Why is it so hard being a teenager?

Question

I hate it. I am worrying about everything, and I'm self concious, I'm quiet in school because I think I will just embaress myself if I talk. I'm 15 and I haven't even kissed a girl yet. Am I ever going to get a girlfriend? I hate being around my parents and I feel weird around them, and everything is just ANNOYING ME!!!!!

Why is it so hard being a teenager? Why do I have to deal with all this stuff, and when will it all just end and I will be like I used to be?

Answer 1

Being a teenager is hard because of hormones are starting to kick in, and stress.

Answer 2

It's hard being a teenager. You're too young to do what you want, and too old to do the other stuff. You're so worried what everyone thinks, that you're afraid to be yourself. And you so desperately want to be like everyone else, that you lose who you are.

On the bright side, this too in time shall pass. You'll get to be an adult and discover being a teenager was a lot less painful than you made it.

I despised being a teenager. I was sure no one liked me. I knew I was the most bizarre person in the world. My parents MUST have adopted me because NO WAY was I related to anyone THAT stupid and annoying.

I'm 50 now. All the people I went to school with, now tell me how cool they thought I was...because I was always true to myself. My parents are still annoying (I don't think that ever changes, but I accept it now). I did kiss (boys) and it's only important when it's the "right" person. It never actually STOPS being annoying, but if you suck it up, get an education, and a good job..they pay you to tolerate the annoyances. Always a better thing.

You need to lighten up, and realize just how absurd things are. You will get through this. You may not think you will, but you will.

Answer 3

I was 17 when I had my first kiss. So was my boyfriend.

Then my next boyfriend hadn’t had a girlfriend before me. I was 19, he was 20.

My current boyfriend got together with his first girlfriend when they where 18.

Don’t buy into the “Oh I had a GF/BF at 14!!” stuff. More often than not they’re lying, or simply have a friend of the opposite sex.

Parents drive you nuts. That’s what they do.
Most of them are doing the best they can though… well, that’s what they like to claim.
Adolescences is a time where you establish yourself as an independent individual, you’re bound to clash with your parents. Just try to keep in mind that what seems like the end of the world now will probably be forgotten by your next birthday.

The social pressures of high school are, in a word, evil. I don’t miss it. And I don’t envy the people still going through it.
Be yourself. If they laugh at you, laugh at them for being so simple minded.

Then there’s the biological stuff. Your brain literally re-wires it’s self through adolescence. That’s why it feels like… well, being a teenager. There’s no other way to describe it. It’s confusing, it’s hard, it’s simultaneously depressing, and hysterically funny…

Then there are the hormones… OoOOooo how I hated the hormones…

It sounds incredibly lame, but everyone goes through it, and most of them come out the other side of it.

Just relax, be yourself.
If you can, talk to your parents. I kept a pretty open dialog with my parents, and as a result our relationship “grew up” when I did.

Just think, you’ve only got 5 more years where you can say “It’s not my fault! I’m a teenager!” Embrace it.

Answer 4

Young man, it doesn't have to be like that (hard for you). Seek your guidnace counsler and tell them the things you wrote here. Try not to worry about girls, that will happen in it's own time and trust me that may well be among the biggest problem challenges in your life. I didn't have many girlfriends in high school and now I I have been married 3 times, trust me be patient girls will come soon enough. In the meantime you need to figure out how you can be comfortable in your own skin and things will begin to change for you in a big and positive way. You are at a great place to start thinking about self-respect and self-esteem. If you get those in the right place everything in your life will seem to fall into place around you. Here's the key. Respect yourself; that is treat yourself with great kindness, be gentle with yourself. Think of a fantastic person who you greatly admire, then treat yourself as you would treat that person..... with great respect. Self-esteem is similar, to hold in high esteem is to value someone or something. Act with kindness, honesty, and dignigity toward others always. You will never regret that and that builds your self-esteem. Once you have mastered this kindness toward yourself, you are able to show the same consideration toward others (even if they don't have the same self-respect and self-esteem skills you have developed). A great thing for you to concentrate on is your grades. This will open up the best jobs for you which will give you the most options in your adult lifestyle. The more money you can make the more things you can do. Think about Bill Gates, I am sure he was no Romeo in high school. Remember these things and seek help from a trusted helper, coach, counsler.

Answer 5

I'm so sad that you're passing through what probably is the most insecure and turbulent period in your life. The bad thing is that being a teenager means that you will change a lot, and fast, so much, in fact, that you will hardly even recognize yourself in a couple of years. Also, you will start looking and acting the way you never did before, and it will annoy you a lot, if it doesn't already. The good thing is that you will, when the troubles are over, become a healthy, stable, self-respecting, confident young man, and completely forget how it felt growing up.

Now for the reasons why it is so.
First, the stupid hormones. Both guys and girls change at lightning speed - in height, body shape, body hair, overall appearance, sound of their voice and so on. This might lead you to feeling that your body is just not the way you wanted it to be, or,at least, not like it used to be. Our body is one of the two most important parts of our person (the other is the soul), so if it changes, how do we react to it. And, sudden flushes of formones to your blood cal completely change your mood, from happy to sad to angry. Girls know this best at the time before their period starts, when fluctuation in hormone level makes them psychically ill, although there is nothing physically wrong (it's the notorious pms)

That's on the outside. On the inside, you will, as you grow, change from a carefree kid that's used to chasing a ball round your yard 24/7 and playing computer games, to a future father and head of a family. That's quite a change, right? The problem is, that your brain still doesn't know how to grow up, how to make you feel more secure, stable and responsible, because it has never done it before. That's why it tries all the possible ways to change, so that it can finally find the right one. That means you will have ups and downs, whole weeks of not wanting to talk to anyone, then weeks of wanting to be with people all the time, then, again, wanting everyone to just leave you the hell alone!

And, the hardest thing of all is - you are becoming an adult now, equal to everyone else, so why can't they accept your decisions as equally important to everyone? You suddenly want to be independent and not let anyone tell you what to do, but they keep doing it! Parents, teachers, police officers, everyone! It didn't bother you as a kid, but now it does. The reason for it is that you are still a child, with little experience, but a grown up, with a desire to do as you please. In time, you will gain experience, and lose a bit of that teenage eagerness to do whatever, and to do it now, and you ill became calmer and more rational.

So, that's a bit of science about the topic. As for the advice on making it easier, there are quite simple strategies. First - never, ever, ever, be embarassed of yourself. You are the best you will ever be, and the sooner you realise it, the sooner will the world realise it too. It might be hard, but try participating in discussions as everyone else, because no one's oppinion is superior to another person's. When you understand that you are just absolutely wonderful the way you are, with all your imperfections and fears, the world will suddenly see it, too. And you wouldn't care a thing about the ones who don't.

The problems will probably end completely when you're around 20. You will be adult enough to start just hating everyone and focusing on the good sides of the world around you.

And for the girlfriend - you are not alone, many people your age are single, never had a real date and so on. Don't let it bother you. I know I sound like your mother, but, don't be hasty, trust me, the girl will come along in no time! Most of my friends have had their first kiss around age 17. That doesn't make them more stupid or less lovable. When you will find a girl is just a matter of coincidence and chance.

Sorry for the essay!
Good luck!

Answer 6

You will never be like you used to be because you are growing up and becoming a man - it will get easier and at this age you feel like you are fighting the world. Don't add to your worries by wanting a girlfriend, there is plenty of time for dating. Start mixing in school and talking to people as this will increase your confidence and then it will make it easier to get a girlfriend if that is what you want. As for your parents it is something I think we all have to go through - they just do not understand you - right but that will pass just talk to them and tell them how you feel - I am sure they will understand - I hope things get better for you soon - we have all been there and it does get easier

Answer 7

I was the same way when I was your age. I think that I found myself when I was in college. Made more friends when I started to work. Maybe when you turn 16 get a job and then you might feel more outgoing and confident. I was so quiet in school and never had that many friends. Once I started to work I got more confident. Then I traveled on my own quite a bit when I was in college. Now when I start to question myself and my confidence I think back to "If I could travel through Asia on my own for two months then I can do this!" Now that I am in my twenties and married I think that I wish I could go back to then and not have to deal with all the crap that goes with growing up, bills, buying a house etc... It will all change for you soon enough.

Answer 8

It's just called 'life'... It's a real pain...
When you are teen, you spend your whole time wishing you were older.
When you are older, you'll spend your time wishing you were a teen again.
Teen times is also a difficult time physically for the body as there are many things changing (both for boys, but even more so for the girls).
It's a tough time, but you'll get through it and you'll be a better person for it. (Trust me, there are loads of old farts like to prove that we make it through).

The thing is just to be yourself.
Don't do anything to prove yourself to anyone, you don't have to.
You are you..
People will respect you for who you are.
If they don't then they don't deserve your time.

I used to be the same, very self conscious, only comfortable in a crowd where I could 'hide'. If I heard people talking, I was sure it was about me etc etc etc. In the end, its just best to do what you want to do, when you want to do it.
Treat all others as you would want to be treated, and eventually you'll end up with people who will do the same to you.
If someone dumps on you, then they are not the friends for you.

Your parents might get on your nerves about this time too, but they really only do it because they think its best for you. They don't do it hurt you , but often is appears that way.

Your teens is a time for getting out and doing all the fun stuff. In a few years you'll be stuck behind a day job and not able to do anything. You could even be married with kids in a few years...
Then you'll want to be that teen again...

Make a plan of things you want to do now, and work towards it.
If anybody gets on your nerves, ignore them, move on, find someone else (unless its your parents and then its their job to annoy you, you'll get your own back when you are a parent, trust me ;) )

Answer 9

well we had the same problems 30 yrs ago the only difference is we had no time to worry about it

these days you all just sit around and play video games and listen to music back when we did things with other kids always went outside even in the dead of winter and we had one thing that you guys have way tooooooooo much of.......... given a crap


back when if someone didnt like us we didnt care there was always someone to talk to if someone gave us a hard time we didnt care WE HAD SELF CONFIDENCE we had meaning

instead of sitting here on a computer get out talk to the kid on the bus or down the road JUST SAY HI thats how conversations start you will find there are other kids who are NOT COOL that you can hang out with

it just starts with 2 things SAYING HI and not given a crap if they dont say it back just move on

Answer 10

yeah it sucks.

It will all become distant memory though. Just get through it.

It's amazing really, your parents will suddenly become smart, cool people when you hit your 20's. Women will be a regular part of your life. And once you come to the realization that in general most people struggle with the same crap you do you'll feel a whole lot less self concious.

Tough it out. It WILL get better.


Pretty soon you'll be comlaining about your job.

Answer 11

I know what your saying i was just like u when i was in school but that is part of growing up .
Like when i was 15 i wished everyday just to be 18 and know I'm 21 have my own place but my best years of my life was between 15 - 18 so do not worry things will chance it is only a matter of time try to speak more in school but don't be to forward
and belive me your parents will annoy you for as long as you walk on this earth it is their job .................................................