and I had months of not having someone to share stuff with - I couldn't go back to that again. Maybe you need to do something together that takes you away from all other stresses and remember what you love about each other.
2007-01-10 08:36:37 · answer #7 · answered by judy b 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, yes, yes!!! I have been married almost 17 years now and I don't know what I would do with out my guy. He is the best thing that has ever come into my life...and he gave me three beautiful, healthy wonderful children as well. They are the icing on my cake of life!! There have been plenty of hard times... death, family issues, money issues, work issues, dirty socks on the living room floor issues, health issues...and I can't think of going through any of it without him by my side. He has given me more support than anyone else ever could. He sticks by me and puts up with my mood swings, my weight gains and losses, and my totally weird family. He is helping me find and follow my dream...he is my sanity in a crazy over-scheduled life. He has taught me about football and I have taught him....probably nothing except what is important to our daughters from a girl's point of view. Hang in there...marriage is hard work. It ebbs and flows like the tides of the ocean. And it runs as deep. It will get better if you work on it through the tough times. It is very much worth it!!! Best wishes...
2007-01-10 08:42:04 · answer #8 · answered by Barbiq 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have kids then you have to make that effort, and sometime you won't be able to do it alone and may need some guidance from a professional. If there are no kids then you can cut and run, we all learn from our mistakes (at least we hope to learn), and next time you'll just live with her without marriage for as long as necessary without the ancient ritual of marriage getting in the way.
2007-01-10 08:30:06 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
marriage is like a job if your don't do the work it will not last long. i love my work and my marriage and i now have 9 years under my belt. so yes it worth the effort. to say happy and complete.
2007-01-10 08:44:19 · answer #10 · answered by celticdragon 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋