Had a perfect love marriage with my husband and against the in-laws wishes. Had problems at the matrimonial home right from day one.Had been verbally and physically abused by both husband and in laws constantly and was forced to contribute my entire salary towards the family expenses due to the torture they gave me.Came to know about husbands illegal affair which when questioned was asked to keep quiet both by in- laws and husband. I have a 10 yr old child and have been putting up with all the nonsense for the sake of him. My husband forced me for mutual consent and since i was not willing to give has filed a petition. How do i approach this ? I am concerned that this shouldn't affect my child's life.
2007-01-09 23:08:32 · 18 answers · asked by R 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
All said & done in your case now during the pendency of you divorce case you should move application for the custody of your child & ask for his/her maintenance from your husband. You can also make a complaint against your husband & in-laws for domestic violence under the Domestic Violence Act, 2005 & claim compensation from them for the damages they incurred on you by their violent action against you & your child. As far as the affect of the divorce on your child is concerned it won’t be having so much bad influence which the regular domestic violence will have if you insist to remain married to such a husband, so let the divorce take place & plan a fresh life for you & your child.
2007-01-10 16:23:06 · answer #1 · answered by bisexualmale s 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have not stated whether you and your son are still staying with your husband and in laws, whether you have any close relations such as parents. siblings, etc. who know of your situation and are willing to help you come out of it. If you are financially independent, then you need to find another place to stay with your son and keep your son away from the influence of his father and grand parents.
You know your son well. He is also not too young to realise what is happening to you. His emotional needs have to be taken care of first. You should talk to him, and prepare him for a separation from his paternal home. Try to get him some trusted friends or family who will be with him when you would be away at work so that he doesnt feel left out. Having seen how you have been treated, he will surely understand.
As there is already a case pending, get your lawyer to approach the court for an interim custody of your son. Carefully gather proof that your entire earnings have been utilised for the family expenses without support from your husband, that your husband is involved in an affair, and about your physical and emotional ill treatment. These would come in handy at the time your case up for trial.
Assuming that the facts mentioned by you are correct, then if you have adequate evidence to support your contentions, you will succeed. Good luck.
2007-01-13 18:31:53 · answer #2 · answered by greenhorn 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As far as child is concerned you need to bother he will take the situation more boldly then you presume.
Keep him aware of the situation, hope he is not too attached to his father. That would be the only issue to worry, but you can over come with that by explaining him little bit of the case, do not try to brain wash him against his father, as it might create bad impression in his mind about men in this world, and he may start hating himself. Just let him know that you two are not going well so you have decided to stay separately, or some other reason which he is already aware of. One more thing try and keep him away when ever you are having a meeting with your in-laws either at counselling or at the court.
Important is get the nightmare over asap.
Make sure you get all your dues with out fail.
God Bless You.
2007-01-10 01:34:10 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It already has had an effect on your child's life. Children are not that clueless and if you really have been verbally and physically abused by your husband and your in-laws the kid is likely messed up because of it. Now, that doesn't mean it's not going to wash off. How should you approach this? With caution and a team made up of a child counsellor or psychologist, a social worker and a lawyer. At least one of each. Hopefully you've got money.
2007-01-09 23:15:45 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are really a brave woman. Do not take anything lying down. If u have a kid of 10 years old your marriage shud atleast be 11 yrs old.File for divorce and ask for child support. dont let your cheating husband get away with this. what if it was u who was cheating?in laws wud have shouted to whole world girl is cheating .Dont take it in such a way where your husband will be benefitted.
And the kid is old enuf u can tell and explain things. being in ugly marriage is much worse than this.explain it slowly.best of luck.
2007-01-12 12:17:25 · answer #5 · answered by di 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How could you have a "perfect love marriage" but then you say you were "verbally and physically abused by husband" that makes no sense? You then said "came to know about husbands illegal affair" again how could you have the "perfect love marriage"? Furthermore, no one "makes you contribute your entire salary", no one held a gun to your head, if they did, call the police. You are not a doormat..... don't act like you are.
L.
2007-01-10 02:10:21 · answer #6 · answered by tink3610 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How coud you describe a perfect love marriage when you had problems since day one caused both by husband and in laws? Explain the situation with your child and get a good lawyer. Don't sign any papers without your lawyer reading it. If possible, stay with your family while proceedings are going through.
2007-01-09 23:23:40 · answer #7 · answered by yummybubbles 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I honestly dont know how to solve the problem, but i dont hin you love marriage was "perfect" if your husband physically and verbally abused you and didnt stand up for you against your in-laws. I hope you find a good answer and a fgood solution by someone else. Sorry I couldnt help.
2007-01-11 00:45:49 · answer #8 · answered by sudheesh s 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The most important example you would set for your child would be :how to face injustice!
Going by all you have explained, a legal separation, with full compensation is what you must seek.
Domestic Violence Prevention Act of 2005/06 which came into being since October 2006, would be a great help.
Seek help from a family court, and take those who wronged you to task.
2007-01-10 20:48:35 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hello. I am really sorry for whatever has happenned with you. When I read about your marital life, I was genuinely angry. I suggest strongly that u get away from that home with your kid as fast as you can with all your belongings. The law will be on your side. If you manage to record some of their abusive language, that'll be even better!! Explain everything to your son, and believe me, after seeing whatever injustice that's happening with you, he'll be sure to support you. File a complaint against your in-laws and husband. they do not deserve any sort of smooth treatment. i beg you to set an example before so many women like you who are educated but still are abused at home and still cannot leave because of their children. I understand you perfectly because I too come from such a background. i watched my mother suffer everyday of her life. She went through hell but remained silent because of us children. Please be brave. you do not deserve this sort of life. you are entitled to a respectful, peaceful life as a human being. If your child remains for long in your husband's place, that will surely affect him - he will become another abusive husband!!
2007-01-10 03:11:53 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋