I found pictures of my boyfriends ex girlfriend on our computer, i only looked at one but she was standing with her breasts on show and no face, i confronted him about it and he has apologised, but we have been together over 2 1/2 years, and i know he has looked at these pictures on more than one occasion, this is very distressing to me because this was a girl he had an affair with while he was engaged to his ex, and in the end it broke their elationship up, he saw this girl on and off for five years, he says he no longer has feelings for her, and before he knew that i had found out about the pictures he had broken the disk they were on, this was a few days before christmas and i am still annoyed and very hurt over it, i know that men have thoughts of other women but it gets a little more serious when its someone that he has a past with. He insists that i am the only one for him, but why would he be looking at these pictures? What should i do?
2007-01-09 22:14:30 · 10 answers · asked by ? 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Clearly he is devoted to you, but would you feel different if he kept some photos of his ex with her clothes on? Probably? It's natural to want to keep a history of your past - maybe you have some photos of ex-boyfriends. But I think it is inappropriate that the photos he keeps are of her with her breasts on show. I'd say that it makes you feel inadequate and insecure, and ask him to delete those photos. Tell him it's OK to keep a couple of her with her clothes on, as it is not right to try and 'edit' his past to suit you, but the nude ones of her are a bit spooky.
2007-01-09 22:35:38 · answer #1 · answered by gorgeousfluffpot 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Looking at old photos dosent always mean that he wants her back but I can fully understand why you feel upset. I have had experience on both sides and will try and offer a point of view for you.
I still have photos of my ex in a box of I would say things that mean a lot to me. On occasions I get them out to look at as they bring back memories which I dont want to forget as they are part of my life and make me who I am today. I am married and my husband is aware oft he photos and is fine. He was upset at first but when I explained that they are just memories and nothing else he was ok. I feel that with everything that has gone on in my life keeping things that remind me keeps me focused..( I hope that makes sense )
From the other side I found some pictures when I was with a guy once of his previous girlfriends ( plural ) and got very upset thinking I wasnt good enough for him. Unfortuanlty he didnt have a good reason and we had a fight about it which ended badly.
It all comes down to trust. Do you trust him? Do you believe him?
I think you need to look at what you have and think if you really love each other it shouldnt be a problem. Sometimes they are just memories.
Hope this helps
2007-01-09 22:28:13 · answer #2 · answered by entertainer 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Once trust is broken, it's impossible to ever get back to where you were in a relationship. You could "make" him destroy the pictures, but if you have to make somebody do something , not on their own free will, it's just not the same. He has hurt you deeply now, and I don't see this ever working for you. Move on! He has a "cheater's mentality"! You're NOT the first one he's cheated on, nor will you be the last. You deserve better!!
2007-01-09 23:04:12 · answer #3 · answered by olderbutwiser 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He says that you are the only one for him, but his actions certainly don't show it. Actions speak louder than words. Once a cheater always a cheater. If it broke off an engagement then it is serious. Move on, you deserve wayyy better than this guy. I know you love him very much but you can't keep getting hurt like this. It is best to end it now. You will find someone who'll treat you right! Tell him to go back to his ex gf if he is so obsessed with her. You shouldn't be with someone like him. Good luck with everything.
2007-01-09 22:21:51 · answer #4 · answered by falala 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If her breast were exposed on the picture and she has came between him and another woman, he still has feelings for her. I know it hurts but I have to keep it real with you. I don't know if he still loves her or is still attracted to her, but it has to be of substance if he broke up with another woman over her. They must have had great sex together if he is still reminiscing over her body parts. She shouldn't still be coming up. If he had disc of her, them more than likely the pictures are stored in his computer. That's just common sense. The answer to this is to find out WHY did they break up.
If they broke up because she got with another guy, then it's a no win situation because he only got with other women because she wasn't available. I've seen guys do this sooo many times. I have pictures of my ex still around and my fiance was furious about it, but truth of the matter is I still love my ex. That's why I keep the pictures to remind me of the good times we had together.
2007-01-10 00:16:22 · answer #5 · answered by Wisdom 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
He's lying to you and himself. This ex somehow keeps materializing in his relationships. His past keeps creeping up on him and now it's involving you. Your gut reactions are telling you that he is far from over her. His actions show that he doesn't want to forget her and it's not likely he ever will. Odds are he has a copy of the disc he broke. If this woman managed to break up one relationship of his then it's probably in the works for you too. If I were in your shoes I'd have my suitcase ready and plenty of gas in the car. It would seem a new day is brewing for you. One that doesn't include him.
2007-01-09 22:41:35 · answer #6 · answered by quantumview 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all make him get rid of all traces of her. Then take a break from each other and if he comes after you promising it will never happen again go back to him and start your relationship again. The same thing happened to me and my fella came running back and now we are getting married!
2007-01-09 22:30:55 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him to delete all the pictures while your standing watching, if you love him and want to stay warn him if he puts another foot wrong you wont hesitate in leaving and mean it...good luck
2007-01-09 22:21:35 · answer #8 · answered by angie 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'll follow u till the end of the road
2016-05-23 02:57:59 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes. if he really loves you, he might come after you and treat you better.
2007-01-09 22:21:00 · answer #10 · answered by Miami.Belle 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋