how to forgive someone when they have betrayed your trust?

Answer 1

First, has the person acknowledged his or her guilt and asked to be forgiven? Don't go into the whole question before that happens. You can accept that you were a victim and forgive yourself any errors of judgment involved in trusting someone too quickly, and move on. But why forgive someone who has harmed you without admitting his fault and begging your forgiveness? I know there are those things about "turn the other cheek," but frankly, that's a big reason why I am not a Christian.

Anyway, let's say he has asked you to forgive him. Now you evaluate the concept, "Suppose I refuse? Suppose I say no, what you did was literally unforgivable. What then?" Will you eventually feel you were too hard on the person, that it was really not unforgivable? Then don't do that. Say, I want to forgive you, but I need time to forget. I'm sorry, but it's like that. And it will take time to learn to trust you again. You see that's realistic, don't you?

And take that time. If the person is sincerely repentant, that will show, and you will just let it fall behind you, and begin treating him as if it did not happen.

I left off the "him or her" routine after the first, for convenience. It's the traditional English language way to do, you know.

Answer 2

You have to take things one day at a time, they need to slowing regain your trust by proving that they aren't going to betray you again. Try and be more honest with each other, it will help to relieve some of the tension. Try and think of the good traits about the person, and flush away you paranoid fears when they pop up. Only time will help to fix things, and still then, sometimes they can't be fixed. The betrayal of trust is a big thing that can't just be swept away, it is o.k. to not forgive someone and to cut them out of your life, sometimes it is the best for everyone to just start over.

Answer 3

You can and should never again trust someone who has betrayed your trust, but by putting enough emotional (and therefore physical) distance between you, you will in time be able to forgive, because your life will have moved on and the betrayal will no longer seem important.

Answer 4

Forgiving doesn't mean you have to let them do it again. Forgive them, then remember their nature. Don't make another mistake with the same person. Life is short, I am getting there and it's all true. Life is whizzing right on by!! No time for betrayal. But we are commanded to Forgive and it fights ulcers and those dark gloomy corners of the room. Forgiveness can FREE the one who forgives. Never give up on forgiving no matter how long it takes you to forgive. It's for your peace and well-being. (Just don't pop up and ask to get kicked again!!) Good Luck!! @8=)

Answer 5

If you don't have to be around them anymore it's easier. However, if you are constantly in their company you will be reminded of the pain. Therefore, if you can separate yourself from them for your own sanity.

It's important to forgive, because the bitterness that you hold in will poison you. Let it go and you'll be free. If you can do this then the one that caused your pain will no longer have a hold on you.

How? Will it so. Just the way you throw out the trash - throw out your mental and emotional trash. As you drive by that empty lot on the way home from work or school, heave your pain and hate in it and LEAVE it there. If you feel some more bubbling up then mentally go to your field and dump it there. It is for your own mental health.

Answer 6

Bravo! For even asking the question! Many people never get this far in the difficult process of forgiving, but YOU have, and you will be the better for it. Forgiveness is of greater benefit to you, yourself, than it is for the person being forgiven. Your blood pressure will be lower, and your overall health will improve. You can spend your precious time and efforts on positive goals to improve your life, instead of wasting time plotting revenge. You will shame the offending person by demonstrating character traits he/she might wish to have for himself/herself. Let me be the first to congratulate you for taking this direction in your life!

Answer 7

If remorse is in his/her demeanor and their willingness to accept that what was done would take you awhile to get over,do not just walk up to them and forgive but do stand by.

Answer 8

yes you should always forgive...

But, to trust this person again is a different issue...

Answer 9

its a human tendency that, he takes revenge. But forgiveness is something divine

Answer 10

it relatively relies upon on what occurred, and thankfully i under no circumstances had to make that decision yet, yet i understand that if it replaced into my bf and if he cheated on me i wouldnt forgive him........ever..