I do. I believe that nothing is more important than courtesy and respect of your fellow man. Do you feel that lying to someone to keep them from feeling pain is courteous and respectful? Again, I do. I know there are varying degrees of possibilities according to the situation, but if someone's happiness rests on politely telling them an untruth, then I'm all for it...you?
2007-01-09 19:07:26 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Well... like you said, there are different degrees so I would say that it depends on the context. Like, if somebody gives me a gift that I'm not crazy about, I'd damn well better tell them I LOVE it. Because in this case, the truth would have no purpose other than to hurt their feelings. Same goes for telling them their hair looks nice after a really bad haircut. I'm hardly going to say "Holy sh*t! What happened to your hair?!" lol
On the other hand, if it's something that will affect them in the long run, the truth may be for the best, even if it disrupts their happiness for the time being. If my friend (or sister) is dating a loser and asks me what I think of his/her paramore, I'm going to tell them (as politely and gently as possible) that I think they could do better. Even though in this case, he or she isn't REALLY looking for the truth and probably has selective hearing about the subject...
So, I guess my point is, yes, white lies are fine and dandy with me, provided that the outcome will not bite you, or the person to whom you are speaking, in the a s s at a later time.
Okay, time to take a breath! ;-)
2007-01-10 09:20:37 · answer #1 · answered by yumyum 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree that there are varying degrees of possibilities according to the situation. Since, sometimes telling a lie does not protect the other person but, instead, traps him in a wrong way and in the long run hurts him. Lies help only in minor issues, where this lie will not harm. But if you recognize that if this false situation will lead - in the long run- to more pain, it is better to tell the truth in a smooth and cool way. With tenderness, politeness and care. Tell a lie on "does this colour suit me?" but do not tell a lie on "do you love me?" U know what I mean...
2007-01-09 19:18:20 · answer #2 · answered by Alice in Wonderbra 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
There are plenty of times when I feel that lying is the most appropriate action. It protects people and there is little sense in causing people unnecessary grief. I lived and worked in Asia for a few years and it was my experience that people often lied in order to save face. In those cultures it was more important to save face than to necessarily tell the truth.
In the various wars we also saw people lie in order to protect others and in particular to keep the enemy from learning the truth.
It is far to black and white to believe in the whole truth and nothing but, all the time. My partner has cancer and it was a family decision to keep that news from her frail old mother. While no one has lied outright, it is a lie of omission. Telling her outright that her daughter has cancer would only perhaps cause her early demise. Where is the sense in that?
2007-01-09 19:29:34 · answer #3 · answered by gra_gra_55 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree in some situations it is easier to lie. But what's easier isn't always good because telling one lie usually leads to telling more lies to cover up those so your better off telling the truth and if it hurts someone i think once they get pass that. They'll respect you for telling the truth.
2007-01-09 19:19:53 · answer #4 · answered by 2sweet4u 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I concur...
...umm... no I don’t.
We have a lack of common courtesy today - that's for sure (as demonstrated in my “opening” line).
However, I don't think "lying" is a necessary action. It's like that saying "choose your battles" there are certain things that should be brought up and certain things that shouldn't.
>>>JLove- give me an example of a situation you are thinking of.
If "lying" is in reference to someone asking for your opinion on how they look, or some other personal opinion-expected response, and you're thinking of something "negative" that might hurt their feelings, you don't have to "lie" to save feelings.
“If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all...”
I think people have a misunderstanding of what "positive criticism" is. You can tell someone the truth without hurting their feelings. (Hmmm...maybe except for some women – don’t ever tell her she looks fat in those jeans (j/k), but anyway...)
And if your response causes someone's feelings to be hurt, then there is something wrong, not with what you said, but HOW you said it, and your character will back that up.
“The naked truth is always better than the best dressed lie” - Ann Landers
I don't think (you're) doing anyone any favors by lying. I don't think you're doing yourself any favors by lying either.
"A single lie destroys a whole reputation for integrity.” - Balthazar Gracian (Philosopher and Writer)
Besides, when/if that person does find out that you lied, in the end, they won't see it as you were just trying to keep from hurting them, they'll be more hurt you lied...
Friedrich Nietzsche once said, "I'm not upset that you lied to me, I'm upset that from now on I can't believe you.”
It is harder for someone to regain my trust then it is for someone to re-acquire it.
Anyway... I say a lot of s*it but we’re all human, we’re all going to lie at one point or another, and yes, I have lied thinking that it would save someone from getting hurt, (I think more so, I lied to save myself from getting hurt) but I don’t like doing it and very rarely am I able to give “criticism” without it being a positive one. (Make sense?)
.pEace.
2007-01-10 08:18:53 · answer #5 · answered by ...Tell Me 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i bear in mind while my dad observed my cuts, i informed him that it replaced right into a recreation i performed with a freind to work out who would desire to undergo the main soreness, yet of path he didnt beleive me. going to a therapist would desire to not be a foul theory, whether you sense such as you dont decrease anymore. I certainly have "stopped" slicing many time, just to start up it up back months later as quickly as I couldnt handle issues. whether chatting alongside with your dad, explaining, is relatively the only undertaking you're able to do. mothers and dads could be annoying to handle, each so often they wont understand, mine didnt. however the only undertaking you're able to do is tell the fact. clarify the way you sense, the extra you communicate on your dad with regard to the extra he will sense take care of which you're on the mend. shutting him out will in simple terms panic him and would desire to convey approximately seriouse issues...stable success and that i wish each thing works out for you :)
2016-10-30 12:27:17 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
obviously depends. but no. I believe in telling the truth, lying and distorting the truth are very different things.
2007-01-09 19:15:28 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Not at all.
Instantly it may appear to be helpful or harmless; but in the long run lies with any reasons will only beget lies. Mankind will never have peace in lies.
2007-01-09 19:21:44 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Totally agree, better keep someone happy with lies than sad with true
2007-01-09 19:29:23 · answer #9 · answered by Carlos A 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I agree. I dont believe I lie often but it does happen on occasion lol
2007-01-09 19:19:06 · answer #10 · answered by babygirl143_dk 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋