my son recently asked me "why do people go to church",to which i replied "because some people believe in god"

Question

he then asked if i believed in god, i told him no, but now i`ve been told i shouldn`t have said that. so should i lie to my son??he`s 6 years old.

Answer 1

I'm not 'the' churchgoer in my house. (I'm the Christmas, weddings, funerals and marriages man etc).
My wife is the religious one and our 3 kids (7f, 10m,12m) all go to Catholic schools and I support her and them all in that.

They've been asking the same question from about the same age. (And when they asked how come Dad doesn't have to go, I had to make the effort and go more often).

My wife would give a different answer. When she grew up in Ireland, it was because 'you had to go'.
But I tell them its so you can go say your prayers and pay your respect to 'your God, what ever you God, or your image of God may be'.
I also pointed out that our house has a lot of double glazing whereas the Church doesn't (probably why its cold all the time), and therefore he was more likely to hear your whilst at Church.
(That one expired about age 7 though).

I would say you were right not to lie to him. Kids know, even six year olds.
But being six, you can't explain that you don't believe God because of "this that and the other", because they probably won't understand.
Likewise, you can't say "well its your own personal choice, would you like to make that choice now", because again, 6 is probably to young.
Perhaps being econical with the truth might help and not answering that question directly until he is older would have helped.

But unless you are taking him to Church each week, or you intend to bring him up in a religious environment, you haven't done him any harm, in fact, by being truthful and honest, you've probably done him some good.

If the person that told you lying would have been better is a Churchgoer, doesn't that sound a bit daft. (Would they turn a blind eye to a few commandments being broken here and there??.. Don't think so).

It's a personal thing.. As he gets older, you and him will both be able to make choices together. As he gets older still, he'll start making those (church) decisions on his own.

As I said above I will support my wife in her decision to bring the kids up as Catholics, and that they will go to Church with my wife when she asks them to, but I also made her agree that as and when they are old enough and mature enough to decide for themselves, that providing they give a good reason, (and not just that they would rather stay at home and play the Xbox), that we would support them in their decision.

Faith and Religion is a personal thing, so yes, you were right to say what you did and how you said it.
There could have been a better way, but just as rightly, there could be worse ways to do it.

If you are as honest in life as you were in this decision your six year old is a lucky boy.

Chris

Answer 2

No way, your telling him the truth, I dont believe in god of any kind, im an atheast, so i can pretty much say this without being influenced, but I am 16 and I believe that you teach your children, through your own actions, and the person who told you that you did the wrong thing, is not your sons parent. You are your sons parent and if you want to tell him the truth then go for it, but I would also let your son know that in this case he shouldn't worry about it until he is old enough to make his own mind up about if he wants to believe in god, and at his age at 6, he should just be living life, and loving it.

Good Luck,

Toby
Age: 16

Answer 3

Since your son is only six, it is up to you to guide him until he is old enough to make his own "informed" decisions in life. At his age I don't honestly think he's able to fully understand what he's asking you. I don't think you should "lie" to your children, but I don't think you needed to tell him that you don't believe in God either.

Religion is a very personal thing, everyone has their own beliefs (and is entitled to them). Personally I think life is much more enjoyable when it's "balanced". Just as "work" and "play" enhance your well being and life, so does "spirituality".

Whether you personally believe in "God" or some form of "higher power", doesn't really matter. But as far as your son is concerned, I don't think it's fair to "shut the door" on God. As a parent you should allow him to explore his spirituality so that when he becomes an adult, he can decide for himself.

Sometimes we don't need to let our children know how we personally feel about a given situation or person. If you were terrified of dogs, would you instill that in your child? If you disliked your in-laws (their grandparents), would you tell them? I would hope not.

I'm sorry if this isn't the answer you were looking for, it's only my opinion. Raising children can be difficult, they don't come with an instruction manual. We all do the best we can, good luck to you.

Answer 4

You are appearing like evolution is a few kind of creature available in the market. It isn't. It is a organic mechanism. Do you consider that being pregnant has a moral sense and will consider? Evolution may be very useful. There is not anything available in the market creating a moral sense choice that a creature gets a designated version or now not. It comes right down to mutation. We all have mutations. You are not able to get via an afternoon with out getting a brand new one of a few kind. They are very insignificant and most often imply not anything. Most mutated cells die rapidly. However a few mutations can provide the animal an expertise. Lets say there's a organization of animals. They dinner party on leaves. In the spring, the leaves at the bushes are ample. The animals feed like loopy. However, as spring passes and summer season begins the on hand leaves at the bushes are quickly eaten. The most effective stuff left are the leaves extra up the tree. The animals within the organization which can be taller than the others can have an expertise and will devour those leaves. They have a bigger threat of retaining nourished and feature a bigger threat to maintain on residing. This signifies that there shall be a bigger threat that their genes (adding the genes that dictate how tall they had been) shall be handed on. The different animals with out the tall gene will as a rule live to tell the tale however with smaller odds. They have a smaller threat of passing on their genes. Given sufficient time, increasingly animals of the populace shall be taller considering the tall gene can have a bigger threat of being passes on. Lets say that an animal within the organization has a mutation that offers a somewhat longer neck. This offers that animal much more of an aspect and a bigger threat of survival. Once once more, the mutated gene that prompted the longer neck has a bigger threat to be handed on. Given sufficient time, the gene will make it into the populace and extra animals can have the longer neck. The animals with out the gene will must compete with those who do. The ones with the gene have a bigger threat of surviving and passing at the gene. Now, multiply this situation 1 occasions. The animals will difference somewhat with every new release. In any unmarried new release, the difference could now not be too noticable however over more than one generations, the difference is noticable. Over millenia, the animals might be very distinct. Evolution works considering it's giving the animals a bigger threat of survival. If it did as you advise, gave the animals a smaller threat of survival, then the genes that had been converted might influence in increasingly animals demise. Those that had the genes might be much more likely to die and if they are able to go at the genes, then the ones offspring might have a bigger threat of demise. This might influence within the extinction of animals. That is not going to paintings. There isn't any proof to advise that there's a moral sense at the back of evolution. Your reasoning is established on a soar of good judgment. "Evolution looks to be ordered as a consequence there's a conscienceness at the back of it" is a soar of good judgment. There isn't any proof to aid it.

Answer 5

Firstly in my opinion it would have been very wrong to lie to your child about something as important as personnal beliefs. Why ?
You're net being a good example for your child if you lie. He needs to know who you are.

Also, the only thing that will make him understand how to be a good person is your education. Whether you use religious vaules or personnal values to teach him this doesn't matter. The only difference is that with religion it's "easier" he can learn it in a book, where as in the other case it is your responsibility to guide him.

Personnaly, I prefer my children keep an open mind towards all religions and a opern heart towards all people.

Answer 6

No!..you should not lie to him, but should have went on further to say...that every person when they are old enough to understand what is written about god...has a choice.... to make their own mind up as to whether he exists or not...
I chose, not to believe, but my daughter and grandkids do and attend church regularly..I also being a non believer never baptised or christened my children into any religion..I truly believe it is up the individual to chose what religion or not..We, as parents have no right to make that choice for them...But, that is only my opinion and how I dealt with the same situation...good luck in whatever occurs later...

Answer 7

Most people go to church, not because they beleive in god, but rather IN CASE there is a god. We wouldn't have half the problems in this world if people actually beleived in what the bible said. I know there is no god and I don't have a problem with parents telling their children what they beleive. He will grow up and make up his own mind when he is older. I never would lie to a child.

Answer 8

Everybody has an opinion.

He's 6 years old. Only you (mommy) can tell if he is able to deal with the answer to the question. It could confuse him.

Look online for a book that will help you explain the concept to a child. Seek advice from others who believe as you do.

Answer 9

your not lying when you say you do not believe in God, you are expressing an opinion and that needs to be respected. i would say your 6 year old son is a little too young to understand the difference between universal truths and personal opinions, this may well go for the people who have admonished you for expressing that opinion.

Answer 10

You have the right to tell your 6 y/o child that you don't believe in God. Remember that what's important is not really what you say, but how you say it.

My father didn't believe in God, and my mother did believe in God. As I grew up, I was given the chance to decide on my own whether I wanted to believe in God, or not.