Ugh Custody Battle :(?

Question

I have a charming little Prince aged five who is the center of my world. Unfortunately I had no choice but to leave his father 4 years ago because he had a heroin addiction and had become violent to me.
Since that, my sons father has had his ups and downs , doing well for months at a time and then relapsing to shame. It's been agonizingly stressful I tried tirelessly to keep some form of healthy relationship between father and son because obviously I want the best for my baby boy and he deserves a loving father. Sadly, because of my exes lifestyle and negligence, I am forced to keep my son from him unless someone I trust is present.
My sons father is living with hepC and is negligent when he has wounds, he has recently relapsed again, threatened to kidnap my son and lives in someones back yard in a camper and hasnt payed support in a yr.
What should I expect in court? I wish I didn't have to do this but my son and I have no sense of security without finalizing custody.

I have been sure to contact the police whenever I have encountered problems with my ex. Such as his harassing calls threatening suicide, he had claimed to have gotten in a fight with someone because they threatened to kidnap our son- so I obviously contacted the police on that. I assume it's all on record with the police. He was also charged with assault in the past and has been arressted with possession. I'm sure there is more on his record that he has not informed me on. he is on a methadone program so I also assume I can use that in court since he has had dirty urine tests while on the program, even very recently.
What I worry about is that I recently ended an employment insurance claim from when the business I worked for sold and have been looking for work without avail. Obviously I struggle but my son always has what he needs even if it means I go hungry but I wonder how the courts will view things.

p.s. thanks all from the bottom of my heart for your time and attention with my inquiry :)

Answer 1

I assume you are married. It's long over due for a Divorce in this matter. Pursue full custody of the child. Shouldn't be a problem especially if your husband has an arrest record for drugs.

The custody issue must be addressed. A restraining order may be required. I'd also ask the court to require a responsible 3rd party be present when and if he visits with the child.

Child-support should be ordered by the court.

My experience with drug addicted parents, is that the court will grant the responsible non-addict parent full custody. Will award child support, and will grant restraining orders and 3rd party visitation requirements.

One more thing that is important. You should demand that the court order NO OVERNIGHT VISITS with your soon to be ex and his parents and family members and friends.

Once the restraining order is granted. If and when the ex violates that order the very 1st time have him arrested for the violation. It strengthens your position. It's on the record books and will work in your favor in any future court actions,

Answer 2

The court will go for what is best for your child. However, you may not believe that is their goal when they constantly give a parent one opportunity after another. It is important to gain sole custody through the court. Addiction is a horrible illness. I think a parent should be given an opportunity to change but it sounds as if your he has gone the route. But when the safety of the child is in question that become the priority. Documentation is essential in court. If he has documentation he gains credibility. always be prepared. I worked in Children's Services for 6 years and had a case that took that long to remove a child from an unhealthy situation. Just be prepared and document events.

Answer 3

You will have a long and hard battle. No matter how bad a parent is, it is very difficult to prove in court. there are so many parents that bad mouth the other and make things up that the courts don't always listen unless you have concrete proof. Not paying child support isn't a reason to withhold your childs visits. Doing that can work against you in court as they see it as not trying to facilitate a relationship between them. The chances are even slimmer of them giving you child support and not letting him see his son at all. I know I sound negative, but I wish you the best. I just want you to understand how hard the battle ahead of you is.

Answer 4

You are doing the right thing to protect your young son. He doesn't need to be exposed to HEPc let alone having him exposed to needles etc. or the possiblity of contracting HIV/AIDS from one of those needles.

Supervised visitation would be the only acceptable visitation. Yes, your son needs a father but he needs a father that is clean and sober!

The father of this child will have to prove to the court he is responsible---living in a camper in someones back yard doesn't show stability----and by the very fact he's not paying support for the child shows he's irresponsible too.

Seek out sole physical custody of this child to protect him from his own father!

Answer 5

You do what you must to protect your child. If it comes down to it, seek an Order of Protection against your ex (for both you and your child) and seek full custody of your son.

In an extreme instance, you may have to move. Get an unlisted phone number. Make certain your son's school, daycare provider, whoever, knows that no one but YOU is to pick up your son. Alert these people to the kidnapping threat so they will be extra vigilant.

Best of luck to you. God bless.

Answer 6

your concern for both are real , also the safety from the HEPC, his addiction will be be his down fall to something much worse, your doing what is right to protect you and your son. In court you should expect to have full custody and no coontact until he can prove thru counseling and be clean for a while thats hes capable and responsable to be a father. His negligence has caused this not you. Both your safety emotional and physical are number one. Good luck be strong.

Answer 7

he will by way of regulation have the capacity to report taxes on the toddler on account that he's paying help, yet thats too low your asking. maximum States a larger 0.5 has to pay $one hundred twenty 5 a week in step with a baby, well being care, and preparation lengthy as they attend even college. i pick to operate I dont believe in figure sharing as some couples do on account that its extremely leaving the guy off the hook of no longer paying help or acually his portion of having the little ones each few weekends to provide the female a smash. might want to artwork any incorrect way round too if the guy is granted custody.

Answer 8

well first off watch your son like a hawk . also alert the people you have watching him to the kidnap threat so that they are aware of what is going on . also get yourself a job that way when you go to court they know that you are fully able to support this child. also carry the insurance when and if your employer has it . do what is best for you and your son . bottom line . also you watch that man because he could have something up his sleeve at any time and there is no way on gods green earth would i let him have visitation by himself with your son. and he is not living in a very stable envronment for your son to be a part of . yes you need stability . and so does your son . I will be praying for you honey good luck .

Answer 9

Not sure if you are divorced yet or not? You being unemployed is a concern. Make sure when you go to court you have plenty of job prospects lined up and readily available to show the judge if need be. Don't assume the court will have records of the police reports, go to the police station and get copies of everything you can and file it with the pending motions, or whatever is proper procedure in your county, but make sure you have it with you. Too many times people think the court will have access to it but they don't.
L.

Answer 10

Expect to win custody! I know that he is the father and your boy deserves to have a father....but what kind of role model do you want for the boy? One that does drugs and is unreliable and unstable or one that is in rehab fighting for his life back. Maybe you can talk to counselors and put a condition on custody...like If he remains clean and sober for 1 year he can resume visitation.