I have been seperated from my partner for four months now.Were together 3yrs,and broke up a week after we?

Question

moved to Canada(his home country, where we had planned to get married) from UK (my home).
It came completely out of the blue when he called it off. We were one of the happiest couple's I have ever known. He gave his reason as 'it runs in the family, when things are going too well I get rid of them before it hurts me'!!
I couldnt honestly believe it. He told me how in love he was with me, and if it wouldnt work with me, it would never work with anyone. I just sat in complete shock. Since then even getting out of bed is a struggle.
He calls me a lot. It kills me, as we laugh and talk and cry because we're not together. I miss him, not just as my fiancee but as as me best and closest friend in the world.
Since we broke up, I moved back home, but have very little friends , and no one close to me. I have nobody to talk to, or who understands. Im lonely, i pray he'll come back every day.
I cant believe im still this broke after four months. Im still devastated, I want to be happy again

Answer 1

It seems he never had the plans to marry you. He just wanted friendship. Time will make it less painful. You will get out of it and make new friends. Best of luck.

Answer 2

I'm sorry things did not work out as the two of you had planned. This may sound harsh; but at least he had the decency to admit he is a coward. Cold feet are not all that unusual. I have a dear friend who's been seeing a man she's madly in love with and vice versa; but he won't marry her cause things are going so well the way they are...He figures the formality of marriage will hex the whole thing. I'm sorry but better to find out now than six months from now that he changed his mind. I think you need to take care of yourself right now. To do that, you should probably make a clean break from him. I know you love him; but every time you engage in conversation it just re-ignites your sorrow. You are probably depressed to some extent. Three years with one person and all the plans you made and shared is a lot to just evaporate one day. But, do not allow him to continually remind you of his rejection. He made his choice. Get tough and ask him to stop calling...if he ever loved you, he should not continue to hurt you. You will pick up the pieces; but the best way to do that is to disconnect...find somewhere/anywhere to go at least once a week and just get out of the house. It is rough to do, but start with fixing yourself up nice and go for a walk at the mall or something or go to a charity event whatever your style is. Get out, see and be seen. Even if you go alone. I've done it...still do it. Was married 18 years, divorced 5+ years. It takes time to rearrange your routines and meet new people. You will be happy again, I promise you ~ you just have to make up your mind to take control of the situation. You might also consider seeing a counselor or psychologist for a few weeks. They can often help you sort through your feelings and help you find new paths to take. Good luck and take care of you.

Answer 3

I married the man of my dreams just shy of 12 months ago moved half way across the world to be with him and 10 months in found he was cheating on me with internet and phone relationships and one physical affair i'm certain of. I'm shattered, I love him still but i know he was never really honest with me or himself and yet he went through with marrying me.
I feel so hurt and don't think I'll ever get over him, he was just a big fake when it came to the really hard stuff, like being a family and really committing to one person.
I can relate to how shattered you are, but you must get rid of him, for him to be calling you still is almost psychotic, really, he says he doesn't want you any more but still calls you, he's messing with your head. My still husband is the opposite and I found it hard to resolve what happened because he's still being dishonest about what happened and I've figured that I just had to let it go and get on with my life. I have the support of some good friends, I'm older than you, you have the rest of your life and plenty of opportunity to get out and meet people. I find it hard because I keep feeling like the victum in this, and i suspect that you must feel like that too. Try and take control of the situation by doing some positive stuff for yourself

Answer 4

happiness needs to come from within, others can't give us what we need. of course u miss him, but what he did was inexcusable, and what hope can u have with him? what u miss is the illusion of who u thought he was, and what u expected the relationship to be. u can either keep talking to him, or stay away from him, and distancing yourself and starting a new life, with new friends, and maybe a new love, with someone who knows what they want. if he has told u this is a family trait, it could be, but than again it could be that he has done this before to other prospective marriage partner's because maybe he is just too selfish to marry, could stem from something in his childhood too. do u really want to be involved with a man like this?

Answer 5

you'd be more effective useful off contained in the tremendous image in case you do not settle for his calls make your self a secret he will both come to locate you or you'll a minimum of locate out his real emotions. i comprehend it hurts and that i comprehend you've heard this one hundred cases yet time remedies all discomfort actual and psychological.good success and that i desire you the suitable.

Answer 6

You might want to consider counseling, you're obviously, and understandably devastated. Give yourself time to heal. In time, you will be happy again. Good luck!